Death Nurse

Death Nurse (1987)

BOMB (out of 4)

Edith (Priscilla Alden) and her brother Gordon (Albert Eskinazi) work in their house as "doctors" but in reality they're just nuts who welcome in patients so that they can brutally kill them. They welcome in a man and kill him quickly but his annoying "keeper" continues to check in on him, which causes a problem for the doctors.

Director Nick Millard and star Alden hit exploitation gold with CRIMINALLY INSANE. That ultra low-budget movie just had something about it that appealed to drive-in fans such as myself but he followed that up in 1987 with a horrid sequel. That sequel was about forty minutes worth of footage from the original movie and twenty minutes worth of new scenes. DEATH NURSE is considered the unofficial third film in the series since it does feature the same director, star and sets but I think it plays out better as its own film. The problem is that it features a lot of stock footage from CRIMINALLY INSANE.

You know, I admire people who go out there and make movies no matter of their quality. I review movies as a passion but even the worst movie ever made deserves more "credit" than someone like me who simply watches them and talks about them. DEATH NURSE is a really awful movie on so many levels but I guess this should be expected. The special effects are bad. The music and cinematography are bad. The editing is bad. Everything is pretty bad here and what's worse is the fact that so much stock footage is used.

The good old days of VHS stores had countless movies like this on the store shelves. I actually found CRIMINALLY INSANE to be entertaining but this film here is just really, really bad.

This movie was horrible. It looked like bad porn! It was supposedly shot by the same party behind CRIMINALLY INSANE, but compared to that tarnished little jewel, this film is utter and complete trash. Unedited, unscripted, and un-acted, this piece of VHS video was obviously ripped clean out of the camcorder and thrown onto video store shelves without even the most rudimentary post-production tinkering.

The film supposedly takes place in a state-run "clinic," although the viewer soon wonders why the state would refer patients to a tacky tract house with cottage cheese ceilings and bad wood paneling.

Terrible. Simply terrible. And disappointing, too. Quite sad, actually. I'm crying right now because of this film. That's how bad it was.

This was not a real film. This was a home movie.

The movie starts out with Priscilla Alden playing as Edith, who works as a nurse, lives with her brother in a suburban house. They kill new patients to keep up the bill for their state care. Okay, the plot is decent, but that's the only good thing about the film. Alden also has a nice creepy laugh.

I was very disappointed by this film. It's simply one of Nick's worst movies, and I felt like I got the biggest b*tch slap in the face. I mean what happened? This film is so incredibly boring that I couldn't get along with the plot any longer. The opening and ending titles, this movie doesn't have any. It's only footage that he ripped from Criminally Insane. There is very little gore, and very little kills. The whole movie itself is poorly edited, there isn't any originality into the sets, the sets were only re-used from Satan's Black Wedding for this movie. Nick, what were you thinking? It doesn't take this much to make a simple horror movie. You put effort on your other movies, they had nice quality, good sound, and it looked it you took time to make those movies. This looks like some crappy home video you and your family recorded, put it together with two VHS's, and sold it off as a "horror" film. Not even I would enjoy it.

Good old Nick Millard, with his tiny, tiny budgets and crude lack of filmmaking finesse. He once again gives us a true groaner that somewhat entertains the viewer, if only because it's just so damn awful. Granted, the feeling that writer / director Millard does seem to have his tongue in his cheek helps to a degree, but that doesn't change the fact that this is just plain bad, bad, bad. The bargain basement gore is fun in its mind blowing tackiness, as is the acting that is phenomenally putrid right across the board.

Millard re-teams with his "Criminally Insane" lead Priscilla Alden, who here plays Edith Mortley, a sadistic nurse who works with her "doctor" brother Gordon (Albert Eskinazi) at a clinic which they run out of their suburban home. They're psychos AND they're scam artists, continuing to bill the state even after they've butchered their patients. Their trouble truly begins when the nosey Faith Chandler (Frances Millard, a. k. a. Nicks' mom) begins to poke around.

You can see that Nick knows damn well that he doesn't even have ONE hours' worth of story here, so he pads and pads the running time (even so, this only runs 58 minutes!) with archive footage from "Criminally Insane". Some of it is even used more than once. This is supposed to represent the dreams of the Edith character.

This is a singularly untalented cast, the kind that truly does make you want to look away. Millard also casts his wife Irmgard as the alcoholic, lusty patient Louise and even plays a part himself, that of the very ill Mr. Davis. Alden, at the least, does seem to be having fun.

"Death Nurse" is going to come off as a major waste of time to most people, even in light of its brief running time, but if you're anything like this viewer, its complete ineptitude should strike you as hilarious often enough to make this tolerable.

Five out of 10.

nick millard's 1987 sov slasher, death nurse, is a movie about a overweight nurse and his brother, who has this clinic where they take care of people, but what people don't know, that the nurse is a rampaging murderer with the thirst for blood to keep up their bills.

now may i want to ask, why do i hate this movie so much other than it's a shot on a camcorder movie? nothing literally happens at death nurse! it's poorly edited, it has absolutely no soundtrack, no good special effects, and you know what's the worst part? this film is supposed to be taken seriously.

death nurse is a movie so bad it's funny, but not funny bad, it's awful. we never get to see the actual characters get a little touch by a plastic meat cleaver, the results end for one second or probably zero, the sounds always cut off, that's how bad the editing is! don't get me to the acting either, they're not even trying to act, they're not trying to even try at all, there's too many scenes of the nurse having nightmares of this other character which is not edith from criminally insane, and many other footage that has nothing to do with the plot! f*ck this movie! the term "worst movie ever" isn't enough to describe this poor effort. nothing can. only a s*it brown would.