Blonde Fist

On my way to work I once passed a pair of teenaged girls engaging in a furious fight which revealed a capacity for aggro by the opposite sex that came to mind when I saw 'Blonde Fist'.

Margi Clarke is in her element as a chain smoking Scouse blonde bullet whose bright red lipstick matched her nails who turns her pent-up anger and frustration to financial advantage by joining the fight game.

The cartoonish credits are reflected by the nature of the violence that follows. Despite a couple of nostalgic black and white flashbacks to the 1950s depicting the early days of Clarke the bulk of the action takes place in 199 (complete with a woman wearing an anti-Poll tax teeshirt) which from today's perspective is almost as remote an era (as attested to by the fact that cast member Carroll Baker is now 92).

I was reacquainted with Blonde Fist a couple of weeks ago thanks to Talking Pictures TV; I only have a vague memories of this film's release back in 1991 - it was concieved, I assume, as a star vehicle for flavour of the then moment Margie Clarke, who was on something of a roll following an impressive turn on the long neglected (and unfairly so) social drama 'Making Out'.

Written and directed by her brother, co-starring her sister, Blonde Fist soon sank without trace. Drably shot and sluggish paced, the story seems to take forever to get going; Margi Clarke tries, but she is uncomfortable as she is unconvincing in the leading role - hampered by an unfunny script that's stuck between the far superior Boys From The Back Stuff, or an overlong episode of the dreadful Liverpool based situation comedy Bread, and a supporting cast of sanctimonious bullies and clichéd stereotypes.

Give this one a miss - it flopped for a good reason; the only point of note is an early appearance by Stephen Graham, and a small role for veteran Scottish actress Julie Graham; both made a better ''fist' of their careers than Margi ever did...and neither of them were related.

This is one of my favourite films of all times. I've watched it dozens of times. The plot of the film is probably less important than the brilliant one-liners and cameos, although maybe you have to be British to understand the subtle but incandescently funny subtexts that run through the whole film.

Margi is an excellent actress although I guess her in depth experience of the Liverpool psyche means she was playing a role that was kind of like just being herself a lot of the time maybe?

You have to realise that not all the lines are meant literally. Like in the fight scene at the beginning of the programme (has me in stitches every time I watch it). The wonderful Margi Clarke gets fisty cuffs with the superb actress Tina Malone. Tina warns Margi "Now GIT... Before I throw a bucket of p&*^ss water over ya". This is a classically hilarious line. Please don't construe from this that all people in Northern England keep a bucket of urine water handy, ready to throw over aggressive strangers.

:)

A

This film requires few words of commentary. The plot is laughable, the script dismal and the acting appalling. However, as a Liverpudlian myself, I have rarely felt as embarrassed as I was by Margi Clarke's grotesque performance. She makes a laughing stock of Liverpool people. A dud without equal.

This is probably the worst film of all time. Margi Clarke not to be outdone is also the worst actress of all time, so quite a good fit. Honestly it is terrible.