The Boneyard

Detective Jersey Callum (Ed Nelson) and his dimwit partner Gordon (Jim Eustermann) coax troubled 300 lb. psychic Alley Oates (Deborah Rose) out of retirement when a series of unexplained homicides start adding up. Clues lead the trio to a mortuary one night where the dead bodies of three Asian children are resurrected into slime-spewing ghouls who trap the principal characters in the basement and go on a gory killing/possession spree.

After a slowwwww start (and a "huh?" flashback that is SUPPOSED to explain things), this really picks up and becomes a nifty little horror comedy with a good sense of humor, attempts at characterization and some surprisingly cool comic book-style FX (like a giant mutant poodle!). Good supporting roles for veteran character actors Nelson, Norman Fell (as a mortician with a ponytail) and Phyllis Diller (as the cranky night desk clerk who transforms into a creature that will make your eyes pop out of your head!). The director also scripted and did the FX for this fun feature.

A great B-horror flick if I may add first of all. This movie stands on it's own ground as slick, original, and creepy. The acting could be a little better, and there could have been more violence but overall this movie is a sure classic.

The writter/director of the movie (James Cummins) is not bad at his work. But if you purchase this movie on DVD and listen to the Audio Commentary or the Exclusive Interview you will hear James Cummins say "And um....." about a hundred times.

I haven't seen any copies out there for rental but if you do see it, rent it. A great midnight movie for everyone. 7/10 stars.

Somewhat a forgotten kooky 90s zombie low-budget horror film that seems loosely inspired, tonally and set-up wise at least, by Return of the Living Dead. Slow to get going, real slow and mainly set in the one location; the graveyard shift at a mortuary on its last legs. However during the slow first half of nonsensical story exposition, and drawn out character exchanges. I actually found the character banter (by a stellar cast) rather amusing, especially Phyllis Diller's bark (which could be more ferocious than her poodle) and Ed Nelson's deadpan reactions to keep you engaged before the ludcrious thrills and ghoulish FX finally breaks out. And when it does, it doesn't disappoint.

Trapped inside with creepy rotting, and gooey zombie kids (from an age-old curse) munching away on corpses that suddenly turns into some wild, and goofy mutated monster fun. Maybe at times low-scale in its excitement and gets you wanting more than what's presented by rushing through the mayhem, but the imagery (FX I mean) is indeed a sight to behold... permed muscle-bound monster poodle anyone?

P.s. Diller's stunt double diving over a table in a grey wig won't be fooling anybody... that moment made me chuckle.

You gotta love this flick. I found this movie on the "under 10 bucks" shelf at my local Suncoast Video. Just seeing the cover with the Evil demonic looking poodle was enough to claim it, after all I am one of many who love these types of movies. I mean, c'mon.....Phyllis Diller, Norman Fell!!?? , teaming up with a bunch of no names actors in a small town, in some rinky dink morgue, fighting undead children and event- ually a giant, insane, demonic pooch? This is f***ing great! It just does'nt get any better than this in the B movie world folks! This is Grade A, b horror material. So typical, I mean who would ever THINK we would see Phillis Diller and Mr. Roper together in this cheesefest? One time popular actors resorting to making low budget horror at at the end of there dwindiling careers...again, SO TYPICAL.The movie was good, remedial acting, good make up and special effects, and at some points, really creepy (those freaky zombie kids). The plot was absoloutly rid- iculous as well. All together GOOD GORE, GOOD FUN, GOOD FLICK. A must see for B horror buffs!

Back in the day, during the VHS rental period, when you could walk down isle after isle, genre after genre, seeing all types of unknown flicks, you'd always happen to walk by one more than the other. Or just notice one a tad more than the others because of the ridiculous covers. The Boneyard happened to be one of these movies for me. And it took me over a decade to finally see the evil, grinning poodle movie. Well, that was my impression anyways.

The Boneyard revolves around a psychic woman, a charismatic detective and his wet-behind the ears partner who team up with a morgue crew to stop some ancient supernatural evil......demons. To stop demons.

The Boneyard more or less succeeds in a being a pretty good horror flick. With surprisingly good music (which you should notice right away), some over-the-top acting which makes you smile more than roll your eyes, and some very fun make-up effects. Though, The Boneyard does have problems taking itself serious during emotional scenes, and the tension builders take too long and eventually grow tiresome instead of frightening. I also would have appreciated a little more violence/gore. But no biggie it seemed they spent most of their cash on the make-up effects which were definitely cool.

Another thing this movie has going for it is the hero. Or should I say, heroine. I'm actually one who is very much annoyed by all the horror flicks these days that are riddled with skinny, gorgeous women who by bullsh!t chance survive the unbelievable. In the Boneyard it's a tad different, even though our main character is a woman, she's a very overweight and average looking woman. It worked, it was unique, funny and it's something I really appreciated seeing.

With The Boneyard delivering some fun running around, some cool effects and a nice score it made for a pretty enjoyable 90 minutes. Definitely give it a look if you're looking for a clear-your-mind and enjoy type horror flick. Oh, being a big fan of horror movies would suit you well.