To Catch a Yeti

I don't know why I thought this might be good. Turns out it's virtually comedy free and full of plot holes. There was one only funny moment in the entire movie. The best joke was when they were in the train station and they announced the last train to Clarksville, but it wasn't funny enough to make me laugh. You might like this if your are 8 years old but anyone older won't enjoy this for a minute.

It doesn't get much worse than this folks. To Catch A Yeti is bad in every respect, beginning with the creature itself. The bug-eyed gooning animatronic representing said beast is an insult to cinema, with movement literally restricted to the thing being dragged along, on a poorly disguised sled, through the snow. Similarly the annoying coos which emanate from the Yeti's static plastic face are an annoying as they are bizarre.

Beyond that the production values are below par from children's television, never mind a movie, and its star, one Meat Loaf, though tasked with the difficult job astonishingly manages to be the worst feature in the entire film, proving once and for all that rock music saved many a movie audience from his bewilderingly insensate acting style.

Plot and characters, in as much as they exists, are instantly forgettable, and quite honestly you'll spend the entire film being obsessively irritated by the Yeti. Yes, it really is that lamentable.

Arguably children might get something out of this on a Saturday morning while mom and dad enjoy a lie in, but an enjoyable family film this isn't.

In 1994, Meat Loaf fiercely attempted to end his acting career by playing Big Jake Grizzly, a hunter who tries to catch a yeti.

Okay, brace yourselves, here it comes: the mighty yeti is about 20 inches tall and looks like the furry result of a disastrous love affair between a Gremlin and a Monchichi. Yikes.

The Yeti escapes to the big city and hides out with an American family. The whole thing is of course reminiscent of E. T. and ALF... if you subtract the homesickness drama and all the humor. The frazzled teddy doesn't talk, he just stares super cutely. He hardly ever moves, just squats around or is carried. The puppet animation is just lousy, so that there is no sympathy for the annoying sit-down monster.

This movie is so stupid that you wonder how something like this could ever be filmed. It thankfully only ran on TV and was released on VHS, but my goodness, real people watched this! The makers should be prosecuted for this.

I only watched this to see just how bad it was and because it involved Meatloaf (RIP). Speaking of which, what the hell was he thinking when he signed on for this? I'm not at all surprised this took less than two weeks to film, because it completely shows.

Meatloaf plays a hunter named Big Jake Grizzly who is hired to catch a Yeti by an evil millionaire while accompanied by his dim-witted assistant, Blubber. The Yeti stows away aboard a plane, winds up in New York, is taken in by a suburban family and is named Hank by the daughter, Amy. Naturally, Grizzly and Blubber follow to continue their hunt and collect their payment while shenanigans ensue as Amy tries to send Hank home.

First off, the little Yeti puppet looks nothing like a Yeti and spoke volumes of the films crummy budget. He looked very cheap and unimpressive, as if he were a reject puppet made for a kids show from a decade prior, and his rat-like tail, and buck teeth made him look hideous. He hardly even moved by himself at all, and every sound he made was annoying. The rest of the effects were just as bad, with choppy editing and poorly executed slow/fast motion during the action scenes.

All of the actors are as wooden as 2x4s as they phone in their roles. Meatloaf himself couldn't save this movie and looks like he doesn't even want to be here. The other characters are either dull or as annoying as the Yeti, and worst of all was Wesley, the spoiled rich kid and likely future serial killer since he just wants the Yeti so he can abuse it.

Ultimately, this was an ET rip-off mixed horribly with the Yeti genre. I highly doubt even young children would enjoy this. Personally, I was bored to tears and couldn't even be bothered to watch anymore after the first half-hour, because that was more than enough to conclude that this film is trash and deserves its low rating.

To Catch a Yeti (1995)

BOMB (out of 4)

Incredibly horrid rip of E.T. has a big time hunter (Meat Loaf) tracking a yeti only to find it living with a family and beloved by the little girl. Even on a cute kids movie level, this film is quite horrid and comes off more creepy than sweet, which was its main goal. The movie is awful on every level and this includes the performances, which range from bad to suicide worthy. Meat Loaf has been good in several films but he's really bad here. The Loaf goes over the top and his performance is all over the place as if he doesn't know what to do. Chantellese Kent plays the young girl who befriends the yeti and she turns in one of the worst performances from a child actor. The screenplay is all over the place as well and the jokes are way too forced to work. The director apparently realized this was going to be junk because I can't see any signs of actual directing being done.