Police... secours!

One of the worst movies I've ever seen..kept flipping back and forth to another show. I watched it because I love Fran Drescher. I thought she was funny as 'let me feel you badge Velma' and Rosie O'Donnell was okay..but David Johanson was soooooo annoying with his voice. John C McGuinley cracks me up on Scrubs but not in this movie. Horrible horrible horrible. A rated R movie that ends with a mob guy yelling 'I want my mommy' is just the worst of the worst because thats a clichéd line from most PG movies. It provides no laughs for adults. Fran Drescher mustve done this before The Nanny got on the air because TN debuted the year before and anyone with their own sitcom wouldn't offer to do this piece of garbage. Anyone who glances at the script can tell its a bad movie..no one could've thought it would be a hit.

My mission as of late has been to watch every single film on the list of 100 worst movies ever made. Right now I have scratched off around 20, with this steaming pile of rotting filth being one of them. Make no mistake, Car 54 is one of the single worst movies to come out of Hollywood, or as I like to call it, Evil Town (creative name, no?). I violently protest any of the other posters who claimed that some parts of this movie were either "average" or (shudder) "funnny." Nothing in this movie works, from start to finish, and to save the sanity of others I will try and express who bad things get. The opening scene features a truly horrible song and dance number which is badly filmed with a soft glow technique and features a cartoon canary that at one point dresses up like a rapper (oh yeah, no racial stereotypes here, no sir). Then we discover that this was the dream of our main character, a goofy cop played by the single most irritating man on the planet. Seriously, his voice and silly putty face made me want to shoot someone when he started talking. We then get the opening credits as a crappy rap song is played, one where a single verse is repeated 3 TIMES. God, was that excruciating, considering that during this song I got supposedly "wacky" footage of the cops acting silly. The rest of the movie is populated with characters NO ONE could love, a barely existing plot that has no chance of being stretched over 90 minutes, and who knows what else. Honestly I couldn't stomach much of this trash, since most of the humor is either obvious or downright nasty. Obvious example: the policemen keep going to donut stores when they're supposed to be working. OH, HAR HAR HAR. Is that supposed to be funny in 1994, much less 2003? Plus the fact that the entire thing is horribly outdated by its fashion, soundtrack, and slang. This was back when rappers wearing giant clock necklaces was considered "hip," so you can imagine the amount of bad fashion choices spattered throughout this film. Rosie O' Donnel makes her film debut here, and she crashes and burns I'm happy to say. Nasty example: the main character actually has sex with Rosie O' Donnel while screaming, "Oooh! OOOOH! OOOOOOOH!" You can't know it by reading that, but he says it in a "comical" way. Trust me, it's just plain nauseating. AVOID CAR 54, WHERE ARE YOU IF YOU VALUE THE PURITY OF YOUR SOUL. 0/4 stars

That's right, a Comic Genius created "Car 54, Where Are You?" His name was Nat Hiken and he created the BRILLIANTLY FUNNY TV series. It deeply saddens me that this film was ever made as it serves only to detract from how incredibly wonderful the original TV show was. That said, PLEASE don't judge the TV show by this moronic movie. If you have a chance to see the show, do so! DON'T think to yourself "Well if the film was that bad, then the TV series must be even worse!" Quite the contrary. The TV version is one of the funniest half hours of entertainment ever created. Every episode is a comic gem. Every character is terrifically hilarious and memorable. So in closing, I'll simply urge you yo go out and hunt down VHS copies and hold a marathon with all of your closest friends. The original "Car 54, Where Are You?" deserves to be discovered by a new generation of fans. Enjoy! You won't be disappointed.

Everyone grows up with some cherished memories. One of mine was the T.V. series "Car 54, Where Are You?". It had a simple charm and the main characters Toody (Joe E. Ross) and Muldoon (Fred Gwynne) were gentle and the humour was good clean fun. Although they would mess things up at the beginning of each episode they would somehow get everything alright in the end without anyone getting into harm. Fred Gwynne's character (Muldoon) evoked sympathy and love from his viewers - especially children. With this in mind I got out the video of the movie remake of this series. What an absolute disgrace of a movie it turned out to be! The makers of this movie completely turned around the series two morally decent characters and made them into immoral fools. The key point of the T.V. series was that Muldoon was an innocent, naive policeman who did his job with a genuine love for those he served. The Muldoon in this movie remake is a repulsive character. The clean fun is also out in this remake. No wonder that this movie is listed by IMDb in its worst 100 movies of all time. It deserves it! The makers of this movie lost its main market (the nostalgics) by ignoring the behaviour standards of the original series. Not recommended!

The old t.v. show had its undeniable quirky charm. this should be self evident, otherwise a 2 season sitcom from 1961-63 would have been long forgotten, and no studio would have thrown a 1990's budget at so weak a concept as to make a movie of an obscure t.v. relic. But the people behind the film had no concept of what made this show stick in peoples' craw, and that was the ridiculous innocence and banality of the crimes that mediocre good guys Toody, Muldoon, etc. encountered and dealt with in the big, bad city of New York on an episode by episode basis. Making Muldoon a crusader, rather than an equally bumbling ineffectual creature like Gunther Toody obliterates the charm of the sitcom. The whole idea of anyone from the squad actually approaching a ":real" or "serious" crime kills the whole premise of "Car 54 Where are You?" This is a relic of a sheltered and surreally unrealistic time, and this attempt to have one foot in this world and another in the semi post-repression non reality of contemporary aesthetics just doesn't cut it. Besides that, this is a bad mess of a movie on all standards.