Bikini Goddesses

Billy's a penniless American teenager shipped off to spend the summer with his estranged dad, a sleazy Greek resort manager. He spends his free time wandering in the hills, and stumbles on an ancient ruin where three pretty, if flat-chested, demigoddesses have been imprisoned for the last few millennia. He speaks the magic words, returning them to life as his very high-maintenance handmaidens. Billy feels he must hide them at all costs, but they'd rather spend their time running around the beach in their bikinis.

On the IMDb credits page for this movie, the only cast member listed is the lead actor-- which is almost fair, since he seems to be the only who speaks enough English to understand his lines. Not that it matters-- two thirds of the film is taken up with dialogue-less beach scenes with tedious theme music played over and over. And despite the filmmakers' best intentions, this really turns out to be a kind of anti-travelogue, shot in an utterly depressing resort with a hotel that looks more like a waste-water treatment plant.

And by the way, even though they keep insisting that the story takes place in Greece, it was actually shot in Romania. That's right-- it's a Romanian beach movie-- what else do you need to know?