Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh

Do you like B movies? REALLY like B movies? This is the one for you! If you prefer to watch REAL FILMS, don't bother. I doubt the Academy ever watched this one, and they certainly wouldn't be nominating it for any awards.

A twisted comedy/thriller (listed as horror, but thriller seems more appropriate), this flick -- I dare not call it a FILM -- was refreshing, like a spring rain. Think Naked Gun on a low, LOW budget. Serial killer, brutal murders of prostitutes (with the most enticing weapon selections), a cop who vomits at the sight of blood, AND a porn star (Jane Hamilton as dull-witted roller-skating waitress Grace) . . .

There's no point in discussing cinematography; I'm guessing film-school camera work and editing. Better than Blair Witch, not as good as Suspiria. Acting is mediocre, but at a level appropriate to the genre.

Keep your eyes open for occasional sight gags, and your ears open for the one-liners. Corny sometimes, but again, appropriate to the genre. A few good laughs, some pretty good gore (much more convincing blood than Argento uses), and a fun plot twist.

If I've learned one thing from this movie, it is: If you are a prostitute, and your trick brings a generator, run. Fast.

This film is a waste of 90 minutes of your life. Originally titled "Picking Up The Pieces". The production values are terrible, the acting is horrendous, the characters unlikeable and the story is lame. For God's sake, one of the leads is Jane Hamilton (aka porno star Veronica Hart) and does she bare any flesh? Heck no.

This film is promoted as a black comedy but the script is so unfunny that it fails this category. The gore scenes are so amatuerish that Tom Savini must have used the entire SFX budget on the one good effect (a flesh ripping scene.) Pittsburgh offers so many great locations and none are used in this film. The music is cheesy. Don't get me wrong-this movie is not one of those so-bad-it's good flix. This is a stinker thru and thru. When you're laying on your deathbed you'll wish you had this 90 minutes back.

My review was written in May 1991 after watching the movie on Paramount video cassette.

The cutesy title fronts for an occasionally amusing horror/comedy mishmash. Pittsburgh is the locale, and Tom Savini provides some gruesome makeup effects for diehard fans.

Direct-to-video release was produced in 1988 with the title "Picking Up the Pieces". That monike more accurately reflects a case surprisingly similar to "The Silence of the Lambs", as Pittsburgh cops are trying to apprehend a serial killer who mutilates women and keeps body parts for some strange ritual.

In a parody of a down-on-his-luck detective, Jake Dengel is the policeman with no stomach for his job. He calls in his former partner from Las Vegas who has expertise in this area, but the crony's daughter, spunky Susann Fletcher, shows up instead to assist.

Key clue of notes containing hieroglyphics, left on the corpses, leads to a cult working on eternal life via an ancient Egyptian formula. Porno veteran Jane Hamilton (a/k/a Veronica Hart) has fun as the slapstick villainess. Rest of the cast is nondescript.

Filmmaker Daan Tschetter's mix of gore and yocks strains, the equation that exaggerated blood equals black humor. Savini fans may get something out of this one but as "Silence" proved, this material is better off played straight.

Strange movie, part slasher, part parody, part detective story. The idea of mad killer murdering people and keeping bloody souvenirs in order to satisfy bloodlust of ancient Egyptian god is somewhat reminiscent of H.G.Lewis' Blood Feast (of course, Fuad Ramses didn't use power tools). The director borrowed a few ideas from various horror movies and tried to create crazy combination of black humor and thrills, but it is obvious that he wasn't too familiar with the genre. Mr. Tschetter mentions The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or films by H.G.Lewis as the main inspirations for Picking Up The Pieces in the commentary track of Bloodsucking Pharaohs DVD. He also talks about being shocked when he first watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and when he found out that such movies as Herschell's gore epics really existed. Picking Up The Pieces is a horror comedy as directed by an artist usually involved in producing Shakespearian theater plays.It is professionally shot and occasionally amusing but most jokes don't work. Blocker and Birdwell- two cops with lots of personal problems trying to catch insane murderer, are quite interesting duo- Blocker throwing up each time he glimpses blood and Birdwell provoking his buddy by mentioning Blocker's embarrassing sexual problem. Some parts of the movie are played out completely serious, other parts that could be taken from Naked Gun or Airplane!, for example the flashback scene explaining Blocker's trauma from the past, don't seem to fit in the film. The violence is quite tame,but the DVD is surprisingly cut by MPAA although killings consist of shots of murderer manipulating with power saw (or some other tool) and shots of splashing blood. Tom Savini provided one rubber corpse with the top of the cranium sawed off and one neat melting scene. During the final showdown between cops and the killer even good old chainsaw makes an appearance. Unfortunately, nobody is hacked to pieces.

No pun intended - I had no idea what I was getting myself into. And some may feel the movie had no idea what it was supposed to be either. I think it is fair to say, that the movie is as silly and cheesy as it can be. And quite bloody overall - although deleted scenes on the disc I own suggest it could have been worse/better (depending on your own taste I reckon).

The scene with the hat quite early on will be an indicator if you can bare it - do you like the humor (silly - I repeat: Silly!) or do you find it annoying as it can get? This will inform if you should continue watching. If you can dig it, there is some fun to be had along the road of course. An oddity I had no idea existed ...