Stormswept

I...don't get what they were trying to do, but I can tell you with confidence that they didn't accomplish it.

I'm gonna keep it simple: The film quality is terrible, the acting is bad, and the editing is atrocious. It stars the blonde female cop from Samurai Cop, so...yeah. You know it's gonna be bad. But not entertainingly bad like Samurai Cop. Just bad bad like the Samurai Cop sequel.

It couldn't beat my 15-minute cut-off.

"Stormswept" is bad in every way: technically inept (witness the many continuity errors regarding costuming, the frequent intrusion of the boom mike into frame or the overall poor image quality), clumsily written and spottily acted. Though sold as a paranormal thriller, it is mostly an actor's workshop; the characters are stranded in a big old Louisiana plantation house while a storm rages outside. There are numerous boobs on display, male-female sex, female-female sex and lots of talking about sex, all presented in the least visually interesting fashion imaginable. Regarding its horror elements: "Stormswept" is a surprisingly bloodless film. At least a little gratuitous killing would have livened up the proceedings; when this dud reaches its rushed ending, one is tempted to scratch one's head with a dumbfounded expression and ask oneself the question, "Did I really just waste and hour and a half of my life on that?" AVOID this time-waster no matter what; you'd be better off smacking your head with a hammer and watching the stars and planets orbit for 90 minutes.

This movie doesn't know if it wants to be a psycho slasher thing, or a ghost story, or a soft core party, and ends up being none of them.

The only reason to see this picture is if you must see every frame of Lorissa McComas ever released. (Which would be understandable...) But if you were just looking for Lorissa, see _Lapdancing_, where she has a character you can care about, and more and better screen time.

This movie would have to get better to be bad. Do not be fooled by the plot summary on back of the box. It is a poorly shot badly acted story about people you do not care about. It is not so bad as to be campy fun. Just say no.

I watched all of three minutes of this movie before turning it off. That was two minutes too long.