Science Crazed

Canada comes through again with this zero-budget horror/comedy (???).

A mad scientist impregnates a woman using an experimental procedure, resulting in her giving birth a day later, and the fetus becoming a fully grown person a day after that. This "newborn" (a guy wearing jeans, a bloody t-shirt, and bandages on his head) goes on a killing spree. The majority of the film's runtime is taken up by shots of the monster's feet as he shambles down hallways and corridors. A good solid 15 minutes of the movie's 82 minutes is comprised of footage of two women working out, first through aerobic dance, then at a gym.

Large portions of the rest of the film are also padded in this manner, with people lounging around an in-door swimming pool, or walking in parking garages. There's about 30 lines of dialogue total, and several close-ups of people that look more like lighting tests than actual film footage. Truly one of the worst movies ever made. Enter at your own risk!

My review was written in January 1991 after watching the movie on IAE video cassette.

This bottom of the barrel video represents amateurism at its worst. Purported horror "comedy" is interminable and incompetent, as repped by several of the hero's lines at the end of the film missing because someone forgot to dub them.

Apparently Canadian made circa 1987 as "The Fiend" as probable working title, Ron Switzer's film concerns a monster (Tony Dellaventura) prowling the corridors of Shelley Institute, occasionally attacking not-so-pretty women. Switzer repeats the same shots with all the aplomb of a porno video director.

The sound is haphazard, editing pitiful and sets virtually nonexistent. Many scenes are shot abstractly with characters surrounded by darkness. Makeup effects for the bandaged fiend are poor, and lack of any imaginative gore is something of an insult for the completist fans who try to sit through this one.

About the only items to keep one awake are cryptic scenes such as a blonde reciting and writing down the names of countries at random until the monster kills her. As an amateur audition film it fails on all counts.

This is horrific. No really, this is ,bar none, the absolute worst...worst...I hesitate to even call it a @&$%in' _movie_. It is a ninety minute visual root canal. The plot is practically non-existent: a mad scientist who looks like the frontman from 'The Cars' impregnates a woman in his secret lab, a lawn chair in what I think may be a garage, via an injection of Palmolive. Within hours she births a full grown monster who then goes on a rampage. Thats the whole movie. The death scenes: these are poorly set up, take _forever_, and the acting...how can you mess up _screaming_?? The victims stand there while the growling, wheezing, congested freak advances on them and proceeds to limply strangle them for about three days. The sets are cheesy, the lighting for most of the movie consists of a single maglite (yes, a big honkin' flashlight), the sound quality is poor, theres only about 40 words of dialogue for the entire movie and the acting is generously described as wooden. Footage is shamelessly recycled to pad out the movie. And the special effects would make any BBC sci-fi production shake their head and proclaim "They didn't even try". The 'monster' is some nameless in a $3 halloween rubber mask with a few bandages slapped on. In its encounter with the lone cop of the movie the cop fires flashless, smokeless, invisible bullets that apparently travel so slow the monster can dodge them at five paces. Don't see this movie. No really, thats not a dare. Don't see this movie. The director should be shot. The writer should be chained to a giant rock where his liver will be devoured every morning by Ed Wood. Enough rentals and there could be a sequel, don't let it happen!

Canadian film-maker Ron Switzer delivers a solid, non-stop thrill ride of relentless horror with the superb 1991 sci-fi film "Science Crazed". A hideous monster takes revenge on his mother, a police officer and tenants of an apartment building. Brilliant practical make-up and special effects designs create a truly terrifying monster, especially when lurking through the atmospheric shadows and smoke of the gloomy apartment settings. The characters are developed beautifully with outstanding and surprisingly touching performances from an ensemble cast. Produced by Donna Switzer, newcomer Ron Switzer also penned the film's face-paced script, weaving together an engaging roller-coaster ride of twists, turns, and terror that keeps you guessing until the last frame. Science Crazed will no doubt leave you haunted long after the shocking conclusion. Highly recommended!

I've (and enjoyed, for their badness) bad movies before, but this beats all. I mean, I knew it was bad going in, but nothing could have prepared me, I assumed others were exaggerating. There is literally probably only about 15 minutes of film in here, if you took out all the repeated shots, and you tightened the edits like a normal person on a normal film would have done.

Things that made no sense: women in heels and/or earrings at the swanky indoor pool inside the Institute. The statement that "we should wait here for 15 minutes, and then search again, it's our only choice." Why calling the police leads to a video store. It's only a movie in the sense that a mud pie is a pie, it's that far off the mark.