The Unnamable II: The Statement of Randolph Carter

This sequel to "The Unnamable" (1988) is actually a bit more interesting, as it's much more a mixture of things than the original was (it combines two Lovecraft stories this time, 'The Unnamable' & 'The Statement of Randolph Carter'). It flirts with quantum physics and other silly theories, even adding some comedic scenes to the events (which oddly enough do work). John Rhys-Davies is amusing as always, but lasts only half the movie. The always reliable David Warner has a cameo. Being a creature feature, the creature design (worn by actress Julie Strain) lives up to the expectations. The story picks up right after the events of the first film and meanders in slightly different directions this time. Just like the first film, which was much more a slasher-orientated effort, this sequel's hardly a masterpiece. But it's got some spirited moments, a handful of nasty kills and it remains a fun, entertaining watch nonetheless. The beautiful Maria Ford steals most of the show here, as she's walking around completely nude during half of the movie's running time. Furthermore, "The Unnamable II" stays true to the spirit of Lovecraft with a lot of amusing inside references to his works. So fans should be pleased, since a lot worse Lovecraft adaptations have been made throughout the years.

This sequel picks up directly where part one left off and finds the two main characters from the original film seperating the human half from the demon half of part one's monster. They flee with the human half, but the demon eventually escapes from her prison and seeks out the human part to her and killing anyone in her way. Sometimes exciting, sometime scary, slightly better then part one, but bland.

Rated R; Violence, Brief Nudity, and Profanity.

This might be the only Lovecraft movie sequel to actually adapt a Lovecraft story ("The Statement of Randolph Carter," which actually preceded "The Unnamable") and is a superior sequel. Well, I think it is superior since I can't remember liking THE UNNAMABLE that much (outside of some nice make-up). Stephenson is an unusual lead, a very intense nerd totally focused on his task at hand. Klausmeyer, who inexplicably sees his character renamed from Howard Damon to Eliot Damon Howard, is good as well. Completely underutilized David Warner slipped in for one day to shoot a scene as the college chancellor and Rhys-Davies might have been there for a couple of days. The film offers lots of gore and, again, the creature design is pretty damn spiffy. The real star, however, is b-movie actress Maria Ford. This might actually be her strongest acting role as the displaced 17th century girl (and I'm not saying that because she spends 50% of her screen time nude). Sadly, I decided to look her up online and she has had some horrific plastic surgery in the ensuing years.

I wanted to see what was out there for Lovecraft stuff to get in the mood for Halloween and came up with this movie. An absolutely stupid choice of lead actor combined with a really bad script makes the whole thing kind of "Killer Tomatoes" cool.

This kind of thing happens in the story: They go into some underground tunnels beneath a graveyard with no plan, no guns, no secret charm, just Don Knotts and Mr. French going to see if the monster that killed 4 people last night is still there. They find this crazed demon-infested girl and reach near it's hugely-fanged face to pull out a hair to study. Just one dumb idea after another.

My favorite part? Check out the sound it makes when the deputies are shooting the lock at the end.

I didn't see the first movie, but I don't think I needed it to review this.

This may be one of the greatest (and when I say the greatest,I mean THE GREATEST) horror film I've seen since SHOWGIRLS! The lead actor, Mark Kinsey Stephensen, channels the Mr. Tamborine man-size cajones of William Shatner with the acting range of a toaster oven not plugged in and with no muffins in it. The presence of veteran actors David Warner and John Rhys-Sallah-Gimli-Davies only heightens the cheese factor to Limburger-sized heights. This film contains AT LEAST 12 rewindable moments, including the gratuitous butt-shots of ham-sandwich sporting actress Maria Ford, the attack in a library by the Unameable on a bunch of mullet-coiffed cops, and an Obi-Wan Kenobi moment in which the LA Gear wearing sidekick is visited by the ghost of the Gorton's fisherman. Kudos to the supporting cast as well, from obviously gay George Takei wannabe pal to the hairy-kneed college student who looks like bastard love child of Fabio and Corey Feldman. Stack 'em high and dig in.