Winterbeast

This is quite simply the most terrible film I have ever seen in my life. That being said, I have seen it several times. Winterbeast is the story of a claymation class project that someone tried to turn into a full-length movie (or at least this is how I understand it). I am not really sure what the plot was, it just seemed to be an excuse to hook together several otherwise unconnected claymation short films. The opening scene must be seen to be believed. This is not even in the "so bad it's good" category, but in a relatively unique category: "must be seen to be believed, and then told about in hushed whispers at parties until you convince other poor buggers to watch the thing."

I rented it on a lark at a video store in Maine, I was not expecting much, but what I got was something very terrible. I sat and watched the opening scene several times in awe of the terrible editing and worse special effects. I still am not entirely sure what happens in the first few minutes, but I do know that it is incredibly fun to watch your friends see it for the first time. From then on, you will simply laugh or gape in amazement at the horrible majesty that this film surrounds itself with. This is the great grandson of Ed Wood, and is possibly even worse than anything produced by the great master of schlock. Don't try to follow the plot, it may make you go insane.

All that being said, if you are a connoisseur of terrible films, you cannot rest without seeing this movie. Force yourself through it, if only be able to claim that you have done so. Then make your friends who think that they are hip enough to like "films so bad they are good" watch this film and sit back and enjoy the reactions. Alcohol is a good way to do this, because it will numb you to the disaster of the film, yet allow you to enjoy your friend's reactions even more thoroughly. This is one of the few films where it is more fun to watch the audience than it is to watch the film.

Winterbeast (1992) is a movie that I recently watched on Shudder. The storyline follows a couple of forest rangers working on a mountain with an Indian curse that has caused a history of disappearances. They start finding dead bodies all over the forest and as they dig into the root cause they start finding demons all around them.

This movie is directed by Christopher Thies in his directorial debut and stars Charles Majka (The Polka King).

This is a way out there movie. I've really never seen anything like this. I did like the opening birth scene and the mummy sequence in the woods. There's also some nice tan line boobies in here and a really weird sequence that goes with it. The claymation aspects of this movie blew me away, like who thought this was a good idea? Then there was a huge bird. The ending of this movie is awful.

This movie is one to watch if you want to watch a really, really bad horror movie. I would score this a 2/10 and recommend skipping it.

This is so horrifically low-budget that you'd swear it was made during the dark ages (aka, the 70's). The plot makes no sense whatsoever, but it's great fun to watch with a group of friends.

An amateur misconjecture devoid of anything recognizable as production values, WINTERBEAST is sure to win the hearts of all bad movie masochists fortunate enough to track it down.

The spindly story involves a woodsy resort town cursed by ancient Native American demons which manifest as wobbly totem poles, a giant chicken, and a goofy rubber spinal cord thingie with a big, grimacing head. The resident lawmen launch a bumbling investigation of several recent disappearances in the area, and gradually become aware of the mounting danger. In predictable B-horror fashion, they motion to alert and evacuate the area despite the resistance of the creepy mayor and some greedy local business owners who fear a loss of tourism revenue.

WINTERBEAST boasts clay stop-motion effects which appear to have been lifted from some tragic Third-World GUMBY knockoff, and intendance at every phase of production is catastrophically all-thumbs. Staggering, hilarious, and almost psychedelic in its diversiform inelegance, this is a lovable wonderwork of unsung schlock majesty which is surely a cult-film in wait.

5/10.

I'm not sure how this movie is averaging just over four stars, I had to do all I could to make it through the first four minutes.

I got sucked in because of the not so terribly awful rating, but should've known after the first few minutes this movie was just terrible. No name actors, most of which this was their first and last film role, just as bad special effects and a storyline that Christopher Columbus could not navigate.

So the next time your channel surfing, trying to kill a couple of hours, do your diligence and avoid this film. There are much better alternatives out there, the first one is Wendigo that comes to mind.