State Park, la course sauvage

I recently watched State Park (1988) on Tubi. The storyline centers on a businessman who plans to build a factory and dump waste in a local state park. A man in a bear costume, along with a group of random teenagers who wander into the woods, band together to stop him.

The film is co-directed by Kerry B. Feltham (Chicago 70) and Rafal Zielinski (Fun), and stars Kim Myers (A Nightmare on Elm Street 2), Isabelle Mejias (Scanners II), James Wilder (Zombie High), and Walter Massey (Zombie Nightmare).

This felt like a low-budget knockoff of Meatballs Part II. The man in the bear costume was bizarre, and Ted Nugent's cameo didn't quite land-it felt more like a gimmick than a memorable moment. The movie is full of classic '80s summer camp hijinks: not especially creative, but filled with the usual tropes-attractive young women, gratuitous nudity, and slapstick humor. As expected, it all leads to a climactic series of games to "save the park," and to be fair, the final games were genuinely fun and entertaining.

In conclusion, State Park is a campy, unoriginal '80s summer comedy that leans heavily into the era's cheesy charm. I'd give it a 5/10.

In 1988, this would've been a three at best, but because it is so gloriously 1980's, it's a five here from 2024.

So hard to believe this film is almost forty years old.

It does have one of the most 1980's movie scenes ever in the recorded history of film, ever!

In one continuous shot, a dude about to dive into a lake, strips off his jeans and (in all seriousness) reveals that underneath it all, he's wearing cutoff jean shorts, yes, jorts!!!

He's like, I'm jumping in there, hold up, unzips, pulls off the tight jeans he was already wearing, and right underneath, even together jorts!!!

And then he dives into the lake!!

Amazing!!!

Of course this film is silly and meaningless.

Eighties stereotypes reign supreme.

The geeks and nerds.

The glam metal made up punks.

The dumb jocks.

The pretty sorority type girls.

But they should've called this Provincial Park as this appears to have been filmed in Quebec.

Oui, it's true!

And the story is about white dudes in suits (who else?) inexplicably wanting to dump toxic waste at the provincial, I mean, state park.

An unknown vigilante in a bear suit keeps sabotaging their progress.

The girls are pretty.

Their hair and makeup obviously of that time.

Oh, and Ted Nugent is in this!!

He really is!!

Even one of his songs is in it.

I would've seen him in concert around this time with .38 Special!!

But I've never heard of this film.

It's not a bad day at the park.

It's just a way better time warp.

No way!

Way.

Whole lot of fashion victims got together and filmed a movie so terrible the refused to put it in videohound books and so 1980s that it is shocking the word ozone is not mentioned. On the other hand it has some very decently looking actresses, teases us with just enough nudity to barely..... just barely hold our attention, throws in ted nugent because...... reasons, and surrounds the whole silly affair with a lunk headed dumb plot about corporations, toxic waste, and environmental concerns. There's also a heavy metal band in the spirit of KISS camping (do people like that ever feel the need to go camping?) lessons about not judging people, some sort obstacle course race at the end and you sitting in your living room having just lost half an IQ point that you'll never recover no matter how many times you read A Brief History of Time. But the tits are nice....

"State Park" aka "Heavy Metal Summer" (with the former title being the best pick) was a Canadian comedy I've never even heard of before and it pretty much languishes in obscurity. However I feel that's undeserved. Sure I wouldn't call it memorable, as it's framed with conventional and goofy shenanigans, but it remains a surprisingly enjoyable and unassumingly breezy time-waster for its over-flooded sub-genre. While quite minor, it does deliver on the playful goods for a teen camp outing -- stereotypical characters springing up (always got a laugh out of the two clueless blonde beef heads), loud music (with a lively soundtrack), amusing dialogue exchanges, a moral to the antics, nothing but sunny weather, picturesque wilderness scenery, frequent nudity (topless shots and bare asses), a special neat cameo appearance (Ted Nugent jamming!) and someone (who's pretty easy to guess) in a bear costume called Willy (with quite a creative mind) fighting for the good of Weewankah State Park against a corrupt businessman who wants to turn it into a pesticide factory. How can you not find something to like? The spirited performances are all quite fun led by the likes of the beautiful and bubbling trio of Kim Myers (A Nightmare on Elm Street 2), Isabelle Mejias (Meatballs III: Summer Job) and Jennifer Inch. James Wilder and Peter Virgile are likable enough in their roles. Then you got Walter Massey and Brian Dooley superbly crafting out the characters you love to hate. A token, but pleasing and odd screwball blast.

This isn't a bad film but that doesn't mean it's good. It's really a cash grab of sorts, trying to come in on the success of other like films, especially with Rafal Zielinski's connection to Roger Corman in the 80's. There's a summer vibe energy, the actors did a fair job (many, not all), the soundtrack won't be memorable but it's fun. For its era, I'm sure the eco-warrior angle was popular but it doesn't age well at all. I'm sure there's enough of a market still for boobs and sex romps but it's definitely an eye rolling tactic. The overly horny hair stylist and the ever-pursuing horndog little brother definitely screamed 80's cringe. I would have loved to see a heavier metal scene or two, but bringing in Ted Nugent was fun.