Creepozoids

Now I've seen a lot a terrible horror films, but this is about the worst. It was so bad that when we watched it the first time on video, we just had to keep rewinding and playing the 'worst' scenes over and over again, until we could take it no more.

It was absolutely hilarious!! The giant rats could not be any less animated, although having said that, the actors were worse!! Their attempts at terrified screams were worthy of Oscar nominations in the comedy category.

Watch this film when you a feeling miserable!! It cannot fail to make you laugh!!!

Well, here's my story. I had been searching for this video for three years when I came across a copy for $9 in Best Buy. I rushed home excitedly, only to be slightly disappointed. I thought it'd be more of a classic with a title like that. However, it entertained and that's the important part. Very predictable, but aren't they all. Linnea adds spirit to the picture, as she always does with her goofiness and charming voice. The other people just kind of spit out there dialogue (sometimes terrible), and just look around for monsters. Also check for the time when the nerdy guy types stuff on the computer. See the famous names displayed. The best part about this flick is that "creepy" baby zombie! He steals the show afterall, though he's only at the very end...and still alive. If Charlie(Band) kicked in some more money, the producers could have used more than, like, 4 sets - some re-used for Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama. Oh well, I'd love to see a sequel or a remake - Monstrozoids(?). Please, Dave? At least it had a fair plot and I liked it enough to watch it three times. Yeah, that box-art kicks butt, too.

Set in the post-apocalyptic near future of 1998 (this is an 80s flick, remember), Creepozoids sees a group of army deserters breaking into a heavily fortified building (well, the door was locked, anyway) in order to shelter from an acid-rain storm. This turns out to be a bad idea, for the place not only turns out to be home to giant killer rats, but also a biological experiment gone wrong: a virus designed to replace amino acids causes the soldiers to mutate and die if they eat, but worse still, there's a six foot rubber monster on the loose and it ain't very friendly.

Directed by B-movie hack David DeCoteau, and starring Linnea Quigley, the quintessential 80s scream queen (plus a pre-hardcore Ashlyn Gere, here credited as Kim McKamy), this film is a very cheap and very trashy Alien rip-off that manages to be vaguely entertaining thanks to its sheer awfulness: marvel at Quigley's nipple enhancing vest and her uncanny ability to locate a working shower, even in an end-of-the-world scenario; be totally surprised when Gere DOESN'T remove her top; spot the major goof as one character reads a computer journal out loud, but his words fail to match those displayed on the screen; laugh as the cast wrestle with unconvincing, over-sized stuffed rodents; be amazed as DeCoteau foolishly attempts to recreate Ridley Scott's shocking mess-room scene from Alien; and wonder WTF is going on as a mutant baby erupts from the creature and proceeds to attack the sole survivor.

I understand why the rating is so low. This really has quite a few issues and flaws in a few departments. Actually the director himself will admit to that (listen to the audio commentary). Anything wrong with this or whatever you feel does not work, he is taking responsibility for it. Now that is someone who can self reflect (even if he apparently wasn't able to do that back in the day).

All that aside and really considering this being a low budget movie, it can be fun to watch. It has decent special effects (again budget taken into account), horror, suspense and even some love making! Go in with low expectation and the very restricted movie/location will entertain you.

There's not a lot you can say about Creepozoids, it's really just a rip-off of Alien with an extremely trashy feel. The lighting is poor and the pace is a little slow. However there's some mildly amusing scenes scattered throughout, mostly towards the end when you get to see the monster and the "baby". The monster effects are actually quite decent considering the obvious low budget. I laughed a few times, especially when the guy throws the baby off himself, and also when the monster is apparently holding him up in the air - it's obvious that he's attached to a harness from the ceiling. There's also a few funny scenes involving giant "rats" that look like puppets. Oh, and one of the girls bares her breasts.

Creepozoids isn't a total waste of time, but it's not something you'll want to go out of your way to find either.