Bubbles Galore

This is a film that has to be seen to be believed. Not only is it rather explicit at times, but the acting is poor, the story is practically incoherent, and the film is pretty much a mess. But even with all of these huge flaws, I almost liked this film. I mean, it is SO bad, that it is somewhat enjoyable, in a bizarre sort of way. If not for the thoroughly unappealing scenes with Annie Sprinkle, I might have even given this bomb a passing grade, as weird as it may sound. This is definitely not a film for most people, and it will probably offend almost everyone, but if you like seeing BAD movies, or if you like lots of female flesh, then perhaps this could be worth your time.

If you hear cheesy porn music and giggle, or crack a pizza boy joke every now and then, then this movie will probably make you laugh.

Don't look for plot, or acting ability, or anything that would generally make a movie good. Because this isn't a good movie. It's a stupidly funny semi-porn. If you can laugh at that, then it's worth watching. If you need it to be obviously funny, then you should watch Orgazmo and call it a night.

Consider that it's about a porn star's guardian angel. And that it's dedicated "To Working Girls Everywhere". And that it takes all of the stereotypes from porno and fills them full of fake body parts and even faker actors. Enjoying this movie requires an ability to laugh at absurdity, even if you think that maybe, just maybe, this was a serious attempt at some serious topic that you just can't grasp (there's no way it is, anyway).

This is without a doubt, one of the most tackiest films I've seen. It makes "Clerks" and similiar amateur films look as if they were directed by David Lean! And the worst part of it is that we Canadian tax-payers shelled out 125000 dollars for it. The film claims to be a feminist sex fantasy, detailing the issues surrounding pornography and women's place in it. In actuality, it is a hardcore porno film, with numerous bad actors, and many real, as opposed to simulated, sex scenes. The "message" seems to be window-dressing on such a non-story. The filmmaking itself is humurously inept, as it seems to be shot by somebody who just purchased a cheap home-video camera, and is just learning how to use it. At least Ed Wood had the good sense to use black-and-white film, which is about all that could make this film better. When the controversy broke over the fact taxpayers money was used to fund this film, I assumed the fuss was the mere fact the film dealt with the sex trade and pornography. I actually believed it was a serious film, knowing "of course, government art agencies wouldn't knowingly fund a xxx-film." Showcase cashed in on the fuss by airing it, uncut, on their late-night slot a few days ago, and the truth.... the film was a porno, after all. Apparently, the funders loved the premise so much they didn't bother to check on the final product. I bet they're embarrassed. The idea of a movie revolving around a female porn star is a great one. It would be a chance to study what sort of person she is, etc. But this movie lost that chance. And as a MOVIE, it fails big time.

For the first time in my life, I will give a movie less than one star! 1/2*

Bubbles Galore succeeds in recreating the 'amateur hour' atmosphere of many XXX-rated videos. But that's not saying much -- I've seen $1.98 porno vids with better production values, editing and acting than this piece of tripe. This film was made with the help of a Canadian government grant -- and the resulting controversy over Bubbles Galore means future filmmakers will probably have trouble getting funding in the future. Casting real-life porn star Nina Hartley in the lead, as well as porn star-turned-performance artist Annie Sprinkle as 'God' were good moves, but ultimately can't save this debacle. If Edward D. Wood, Jr. were still alive, he might have been able to do something worthwhile with this ... in his unique way.

I have seen a lot of bad movies, but this is by far the worst I have seen. Horrible camera work, almost complete lack of plot and no sort of logical anchor at all, this movie painfully drags the viewer through an hour and a half of sex and mild violence without explaining anything. At the end of the movie the audience is left wondering what the heck happened, as the ending makes no sense and is just painful to watch as it is filmed with a bright but faded look to it, screeching drowning any dialogue attempted (not that any dialogue could have saved this movie, even at the beginning). Avoid this movie at all costs.