Neon City

The plot: A bounty hunter joins a group of travelers seeking sanctuary at Neon City, a city deep in the dangerous, post-apocalyptic wastelands.

Neon City is obviously a big rip-off of Mad Max, but it also takes equal influence from old Westerns. Despite that, I still love this movie. Maybe it's the fact that Michael Ironside stars as a good guy, a rare role for this badass actor. Maybe it's because it rips off some amazingly awesome movies, and it reminds me of them constantly. Maybe it's because it was part of my college years, and I just couldn't get enough of these cheesy, late 80s/early 90s post-apocalyptic Mad Max ripoffs. Maybe it was because this is actually a pretty decent movie underneath the layers of "homage". I've always thought that this forgotten B movie could have been a cult classic if only it had gotten a little bit more attention.

If you're expecting a big budget, amazing sets, famous A-list actors, mind-blowing special effects, and an original plot, then, yeah, you'll be very disappointed. However, if you're a fan of B movies, then you'll probably have no problem overlooking the faults.

"Take a deep breath, it may be your last. Welcome to the year 2053!" In the year 2053 the world is a post-apocalyptic wasteland. In this movie it is called "The Outland", with a blatant disregard for the Sean Connery film of the same name. "The Outland" doesn't have a lot of clean air or water. People are eating dogs for sustenance.

Enter Harry M. Stark (Ironside), a no-nonsense bounty hunter who looks like Jack Nicholson. His job is to bring Reno (Vanity) back to Neon City. He handcuffs himself to her because she is always escaping. There are so many outlaws in "The Outland" that one can collect "Red Star Credits" for bringing them to justice. What you can exchange these for aren't explained. Is it like Skee Ball tokens or "Coconut Coins"? The world may never know.

Luckily there is a bus going to Neon City. The movie never explains where they are and how long it takes to get to Neon City. The bus driver is named Bulk and he is played with aplomb by Lyle Alzado. As if the name "Bulk" wasn't enough, he is nicknamed "The Killer Tomato" because "He crushes people's heads as easily as an overripe tomato". Bulk and Harry don't get along at first because Bulk is an ex-con that Harry brought in.

Also going to Neon City in this bus are a bad stand-up comic looking for work, a sketchy doctor with a mullet, a spoiled rich girl and a woman who looks like Hillary Clinton. Riding shotgun with Bulk for most of the journey is a mysterious Asian man named Wing (Arsenio "Sonny" Trinidad) Along the way there are many obstacles and pitfalls. Besides the obvious personality clashes, there are roving bands of killers dubbed "Skins". They ride souped-up, broken down motorcycles if such a thing is possible. There are continuously chasing the bus and shooting at it. We don't know why. Stark shoots back with a laser that makes a classic laser noise: "Pew! Pew!" The many chase sequences are very repetitive and strongly reminiscent of the "Orange Grove Chase" from the classic "Cobra" (1986).

Other dangers our heroes have to face include something called a "Zander Cloud" which is a poisonous cloud. It would make more sense if it was a "Zzand Cloud". Similarly, there are some hot lights which are a silly menace that pads out the running time. Not to mention if they are so hot, why don't they melt all the snow around the area? They take a million breaks on the way to Neon City and they could have gotten there a lot faster. The importance to getting to Neon City is negated with all the breaks. One of the important breaks involves healing water that Harry and Reno take. It doesn't make much sense.

After all those breaks, they finally get to Neon City which is just a "Neon Room" (No city is actually seen) They are welcomed into the room by none other than "The Office's" Creed Bratton (Who was also a grip on the film). Already overlong at this point, after multiple endings Stark confronts his commanding officer (who is also evil) and is named "Jenkins".

There are some twists as far as relationships are concerned: Will Stark and Reno stay enemies or become an item? Will that annoying comic get his comeuppance for selling poison to cave-dwelling burn victims? And will Bulk get his wife's ring back from the "Skins"? and is Wing (once again played by Arsenio "Sonny" Trinidad) who he seems to be? All will be answered if you watch the entire thing.

"Neon City" closely resembles the recent box office smash "The Book Of Eli", obviously the Hughes Brothers closely studied this flick. Honestly, the movie is a "Mad Max" knockoff and scenes from it are ripped off wholesale.

Make sure to watch "Neon City" in the future! Interesting side note: Fan favorite Chuck Zito did some stunt work on the film.

Comeuppance Review by Ty & Brett For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

I'm pretty apathetic towards this film and don't like or dislike it. It has good cinematography and decent direction. It's just that the script is...eccentric. And the times when it tries for comedy are very tedious. The action scenes are boring, and...well, this is an example of a flick that is average in every sense of the word. Ironside is excellent.

When I hear, or think of actor Michael Ironside. I'm so use to him in a genre film of this ilk playing the hissable bad guy/henchman, in one shape or another, so it was a nice change of pace to see him at the opposite end of the spectrum. His gruff, tough as nails anti-hero performance, ex-ranger turned bounty hunter, makes it worthwhile, as the straight-to-video "NEON CITY" is virtually unspectacular, yet a durable and smoky post apocalyptic low-budget action fare.

The story had its running themes, but for most part it keeps it simple and traditional in structure, like a western (that sees a small group of people travelling by vehicle through the harsh wasteland of erratic weather extremes and ravaging ozone affected nomads to reach their destination; "Neon City"), and something of a "MAD MAX" imitation.

Maybe it plods a bit after the hour mark; the humor can be dopey (a comic relief character that's virtually a standup comedian who does illegal business on the side) and the journey a little too low-scale at times, especially on the action front. But what we do get provides the rough and tumble, when it counts, even moments of slow-mo (showering), solar/sandstorms, cue in that synth, gushing blood and a little laser activity. All of this leading to a random, but amusingly over-the-top standoff, where Ironside doesn't want to disappoint. Also alongside him is Vanity as his feisty prisoner.

As previously stated, this flick doesn't stand out for good or for ill, it has a few shining moments, but for the most part it seems to be one long star trek reject script about how screwing around with the atmosphere (particularly ozone) will have dire consequences. Possibly considered a potential star vehicle for "Vanity" (remember her?). Has some of the strangest dialogue I've ever heard: "I was in private school in Sweden. We lived underground in caves. They eat chocolate & they're bloated & they never see sunlight & they're pasty pale..."

I can't imagine this *EVER* went to theatres; it must have been direct to video; it's too sickly even for made for cable!