Snake Eater

Now, I've seen a lot of bad movies. I like bad movies. Especially bad action movies. I've seen (and enjoyed) all of Jean-Claude Van Damme's movies, including the one where he's his own clone, both of the ones where he plays twins, and all three where he's a cyborg. I actually own the one where he plays a fashion designer and has a fight in a truck full of durians. (Hey, if nothing else, he's got a great ass and you almost always get to see it. With DVD, you can even pause and zoom in!) That's why you can trust me when I say that this movie is so bad, it makes Plan 9 look like Citizen Kane.

Everything about Snake Eater is bad. The plot is bad. The script is bad. The sets are bad. The fights are bad. The stunts are bad. The FX are bad. The acting is spectacularly, earth-time-bendingly bad, very probably showcasing the worst performance of every so-called actor in the cast, including Lorenzo Lamas, and that's really saying something. And I'd be willing to bet everyone involved with this movie is lousy in bed, to boot. ESPECIALLY Lorenzo Lamas.

It does manage to be unintentionally funny, so it's not a total loss. However, I recommend that you watch this movie only if you are either a congenital idiot or very, very stoned. I was able to sit through it myself because I needed to watch something to distract me from rinsing cat urine out of my laundry.

It didn't help much, but it was better than nothing. One point for Ron Palillo's cameo as a gay arsonist.

As an action film that one would pay to see in the theatres, yikes!!! This movie is incompetent on almost every level - BUT....for those of us who enjoy cheesy bad movies - this one is a winner. REAL bad acting, there is a guy who plays the "funny" sidekick cop to Larry Csonka, legendary Miami Dolphins running back, no less. And this guy's performance is so bad, so over the top, he makes the Dead End Kids look subtle. Lamas (who I'm sure is gorgeous to the gals) is one of the most "dead-eyed" actors I've ever seen. It is a simple revenge flick - where Lamas' parents are killed by crazed rednecks (plus they kidnap his sister - who gives a truly awful, amateurish performance). The dangerous psycho hillbillies have to be seen to be believed - talk about scenery chewing. Sheesh. Any film that has hillbillies torture people by putting them in big fluffy sleeping bags and hanging them from a tree - well, how can you not watch??

the reviewers on this site who call this horrible, are wrong. One of my buds had told me about this being good so i checked it out here and all the reviews said it was bad. I was hesitant to watch it but finally did and i liked it. Most of the acting was bad and the writing wasn't perfect, but i still enjoyed it. This film is like earlier 80's films like death hunt and first blood, a veteran in the woods getting chased by a bunch of people. Lorenzo Lamas' character as Soldier is like stallone's rambo, he uses traps that he makes to defeat the rednecks which i think is an original set of villains as these movies go. Some of the film was cheesy but enjoyable. Its not perfect, but its a good film that doesn't focus on loads of violence, let me note that there was only one shoot em up action scene in this movie.

Lorenzo Lamas stars as Jack `Solider` Kelly an ex-vietnam vet and a renegade cop who goes on a search and destroy mission to save his sister from backwoods rednecks. Atrocious movie is so cheaply made and so bad that Ron Palillo is third billed, and yet has 3 minutes of screen time, and even those aren't any good. Overall a terrible movie, but the scenes with Lorenzo Lamas and Josie Bell hanging from a tree bagged and gagged are worth a few (unintentional) laughs. Followed by an improved sequel.

Imagine this catches your attention because you're a fan of the Michael Dudikoff American Ninja movies and you think this could be right up there with those really well written & produced gems😆

But this movie promises some fancy fighting and maybe some super clever commando trickery, so you say "yeah, this could be fun", in a super low budget kind of way.

However, the only possible redemption is if you're high, with friends and you want a movie full of zero acting talent, terrible stunts, 4th grade dialogue, 3rd grade plot, stupidity that makes what you think is stupid - look good, and close-up zooms of Lorenzo Lamas' hairy stomach, to make fun of for 90 minutes.

But standby, because they made sequels!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!