Witch Academy

This film is, without a doubt, the worst film in the history of the universe. Stay away from it, unless you want to be bored to the brink of death, and possible insanity.

How it is that someone could actually approve this script, shoot the film, edit it and then still have the audacity to think that anyone would actually enjoy it is really far beyond my own capacity to comprehend.

The only films that can come quite close to reaching the awful depths that this film managed to plow are The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D and The Rollerblade Seven.

I only bought this DVD because of Michelle Bauer, and I love it, it was a lot better than I expected, although anything with Michelle Bauer is never boring and is always funny... This flick has the four lead women naked several times, Priscilla and Michelle have the best one liners. Not horror, just comedy and the sexiest scream queens.

Members of an exclusive college sorority (where sadomasochism seems to rule the day) seek twisted new ways to humiliate a new pledge named Leslie Perkins (Veronica Carothers), who they feel will never, ever fit in since she's something of a nerd and a prude. However the Devil (as played by the one and only Robert Vaughn who struggles to maintain his dignity here) has other plans and helps transform Leslie into a bodacious babe smokin' as all Hell. Only why is the Devil helping Leslie? You just got to know he has ulterior motives in mind.

I went into this film with very low expectations. I had read and heard little positive about it online and elsewhere so I really didn't expect it to be all that good at all. Well, it proved better than I expected. For one thing, I felt the cast did a remarkable job. Despite nearly all the women having to go through the film in various states of undress (not that I'm complaining when the women look as good as they do in this film), they all seem to be particularly well-cast and each girl somehow manages to establish her own unique character within the frame of the story. Priscilla Barnes, Michelle Bauer, Suzanne Ager, Ruth Collins and Veronica Carothers each deserve credit for being far more entertaining and capable at slapstick comedy that I for one ever expected them to be able to pull off, especially Barnes. The movie is all in all a basic frat comedy spoof only with horror and fantasy elements thrown into the mix including of course Robert Vaughn's Devil character and a monster on the loose. It's not all that far removed from the Beach Party Horror movie spoofs (think GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI) of the 60s only there's loads more nudity on display here and a bit more palpable level of Horror and the spoof here seems to be based more squarely on the frat comedies of the 1980s.

If you are looking for intellectual stimulation from a film, look elsewhere. If you are looking for a movie that is plain FUN, look no further. Witch's Academy is a wicked romp with bountiful babes, inspired slapstick, and an exaggerated script that would fit in well with Li'l Annie Fannie strips published in Playboy during the 60s and 70s.

A notorious sorority known for S&M and Bondage (the "witch" connection is never established), is compelled to humiliate a new pledge who is honest and faithful (and a dweeb). Unknown to the sisters, The Devil has plans for her and her evil compatriots. Much of the fun is seeing each of the leads in various enticing outfits and in various stages of dress and undress (a HEAVILY edited version was shown on USA). The presence of cult icon Robert Vaughn is an asset, and shows that he has the gift of comedic timing. If you have not seen the Retromedia DVD, you have NOT really seen this film. There are worthwhile extras on the DVD...but the "Stills" section features several shots of another cult icon, cinematographer/director Gary Graver, whose name appears nowhere on the credits?!

Fred is a master of supplying the most on a limited budget. He has his roots in fandom, and knows what his audience wants.

Three evil sorority girls pledge a nerdy pledge into the Devil (in the form of Robert Vaughn) offers to turn her into a hot babe. And then the den mother (Three's Company's Priscilla Barnes) shows up and all hell breaks lose. Well OK, not ALL hell, but as much as this low-budget film could afford, which isn't much. Supposedly a comedy, but the laughs are few and far between. This movie was during the start of Fred Olen Ray's decline that started during the start of the '90s and gradually got worse and worse. Yes dear reader, they get worse than this one...MUCH worse.

My Grade:C-

DVD Extras: Commentary by Fred Olen Ray; Stills gallery; and Theatrical Trailer

Eye Candy: Suzanne Ager, Michelle Bauer, Veronica Carothers, and Ruth Collins all show ample flash