Blood Massacre

This long shelved ( filmed sometime in the mid 1980s ) shot-on-video horror begins with Cinemagic Visual Effects logo staying on screen seemingly endlessly, while mashing down random keys on a low quality synthesiser, before crummy 80s music from no-name bar band. Everything in this opening scene in the bar is filmed in close-up, and with a fog machine being used to simulate smoky atmosphere, making it difficult to follow what is going on, or to notice the cash register, which is seemingly left over from an old western from the 1940s. Lead guy then orders " Beer ". Not, for example, a Heineken ( my preference ) , he just orders a beer. I love it when a movie does this, as though there is only one single type of beer on Earth.

" 🍺 "

After drinking his * beer * , bar guy kills people, later meets up with a trio of thugs, they debate what to do next. " I don't give a f***, let's just do something! ". Indeed.

So, they rob a video store! While wearing their Kim Carnes '81 Tour shirts, with a Freddy Krueger standee watching, these morons rob a mom and pop video store, and kill one​ person in the process. The entire robbery sequence is silent, with more terrible, almost comical, music dubbed in.

Later, a witness by the name of Captain Obvious tells police, the killers are " gonna hurt somebody! " , after they've already committed murder.

The Last House On The Left plot elements kick in, as the quartet of killers hold up in farmhouse with a family held hostage, but the hostages turn out to be cannibalistic killers, more dangerous than the original quartet of killers, and the family hunts them down and kills them one by one, in slightly gory fashion.

Film then switches gears, and becomes a wilderness survival horror in final fifteen minutes, as the original killer bar guy is the only survivor, ( making the presence of the other three villain characters completely pointless ) and he must fight for his life in the woods, against this cannibal family.

This film then features one of the most baffling, " What the f***? " plot twists I've ever seen, as the cannibal family peels their flesh off, to reveal not only are they cannibalistic killers, but also unkillable skeletal aliens!

* speechless *

First of all, what an amazing title. B-movie titles never really get subtle, but Don Dohler is playing in a whole different ballpark here. A blood massacre, that's the best kind there is!

Don Dohler is mainly known for making the same movie over and over again: an alien lands on Earth (usually a forest, as it is free to shoot there), gets into all kinds of PG-rated havoc, rednecks fire guns, the end. That synopsis fits "Alien Factor", "Nightbeast", "Galaxy Invader" and uhm... "Alien Factor 2". "Blood Massacre" however, is something completely different you don't exactly associate with Dohler. It's an ultra-violent horror movie where most of the cast members die horrible, gory deaths.

The plot is almost non-existent. A group of violent criminals (led by Dohler regular George Stover)goes from town to town robbing and occasionally murdering people. With the police (well, one inspector) hot on their trail they lay low in a farmhouse, but it's a horror movie so naturally the nice, friendly family inside turns out to be cannibals.

As limited a filmmaker as Don Dohler was, I've got to say this is one of his best movies. The suspense is actually build up pretty well, with the old farmhouse gradually revealing its secrets. It helps that Robin London (who, sure enough, only has one credit) gives a genuinely creepy performance as the family's insane daughter. Her bizarre sex scene with Stover is the highlight or the low point of this movie, I haven't decided yet. The minute you see her smirk at the main characters, you know they're in a heap of trouble.

The final act is obviously a battle between both groups, like "The Hills Have Eyes" with a budget of three dollars. Sadly, it's almost impossible to follow. For most of it the screen is almost completely dark, so you really have to squint to figure out which character you're looking at and whether or not they're being killed. The editing is also very confusing, most of the time you don't know when or where the action is supposedly happening. I do really like the random ending though, which borrows more than a few things from "Evil Dead".

Don Dohler wasn't very happy with this movie, which was released four years after shooting had wrapped up. He had to reshoot a lot of stuff at the distributors' request, which made him quit film-making altogether for nearly a decade. With that said, I really have a sweet spot for this movie in all it's micro-budget glory. It's a charming mom&pop-style slasher, just don't expect anything more than that.

Blood Massacre (1991)

** (out of 4)

Four punks rob a video store (hey kids, remember them?) and kill the owner's daughter. They decide to hide out in a farm house but they don't realize these farmers are actually blood thirsty cannibals.

Director Don Dohler made some interesting science fiction films in his career. He's certainly a rather interesting director but this film here is completely different than his earlier ones. What is most interesting about this film is the various production issues, which you can read about on various sites. There were basically two different movies shot, one sold illegally and then the director released what he had on his own.

As far as the film itself goes, there are elements of both THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT as well as THE Texas CHAIN SAW MACCARE. The director was obviously trying to cash in on the success of the slasher boom but by 1991 the boom was already dead so this was being released to a rather empty market. The film does have a few memorable moments that keep it from being a total waste but at the same time there's just nothing here original enough or fresh enough to hold the viewers interest.

I will say that I enjoyed the setting of the picture and the low- budget nature actually worked well with the story itself. Another plus is that there was a good finale with some nice gore but there's no question that the film needed more of it. The criminals were all rather annoying but the cannibal family were slightly interesting. As you can see, the film has some good but some bad as well and in the end it's a decent watch but that's about it.

All I can say about this film is why has it not yet been remastered at put to blueray?. It's such a blast to watch this bloody fun unique horror film. I love the twists and how much awesome practical effects were used. It's got the whole crazed veteran thing, robberies, murder, cannibalism, home invasion, survival, twists, turns, blood, comedy. Man it's just great. I can't understand a bad review for this. It has so much going for it in such a short time. There are no full dragging points in this film. 2 million stars is my rating for this campy amazing blood soaked film!. Now please put this to blueray because it's a work of pure genius.

After committing a series of crimes, a group of deranged criminals hiding out from the police take over a remote house in the countryside from a family living inside, but as they spend time in their presence realize that there's something off about the family and must try to get away from them alive.

For the most part, this one was quite a charming low-budget effort. One of the better features here is the films' rather enjoyable setup that serves as a solid twist to the home invasion genre. With the early part of the film featuring the concurrent build-ups of the gang going on their rampage either through the encounter at the bar or the video-store hold-up as well as getting to see the family's life on the farm, there's a fun sense of who the characters are and the quirkiness to each group that's highly enjoyable. Once the criminals are forced on the run and encountering the daughter which brings them all together at the fateful farmhouse, everything comes together in fine form with the way they overtake the house and start to impose their way on the family all works nicely to the films' benefit. When this one turns around and flips everything around into the psycho family letting their secret loose on the criminals, there's a demented sense of fun to the way everything turns on its head. The full reveal of everything about them, from the way they all act and behave to the rather brutal sense of encounters shown here where the psychotic family is shown to attack and kill off the intruding psychopaths one-by-one in a frenzied final half that's non-stop carnage, this twist provides a lot to like. While it's painfully obvious that there's something off from the start about them, that doesn't stop the chases and means through which they all battle each other to a wild and unexpected finish that provides the goods in terms of shocking reveals and low-budget gore. However, there are still some issues to be had here. The main factor is the films' inherent cheapness which is painfully obvious from the very beginning with the general look of the film giving away its low-budget origins. Granted, some of that is through no fault of the film itself considering the production process it went through but that's still an issue to overcome for some considering the amount of crazy kills on display, the single-location setup, and the production that makes it incredibly difficult to make out night-time shots because of the darkness obscuring everything. The other factor here is that the over-the-top finale, with several strange twists and unexpected reveals that don't connect to what's going on in the rest of the film, which all hold this one down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.