Les hommes de ma vie

I had originally seen this film at the theater with my 1st wife, and didn't think much of it. Being the only other film directed by the guy who did "Risky Business" - I had higher hopes for the movie than what I came away with. Over the years, however, especially after my 1st wife passed away - I was haunted with memories of this film, as I saw my life mimic many of the actions of the principle characters. For someone who hasn't had to deal directly with grief, this film probably will seem like just an odd little film. But the actions taken by Jessica Lange, Chris O'Donnell and Charlie Korsmo are all perfect prototypes of how people deal with grief and denial. Director Paul Brickman does so in an understated way, so that the film seems more light-hearted than the message it conveys.

This is my absolute favorite movie. The quiet story of a young widow coping with the loss of her husband and a move to the big city is tender, humorous and hopeful. Fine performances by Jessica Lange, Chris O'Donnell (in his first screen role), Kathy Bates, Arliss Howard and Joan Cusack round out this film. Casting is perfect in every sense and the emotion of the movie is carried well by a haunting score. One of my favorite scenes has Lange arriving unannounced at Howard's home. Her sadness is palpable and his gift - a trip to the Polka hall, where she loses herself in a wild dance with a waitress, while he sits in with the band - is moving. There is such a sense of hope, generosity and goodness in this movie. It is not at all maudlin, or contrived. Just a wonderful exploration of the darkness of grief and unwelcome change, and the love and support sometimes found in unexpected places. There are also great comedic moments, chiefly involving O'Donnell and Cusack. See this movie!

Lange is her usual extraordinary self, especially in that part of the film depicting--quite aptly--the onset of acute depression. Cusack deserves her oscar nomination--manages expertly one of the most appealing characters you will ever see on screen. Comedy, romance, and everyday tragedy put together

in an affecting script that has few weak moments. If you are drawn to small films centered on human relationships that draw sniffles and chuckles of recognition and a welcome sigh of relief when it all turns out at the end, you will love this film.

Widow with two growing sons must become her family's breadwinner, keeping everyone's spirits up while dating again for the first time in many years. It doesn't surprise me that people have to see this picture twice or more to get into the movie's grooves. The handling is very focused, the writing gets us from A to Z smoothly enough, but the tone of "Men Don't Leave" is quirky, to say the least. Sometimes I wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. At times it seems to go overboard, other times it hits a perfect note yet doesn't follow through. Still, the overall effect of this movie is genuinely pleasurable. It's not a big, chancy movie with issues, it's quiet and small and heartfelt. There are little scenes of emotion that well up into big hurts (and disappointments like the lottery family that just KILL us), and all the acting is so wonderful, particularly Jessica Lange (a shaky tower of strength). I loved it when the German woman gets Jessica to dance, or when she gets a nosebleed while kissing Arliss Howard for the first time, or throwing all her muffins out the window while feigning basketball moves. And what about Kathy Bates as the boss from Hell? It's an erratic film (with a puzzling title), yet I admired it greatly, and it has stuck with me over all these years. ***1/2 from ****

It usually takes me two viewings of a film to decide whether I think it is a great film. The second that "Men Don't Leave" ended I knew it was a great film. It tells the story of a middle aged woman (Jessica Lange) who moves her two sons to Baltimore following the death of her husband. There she meets a quirky musician (Arliss Howard) and her older son starts dating an equally quirky x-ray technician (Joan Cusack). This film is by turns joyful and heartbreakingly sad and features sure-handed direction by Paul Brickman and a beautiful score by Thomas Newman who also scored "American Beauty". The performances are wonderful, most notably Jessica Lange's and Joan Cusack's. If you're looking for a wonderful family drama with comedic moments then "Men Don't Leave" is for you. One of the best films of the 1990's.