Les Dents de la mer 4 : La Revanche

There is Montezuma's revenge and then there is Jaws: The Revenge, in either case diarrhea is produced. This is really a terrible film, as if a shark would go out and take revenge on the family that "murdered" his cousins. Nonsense! It is awful to see Michael Caine in this film, I don't know why Michael appears in films like this, he must only do it for the money because the artistic merits of this film are zilch. Poor Lorraine Gary, went into retirement and then only to come out of retirement to do this turkey, and to think she felt obliged to as well, hardly a fitting finale to the end of a career. This film should have won more Razzies than it did but then against it was up against Leonard part 6!

I am completely dumbfounded. What in the world were the people behind this mess thinking? When the movie was over, Jaws: The Revenge left me with more questions than answers. Here's a laundry list of my questions:

1. How did a movie as good as Jaws spawn this junk?

2. Regardless of where the shark is in the ocean, how is it capable of knowing the moment a Brody sticks so much as a big toe into the water?

3. If you attributed your husband's and son's deaths to a great white shark, wouldn't you want to go to someplace like Oklahoma instead of the Bahamas?

4. Do all Bahamians slip in and out of their accents the way Mario Van Peebles does in Jaws: The Revenge?

5. Could they have possibly made the shark look any more fake?

6. Snails?

7. You mean that piece of welded together scrap metal was supposed to represent all that is good about the Bahamas?

8. Do sharks really jump out of the water like Shamu and roar like a lion?

9. What's more frightening - a great white shark or Ellen Brody's hair?

10. Is there a bigger acting whore on the planet than Michael Caine?

The best way to watch a movie like Jaws: The Revenge is with a group of friends. There's plenty here to make fun of.

If there ever were proof of the law of diminishing returns, the fourth entry in the Jaws series is it. The original was a taut thriller that launched the career of one of Hollywood's most celebrated directors. By comparison, Michael Caine often looks as if he is incredibly upset to be missing his award ceremony in order to appear in this piece. Lance Guest and Mario Van Peebles frequently appear to be wishing to have better things to do, while Lorraine Gary frequently looks stoned in moments when she is supposed to look frightening.

Clearly, the budget spent on this film didn't go into the research, script, or mechanical shark. Exactly why Michael Brody and his pals are putting what are apparently tracking devices on conch shells is never explained. Perhaps any explanation they thought of was so incredibly stupid that they thought it best to give up. An alternate explanation of why Michael is working in the water was never thought of, either. The true Ed Wood moment of the film comes towards the end of the piece, when the shark rises out of the water, and roars at Elaine. This is the first time I've heard of sharks having vocal cords. Given the box office draw this stinker had, I suspect it will be the last.

The shark takes a real beating here, too. The reason the shark wasn't seen often in the original was because Spielberg noticed that if one put it in front of the camera for long enough, the audience would notice that it doesn't move like a real shark. In this edition of the Jaws story, not only do they keep the camera focused upon the shark for more than enough time for the audience to notice the model's flaws, in so doing they make it crystal clear that this shark was made on the cheap. There are some shots in which the support structure of the shark is visible under the outer layer. There is even what appears to be a seam in the back of the shark's main fin.

To its credit, Jaws: The Revenge is well-photographed. While the 2.35:1 frame is often sparsely populated, depth of field is used with great effect in several shots. The fact that even frames with one character in them won't make sense when cropped to fit analogue television is a credit to the director and cinematographer. If only this kind of workmanship could have been seen in other aspects of the film.

Another area where Jaws: The Revenge deserves due credit is the score music. While the score is very much inspired by that which John Williams provided for the original, it distinguishes itself and genuinely works in its own right. In fact, one could almost say that the score music is more than the rest of the film deserves. The music is literally able to inject dramatic tension into scenes that, by all rights granted under the accepted rules of film-making, really shouldn't have any.

When all is said and done, I gave Jaws: The Revenge a one out of ten. It works as a comedy in the sense that it is a stinking pile of crap, but there are precious few moments when the people making it seem privy to the fact. As a result, the film winds up in a class all of its own. It's not just so bad its good, it is so utterly bad it is incredible.

On the island Amity during the Christmas break, Mrs. Ellen Brody's younger son Deputy Sean is taken by a great white shark one night after being called out to move a piece of wood tangled up with a buoy. After this happens Michael who lives in the Bahamas with his wife and daughter studying sea snails, visits his mother and asks her to come down there with him and the family. Ellen wants Michael to not go near the water, but he convinces her that it's all fine, since great whites don't like the warm water. But hold on as the shark that killed Sean is now stalking the family and has only one thing on mind - to wipe out the Brody family.

Leave those Brody's alone! Err, what crud… yeah reading the outline above you'll be just rolling your eyes at how ridiculous this film does get. The last sequel "Jaws 3" was a bad film, but I actually enjoyed it to some degree, but here the personal agenda format was just rubbish and the special connection between the Brody's and the shark was just plain risible. I just found this clunker quite lacklustre with it's melodramatic, soap opera of a story and it's lack of thrills and suspense. It was quite a drag and it did have that cheap TV feel about it, despite it's more than capable cast. The only thing that I thought was decent was the terrifyingly, bloody and macabre opening death. Although, few of the performances ( mainly Lance Guest in the key role of Michael Brody and Michael Caine's happy- go-lucky pilot character Hoagie ) made sure that the film didn't sink too fast. While, the rest were simply one-note and Mario Van Peebles' Jamaican accent was just so dodgy. But what was in need of a life-jacket was the dire script that threw out many awful lines of dialogues. "I've always wanted to make love to an angry welder. I've dreamed of nothing else since I was a small boy." What?! The repetitively, diluted story is full of crock with many implausible situations and it doesn't leave too much up to the imagination. Was the writer and the director drinking sea water on this project? Maybe so, because Michael's wife's supposed piece of art resembled… what? I just don't see it. Well, the sprawling beach lines and crystal blue waters were a nice sight. Too bad that the mechanical, but crooked plastic shark slowly got in the way. The ramshackle design looked dreadful, but the makers didn't seem to notice because they constantly kept showing the abomination in it's full glory. I even got the feeling that the shark just couldn't stop grinning. The (few) shark attacks are rather furious and quite graphic, but I found the latter ones to be laughable because of the execution. Really, it goes all out to outdo itself, but this puddle turns out to be simply inept in mostly every single department. Overall, a fatally disastrous novel production that never should have seen open waters and you won't be laughing too much, but you'll be a daze of bemusement to how this franchise fell apart.

It's definitely as bad as its reputation. This is one shark that just won't let go!

It's personal because I hate this audience-insulting movie. This has got to be the stupidest horror flick of all times. The ending (all of them) alone would be enough to justify this film's place on the bottom 100 list. I mean the premise (shark is after the Brody family for revenge. It chases (and beats) the Brody's to Jamaica to harrass them and snack on a few extras).

The effects went WAY downhill for this one. The shark on the Universial Studios tram tour is more convincing then this duct-taped-at-the-seams roboshark. The acting is atrocious (especially Mario Van Peeble and his grating "hey mon" accent)