Bubbles Galore

I have seen a lot of bad movies, but this is by far the worst I have seen. Horrible camera work, almost complete lack of plot and no sort of logical anchor at all, this movie painfully drags the viewer through an hour and a half of sex and mild violence without explaining anything. At the end of the movie the audience is left wondering what the heck happened, as the ending makes no sense and is just painful to watch as it is filmed with a bright but faded look to it, screeching drowning any dialogue attempted (not that any dialogue could have saved this movie, even at the beginning). Avoid this movie at all costs.

If you hear cheesy porn music and giggle, or crack a pizza boy joke every now and then, then this movie will probably make you laugh.

Don't look for plot, or acting ability, or anything that would generally make a movie good. Because this isn't a good movie. It's a stupidly funny semi-porn. If you can laugh at that, then it's worth watching. If you need it to be obviously funny, then you should watch Orgazmo and call it a night.

Consider that it's about a porn star's guardian angel. And that it's dedicated "To Working Girls Everywhere". And that it takes all of the stereotypes from porno and fills them full of fake body parts and even faker actors. Enjoying this movie requires an ability to laugh at absurdity, even if you think that maybe, just maybe, this was a serious attempt at some serious topic that you just can't grasp (there's no way it is, anyway).

I wonder why the Showcase Channel continues to air this "movie" occasionally. I guess they want to show what a XX movie is like as opposed to a X or XXX film. Personally, I consider it the first XX film ever made, and boy is it awful. It wouldn't even qualify as a cult film.

If it's a feminist film, it portrays women in a horrible manner (as well as men). If it portrays God as both man and woman (check what's under the arms...ewww), it fails miserably. If it's supposed to be porn, again it fails.

The plot, about a porno being filmed, and the ridiculous subplots involving the "stars" of the film, is just plain silly. Shot like a Russ Meyer film with quick edits, and given a "Natural Born Killers" style verite look; it fails to even amaze or anger. All we get to see are fake penises, sex toys, horrible choreographed fight scenes, lame sex scenes, awful dialogue and acting, and women who have the worst tanlines I've ever seen (tops and bottoms, or both). I wonder why these "exhibitionists" who make these kinds of films need to wear full bathing suits when getting a tan? Do we need to see these ladies in thongs when it clearly shows that they wear normal bathing suit bottoms at the tanning salon? Can't they at least be like France's women, who believe that a full tan is that more sexier? Oh, well...

The bottom line is that this movie is one of the worst ever made. Nina Hartley obviously spends every dime at the plastic surgeon and can't act to save her life, and the rest look like people just off the street. Fortunately, the government of Canada will make sure nothing like this hopefully gets produced again.

I love this country! Where else would various government agencies fund a raincoater.

To be fair, this is Nina Hartley's best work to date(if one overlooks her perfomance in Boogie Nights).

Women are making strives in the Adult film industry and are beginning to stretch their wings in this genre.

This is a strange film, a little violent and hard to follow at times, but slightly better than a Three's Company rerun.

Interestingly enough, Nina Robert's hasn't seen the film yet, and this film will never be realeased in the U.S.

This movie does have a fair bit of Canadian Content, enough I suppose to justify the grants,

This time Canada plays Canada for a change.

This is without a doubt, one of the most tackiest films I've seen. It makes "Clerks" and similiar amateur films look as if they were directed by David Lean! And the worst part of it is that we Canadian tax-payers shelled out 125000 dollars for it. The film claims to be a feminist sex fantasy, detailing the issues surrounding pornography and women's place in it. In actuality, it is a hardcore porno film, with numerous bad actors, and many real, as opposed to simulated, sex scenes. The "message" seems to be window-dressing on such a non-story. The filmmaking itself is humurously inept, as it seems to be shot by somebody who just purchased a cheap home-video camera, and is just learning how to use it. At least Ed Wood had the good sense to use black-and-white film, which is about all that could make this film better. When the controversy broke over the fact taxpayers money was used to fund this film, I assumed the fuss was the mere fact the film dealt with the sex trade and pornography. I actually believed it was a serious film, knowing "of course, government art agencies wouldn't knowingly fund a xxx-film." Showcase cashed in on the fuss by airing it, uncut, on their late-night slot a few days ago, and the truth.... the film was a porno, after all. Apparently, the funders loved the premise so much they didn't bother to check on the final product. I bet they're embarrassed. The idea of a movie revolving around a female porn star is a great one. It would be a chance to study what sort of person she is, etc. But this movie lost that chance. And as a MOVIE, it fails big time.

For the first time in my life, I will give a movie less than one star! 1/2*