Chopper chicks in zombietown

Not bad, at least for a Troma production, but far from great or even remotely memorable. That's pretty much the consensus on "Chopper Chicks in Zombietown" and I have very little to add to that. I expected something far worse, that's for sure, but I really can't say that I intend to recommend the film to anyone else. A bunch of wannabe rough and tough biker chicks, respectably calling themselves the Cycle Sluts, passes through a secluded little desert called Zariah with a population of 127. They stick around for some reason, presumably just to shock the hillbilly locals with their bad girl attitudes and parade around in leather pants. Five miles further down the desert, however, a wacky mortician is developing a serum to bring the dead back to life. Basically, this nut creates zombies by drilling a hole in the cadavers' heads and filling it up with radioactive goo before lowering some type of antenna in their brains. He doesn't do all this for the sake of glory or money, but just because he's completely crazy and that are his own words. Suddenly, a truckload of zombies break through the door of an old abandoned mine and slowly begin to wander their way to town. From then on, you would expect an exciting zombie showdown horror movie, but no, understandably it takes an enormously long time for the zombies to reach Zariah. Also, whenever they are shown dwelling through the desert, a really absurd little country and western tune plays. Meanwhile, back in the town, the biker chicks are adapting to small town life. As to be expected in an all-girls society, there's rivalry, jealously, arguing and eye-scratching aplenty as well. When the zombies *finally* come marching in, the townsfolk actually hire the biker chicks to exterminate them, because the walking corpses are all deceased family members and/or highly respected former community members and killing them would be just too painful. That's actually one of the few really interesting little twists in the plot. The comical parts in the script are not exactly funny, with the exception of the zombies attacking the bus of an orphanage for blind children, but the zombie action (at least when it finally kicks in) is quite cool. Referring back to the part with the blind orphan kids, I really laughed hard with that. Defending themselves from danger they cannot even identify, one of the kids says: "Great… Blind, no parents and now this happens!". The evil mortician has a creepy dwarf as an apprentice and the isolated desert setting definitely contributes a little something. Unfortunately, however, the film is generally lacking. For example, it takes the chopper chicks ages to establish that it takes destruction of the brain in order to effectively destroy a zombie. I guess they were too busy being tough all those years and never watched a horror movie before. There exist very few good reasons to seek out this obscure 80's film, expect maybe to witness one of the first roles of Billy Bob Thornton as one of the chicks' hard- drinking rednecks. Watch Billy Bob getting beat up by a biker girl!

The Cycle Sluts roll into a small town to stop and get refuelled before hitting the road. Not only do they find that one of their number has a husband in the town (and was a home-coming queen in her day) but they also find that something is going on in the mine. A man has discovered valuable radioactive material in the mine and has been using zombies to harvest it. However when the zombies escape the Cycle Sluts might be the only ones able to stop them.

I didn't know anything about this film when I taped it. To be honest I was drawn to the title as much as anything else. I didn't expect a great deal from it, but my heart still sank a little when I saw it was a Troma flick. I have never seen a film from this stable that has risen above the low standards that have become synonymous with them. From the cheap, nasty opening credits through to the rubbish special effects and laughable `undead' this film is trash in every sense.

Sadly it hasn't got the sense to really send itself up in the way enjoyable trash usually will. Instead it just seems to wallow in it's own low standards with no desire to actually improve any part of it. The plot is meaningless and is made up of poor gore, no scares and no meaningful themes at all. Add to this a really cheap look, direction so poor that `lack of direction' is not so much a criticism as an aspiration and a total product that cries out to be labelled `banged out'.

Against all this, the acting of the leads isn't awful – they look good in comparison! The `chopper chicks' themselves are actually pretty cool and mostly pretty sexy/good looking – Gretchen Palmer being the cutest and most fresh faced (definitely not a woman who has ridden a motor bike across America!). The zombies are a total laugh – just walking slowly with basic makeup and groaning. The most notably actor (but not for his performance) is Billy Bob Thornton, who must look back on this now and thank God that he has risen above this type of work.

Overall, anyone watching Troma films should be ready for the low standards and lack of spark that generally come with them. I was ready for something poor but even still I was caught off guard by just how poor the whole thing was. Worth watching if you've never seen a Troma film, but other than that it's not worth the bother and is about as sh*t as you'd expect.

GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE!

IF you don't then you are either going to be killed by:

A. Lesbian bikers B. Flesh eating zombies C. A bus-load of blind orphans!

This movie says something that I've been saying for a long time, there simply aren't enough movies about a gang of gay bikers (bikettes?) who have to attack a load of Zombies who could possibly threaten a whole town, not to mention the busload of blind orphans.

If you liked TROMA'S other masterpieces such as TROMEO AND JULIET, or THE TOXIC AVENGER, this may be more to your tastes. Obviously, if you liked this movie then you should check out the other two that I just mentioned.

It's funny, if you can watch it in the right spirit.

A load of biker chicks end up in a town where zombies roam about

That's it; plenty of gore, no nudity, and a very early performance by Billy Bob Thornton!

I suppose the best one can say is that's it only 80 minutes long

Just looking over some of the other reviews, and if I may humbly suggest, I feel like maybe you're missing the point. It dosen't say "Citizen Kane" anywhere on the box. It's "Troma" for God's sake, what do you expect?

This is just a big, dumb, loud, stupid movie. But how can you not like a herd of zombies chasing down an ice-cream truck filled with raw meat? Or a bus load of blind kids who act like real people instead of just some sympathy factory? If nothing else, the pure inventiveness of simply stapling a zombies mouth shut (He can't eat you if he can't open his mouth) is one of the best things I've seen in ages!

The plot is, at best, thin. Most of the acting is so wooden the actors/actresses should be sprayed for termites. A group of thirteen-year olds with a $50 budget could do better special effects.

But...this film always makes me smile. It succeeds wonderfully in what it was made to do. That is, be an exploitation/horror/comedy/b-movie joyride. Just check your brain (and your good taste) at the door.