Ninja Commando Kids

this movie sucks. i remember watching it when i was about 12 years old, and i didnt like it then. i thought that it'd be like the 3 ninjas movies - which kept me entertained as a kid. but it didnt deliver.

my fondest memory of this movie was when one of the ninjas is stumbling in the bushes doing some bad acting, when he looks to his side and sees the neighbours - a nudist colony. there were naked breasts bouncing all over the screen - the women were playing volleyball. hey, i was a 12 year old. but i remember that it had a PG rating, and my mom was shocked to see what i was watching. har har: she should see the stuff i watch now.

the plan: go to all rental stores, purchase their copy and melt it away. that is, if they haven't already sold it for $1.50 to get some space for a movie someone will rent.

This movie is by far the worst I have ever seen. Don't get me wrong, I love slapstick, I can even confess liking Police Academy. But this?

The basic story, some kids join a "Dojo" to become marshall arts masters. Of course they mess up. The director's been following the blueprint on how to make a slapstick comedy.

don't see it, never, noway, nohow...please..

My review was written in July 1990 after watching the film on Quest Entertainment video cassette.

A mild entry in the ongoing trainee film sweepstakes (e.g., "Police Academy"), this direct-to-video feature includes enough gags and pretty girls to prove diverting.

Motley cast members assemble at Gerald Okamura's martial arts academy to gain toughness, an update of traditional military academy films. Modern version features a coed dorm, spotlighting sexy blonde Kathleen Stevens, her pal Lisa LeCover and especially the bodacious instructor (Okamura's daughter) Kelly Randall. En route to a climactic battle with a rival school (just like in every Hong Kong kung fu film), the goofballs run through the usual antics, including spying on a neighboring nudist camp and mocking the obstacle course. Running gag has a James Bond type (he's named 007-11, working for M&M) who plays the entire film in his tuxedo as well as a mime who's consistently out of place.

Cast is enthusiastic in what amounts to an audition for bigger features. End credits reflect filmmaker Nico Mastorakis' fondness for in-jokes but are pretty lame.

Take a look at Mastorakis's amazing profile to top-notch films. he's right up there with Spielberg and QT. A whole 5/15 films have received an IMDB rating of above 4/10. thats just amazing.

dont rent this movie. its not even worth the $.50 that a CDR costs and the 1/2 hour it'll take to download it off the net. Mastorakis is a shining example of someone who doesnt deserve to be in any film industry. however, he does make a great target for self-respecting movie goers who can all come together to attack one person, instead of fighting over who hates kevin smith and roger ebert.

the people who gave this movie anything higher than a 3/10 must have either thought it was another ron jeremy epic. i laughed harder when bambi's mother died than i did at this movie. 1/10 because i cant give 0.

Rarely does one see a modern silent comedy, and one often wonders what one would be like. Well, this is pretty much it. Don't get me wrong, this is a VERY bad movie. But overall I found it enjoyable. The characters are SOOO absurd, and the attempts at humor are SOOO pathetic, one cannot help but laughing. This movie is so bad that MST3K couldn't make it any funnier, it's glaringly pathetic enough as is. As long as you don't take this movie at all seriously, I think you'll enjoy watching it.