Dinosaur Island

As a collector and fan of B-movies, I'd have to put this one high on my most-valued list. It's literally overflowing with genre talent, most notably as a collaboration between two of the finest modern B-movie directors: Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray. Also, it's got a killer cast, featuring Michelle Bauer (HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS), Griffin Drew (BIKINI HOE DOWN), Richard Gabai (VIRGIN HIGH), Nikki Fritz (ATTACK OF THE 60-FOOT CENTERFOLD), and Antonia Dorian (BARE WENCH PROJECT). Sure, the jokes are cheesy. Sure, that "dinosaur" effect isn't quite Stan Winston quality. However, there's some things Hollywood can never duplicate, and that's the feel of a good B-movie with lots of scream queens. Here's hoping they never stop making movies like this.

A military plane carrying a hardnose officer bringing some deserters back for a court-martial crashes in the ocean. The survivors make their way to a deserted island, where they discover a tribe of semi-nude, large-breasted cavewomen and are menaced by a tyrannosaurus rex. That plot's been used in several movies from the '50s, but fortunately this movie has much more nudity than those films did. The women are gorgeous, most of them get naked, none of them can act (gee, what a surprise...), the special effects aren't as cheesey as one would expect from a Fred Olen Ray film. Altogether, I'd rate this 0 for acting, 0 for plot, 0 for a coherent script, 8 for gratuituous nudity. It's not a bad way to spend an hour or so on a Friday night with a six-pack. as long as you don't expect a whole lot. P.S.: If the T-Rex in this movie looks familiar, that's because it's the same one Corman used in his earlier movie, "Carnosaur."

in this Jim wynorski/Fred Olen ray co production,military police transporting misfit soldiers crash land on an uncharted prehistoric island,with rubbery dinosaurs and sexy busty cave girls,its silly stuff the special effects are pretty bad except for the t-Rex(some stock footage from carmosaur)the b-movie cast includes;Richard gabai,Ross hagen,Antonia Dorian,Becky lebeau,Michelle Bauer,Nikki fritz,and griffin drew.the cave girls speak perfect English and look very good in their prehistoric bikinis.its co produced by roger corman.dinosaur island is'nt bad,its entertaining if you overlook all the flaws.cornball all the way with some nudity,but who's complaining.sexy Nikki fritz is in the opening scene her body and face painted blue,look for all natural beauty;Becky Le beau as the Dino sacrifice.i may be crazy but ill give dinosaur island 6 out of 10.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

It's 10:00 p.m. on Friday night and I just had a shot of jack and finished off my third beer. This party is out of control! I just watched "Dinosaur Island" followed by an episode of "Black Tie Nights" on Cinemax. This couple was on a date and then they had sex. That's the show. Genius eh?

Speaking of genius, "Dinosaur Island" was a T&A spectacular. Three army guys crash land on the island of the prehistoric breast implants. They must prove themselves worthy of their big bouncy affection by slaying the really cheap dinosaur that prowls the island. The girls are confused by the new arrivals in their midst. "What is this thing you men call love?" The guys are ready to shed the cavegirl's clothes and get this party started on a Saturday night.

Once again, I must give praise where it's due. Michelle Bauer is the real deal. As the women pair off with the men, Michelle chooses the fattest loser to hook up with. She gives hope to all of us dorks out here every time she rips off her bra. Thank you Michelle for getting naked for us again. There are plenty of other women who take their tops off as well. So that's good too.

All of the dinosaur scenes were ridiculously cheap but I didn't mind. You don't think I actually watched this for the dinosaurs do you? Of course not. Anyway, "Dinosaur Island" is a good T&A flick. It's worth a look for B-movie lovers.

One last thing, keep an eye out for Nikki Fritz who shows up at the very beginning of the movie. I thought she looked familiar but I didn't realize it was her until after the credits rolled. She is the High Priestess who has her breasts painted blue and dances around like a stripper. Apparently the dinosaur is attracted to the human sacrifice by the hypnotic gyrations of cavewoman pole dancing.

The day after I saw this movie, I called my friend Cass in Florida and said "Cass, you have to see this movie." "It's that good?" "No, it's that bad!"

There is no better way to describe this movie. It has the audacity to say 'Dinos genetically bred and trained by' instead of 'SFX by' in the credits, and has the only drunken redneck T-Rex in history. (Of course he is, just look at that pot-belly)

I have to confess that I only rented the movie because it had Dinos and girls in leather bikinis, 2 things near and dear to my heart, but after about 20 minutes of watching, I actually put away my alcohol, turned off the computer game I was playing and restarted the movie so I could catch every last horrible, horrible detail.

For those that like 'So bad it's good' movies as I do, then this is the ultimate 'must-see' movie.

Steelblade