Double arnaque

One evening,while channel surfing, my friend and I came upon this film on TV. In its own way, it was more astonishing than anything by Kurosawa, David Fincher or Takeshi Kitano. We simply couldn't believe what we were watching. We sat there as dumbstruck and as open mouthed as if we were watching Elvis doing his shopping in the local Sainsburys store. How could any film be such a complete failure? Even awful films usually have some saving grace, some ray of light, that stops your viewing being a completely worthless experience - one good performance or one funny line or even just some good scenery. 'Bullseye!', however, exists entirely in a vacuum; in a cinematic black hole. The script: No good. The acting: No good. The direction: No good. The editing: No good. Even the music: No good. Yet, later, I realised that the ray of light that I'd been looking for was actually in the fact that the film was such a total, glorious misfire and, if one watches it from that perspective, it's a wonderful film. The next time it came on TV I made sure to tape it and every so often I watch it again, in awe at its uselessness. It's nothing against Michael Winner personally. I'm sure he's a lovely bloke but, as a film maker, he makes a magnificent restaurant critic.

Not quite the bullseye, but nonetheless director Michael Winner would get enough amusement out of the pairing of English actors Michael Caine and Roger Moore in this riotously goof-ball and crude comedy caper that sees the pair playing dual roles. Two small time conman take on a job which sees them impersonating two look-alike nuclear scientists to use their identities to get into the scientific safety deposit box which is filled with millions of dollars worth of diamonds. However they are found out by the authorities, where they learn that these scientists happen to be crooked and they get caught up in the country's national security ("We're thieves, not spies").

Bumbling, cartoon-like slapstick of the lowest dominator, but I liked it a little more than its monstrous reputation. The performances are all over the shop, as an animated Caine shamelessly bellows out his lines while Moore goes about things in a dry manner. Sally Kirkland is a bright spark and Deborah Moore is a complete delight. The cast look like they are having a good time together. Then there's a clever little cameo by John Cleese along with Jenny Seagrove. The episodic plot is filled with twists and turns, as the characters bicker, find themselves being outsmarted, double-crossed and in some sort of dangerous predicament. While the board script is wittily madcap, if downright low-brow. Director Winner's arrant handling (odd camera angles) perfectly paints a local flavour to the surroundings, but the snappy comic timing can be messy and tiredly relying on the on-going gags ("What did they say?"). "Bullseye!" maybe lame, but joyfully crazy and loud comedy hokum.

"They say everybody in the world has someone somewhere who looks like they do".

Winner really has hit the jackpot with this Bullseye!

The idea of pitting a good Moore & Caine against their evil counterparts can only be described as a stroke of genius. They act out both parts with the kind of style and charisma you would expect from these screen legends. They play off one another beautifully and you can't help being entertained.

Surely this was the film that they were both destined to be in, for them this is what acting is all about.

You have to credit Winner for the way in which he has drawn out such stirling performances from his two stars. They have not only cemented their megastar status here but have surely passed into the realm of screen legends. Class just oozes from their every pore.

This must surely go down as Winners 'Piece De Resistance' this is top drawer directing and you know eeeeeeeet.

If you haven't seen this film, make it top of your 'must see' list.

Also why not get 'Parting Shots' starring Chris 'Monkey' Rea it's doomsick tribes.

Pairing Roger Moore and Michael Caine must have thought to be a great Idea. Probably inspired by The Man Who Would be King, where Caine was paired with another ex-Bond, Sean Connery. Bullseye didn't have benefit of larger scale epic-like canvass of TMWWBK, as it didn't want itself to be taken seriously. Did Bullseye work?

Yes and No (God, we all hate this kind of answer). No, because most of the time, the jokes fall flat on the face. Yes, because Caine and Moore (as usual) are always great to watch. They play a pair of conmen and a pair of treacherous scientists. Keep an eye on Moore, always known as a great ad-libber. Unfortunately only this two guys are the only reasons to watch the movie.

Bullseye takes the premise of impersonating (this time two of them) and adds twist and turn, moving from a caper flick to espionage. While it tries hard to be a comedy, most of the time you see some humourless farce in an inconsistent progress. I quickly lost interest in the story during the first half an hour and just sat through the rest watching the dynamic duo of England. Being a Bond fan, I was especially delighted to see Moore playing off his Bond persona, even throwing lines like, `For England'. Ring a bell, Bond-fans?

There is Sally Kirkland, who provides some personal agenda to the ageing conmen, while also providing a bit of flesh here and there. She looks positively old and attractive at the same time. But her character does nothing much but to be in between Moore and Caine, and helping them with their con. That's all.

I checked out Michael Winner's (the director) past record, and was surprised to note that he directed the more seroius films like the Death Wish films and The Big Sleep (a supposedly sequel of Farewell, My Lovely). While the former was successful in its own way, the latter killed nostalgic-noir delight began by Farewell, My lovely. He later went on to direct many bombs, and regarded generally as a horrible director. Wonder how he managed to find job for so long. It is so evident in this film. Whether it's him, the script or his crew, the movie failed to amuse many at that time; it will still fail to amuse many now. Bullseye is something the film couldn't achieve.

Oh dear. I'm a big fan of Mr Caine and Mr Moore, and to be honest those two in the lead roles are the only reason to watch the film. Anyone lesser would have made it an utter waste of time.

The film is hackneyed with an incomprehensible plot. Films based on 'doubles' are always dodgy, so much so that even in the 30s it was considered bad plotting to use them in detective stories. At some points in the film I just didn't know who was meant to be whom, and by the time of the second 'double cross' I just lost interest.

While Caine and Moore were at times hilarious ('I come from a broken home...')a lot of the jokes and effects made me cringe. The scene where the train porter gets his head blown off had me rewinding to see if my eyes had not deceived me. That has to be the worst special effect for many years!

I also found the very obvious pitching of the film to the American audience patronising in the extreme. Tourist shots of London, Highland Games, stately homes, stuffy clubs, 'punk' taxi drivers and an unconvincing portrayal of the Queen - all this type of thing was being done far better and with greater irony by the Comic Strip team years before.

So don't expect a great plot or gags but if you like Caine and Moore, it's worth watching - just.