Heros Boys

The Zero Boys is definitely a strange one. While it looks like a Rambo rip off or some sort of survivalist action movie, it really has a structure and cast more in line with the slasher movies of that same area.

A bunch of paintball loving guys and their girlfriends head up to a secluded cabin in the woods (which they don't own). Soon, someone is killing them one by one due to their tresspassing.

There are shades of the torture film when they discover that these killers have been recording their victims' final moments on video and playing them to taunt their current victims. Also, scream queen Kelli Maroney (Chopping Mall, Night of the Comet) is always a welcome addition to any film's cast and the film clips along at a great, exciting pace. It's a shame this one is lesser known that some of its contemporaries.

The Zero Boys is a good, old fashioned 80's action/horror/comedy. It's also rare. I just found this one on DVD (if you believe that) and it's marketed as an action movie; the trailer, the cover art, everything. It does start out that way. The Zero Boys, Steve, Larry, and Rip, are the best at what they do: paintball wars. The movie starts with a great game of paintball. When the Zero Boys win, they take a vacation in the woods and stumble upon an abandoned cabin. That's when the horror starts. The action part is so good that I almost didn't want it to turn into a horror flick. It all works out though because the horror is just as good, and cheesy, as the action. It's actually turns into a decent slasher flick which creates an eerie atmosphere. The cheesy dialogue and the one liners are what really make the movie. Such phrases as "Jason old boy, are you in there?" and "Probably just a bunch of faggots living in the woods." make this one a classic. All through the movie I kept remarking about how much the lead killer looked like Martin Sheen. It turned out to be his brother, Joe Estevez. If you're looking for an entertaining mix of genres, catch The Zero Boys, if you can find it.

A group of friends travel to a wilderness area to play a survival game. Soon they unexpectedly find themselves in a real-life survival situation.

The first thing movie fans will probably notice about this film is that the score comes from Hans Zimmer, who has since become legendary. The score is remarkable, and if this was truly Zimmer's work, it is among his most fun and moving scores. You will not hear another score like it. Although not widely know, Frank Darabont (who is now a huge director), got his start in the art department on this film. Marianne Maddalena, the right-hand woman to Wes Craven for most of his career, was also a production assistant for "Zero Boys".

Writer-director-producr Nico Mastorakis decided to cast largely unknown actors. Presumably, this was done for budget reasons. Despite this, he did land Kelli Maroney, who he now says was "never any trouble" and has nothing but high praise for her. Daniel Hirsch was carried over from "Sky High", but could hardly be considered a known actor, especially since no one saw "Sky High".

Among the main cast is Nicole Rio, who is a horror icon in her own little way. She does not have a long list of credits, but 1986 brought her both this film (her debut) and the better-known "Sorority House Massacre". Being that her father and brother were in show business, it is something of a mystery why she seems to have more or less dropped out before she ever got going.

The biggest name in the film (besides perhaps Joe Estevez) is Kelli Maroney, who is definitely a horror icon. She will forever be identified with "Night of the Comet". Had the 1980s horror boom lasted a few years longer, she probably would have gone from genre favorite to big screen success. Apparently she butted heads with the director on "Zero Boys", being more strong-willed than he was hoping for. He may have forgotten this.

Other reviewers have noted that the gruesome sequences anticipate the so-called torture porn horrors of "Hostel" and "Saw". And this is a fair assessment. The movie has an unusual scene of tone, starting out very light-hearted, but then getting quite dark. The 1980s slasher film often can be seen as dark comedy, but the torture scenes here are too gritty, too dirty to have any humor at all. This takes away from the enjoyment of the picture, but it does make you wonder if "Hostel" or "Saw" was in some way influenced by this grit?

Besides giving us a beautiful 2K restoration, Arrow Video has put more than a couple features on their 2016 blu-ray. We have audio commentary with star Kelli Maroney ("Night of the Comet"), as well as new interviews with Maroney, writer-director-producr Nico Mastorakis (very humorous), and actress Nicole Rio. And two music videos! Want to read more on the film? Check out the fully-illustrated collector's booklet featuring new writing by critic James Oliver.

***

The title characters are three young men - Steve (Daniel Hirsch), Larry (Tom Shell), and Rip (Jared Moses) - who are veterans of weekend war games. They head out with three female companions - Jamie (Kelli Maroney), Sue (Nicole Rio), and Trish (Crystal Carson) - into the woods to have a good time. They come across an isolated dwelling, and decide to make themselves at home. They do this at their own peril, for the house owner and an associate are evil sadists and not exactly hospitable.

Some genre buffs cite this as a forerunner to more modern "torture porn" features like the "Saw" and "Hostel" series, except that it's a lot less explicit in terms of onscreen human suffering. Overall, it's a mildly entertaining thriller, with tones of a slasher at times but which also takes its cue from survival films like "Deliverance". It might not be gory or sexy enough to suit some tastes, but the story is pretty simple and straightforward, and the pacing is more than adequate. The characters, especially Rip, threaten to be overly annoying at first, but become easier to root for as the story progresses. Filmed on the same basic locations as "Friday the 13th Part III", this can boast an early credit for future big time composer Hans Zimmer ("Inception", "The Dark Knight"). Atmosphere is decent, and while the script is often predictable, it does elicit some chuckles from this viewer when it plays out just as he thought it would.

The acting is negligible, although to be fair the actors have to mouth a fair amount of inane dialogue. Maroney is the most recognizable of the young cast; viewers familiar with this cute, appealing actress from "Night of the Comet" and "Chopping Mall" will be amused when she's presented with a gun and tells Steve that she doesn't know how to use one. The audience will be struck by the resemblance of the primary antagonist to actor Martin Sheen (you get an ever so slight echo of "Apocalypse Now" here), so it comes as no surprise that the actor in question is Joe Estevez, Martins' brother! (Acting under a pseudonym.)

Running a reasonably trim hour and a half, this is watchable enough to not feel like a waste of time.

Six out of 10.

The Zero Boys are the best "Weekend Warriors" on the paintball ranch. With feisty newcomer Jamie (Kelli Maroney) in tow, the gang heads out on a classic aimless teen road trip, and wind up at an apparently deserted country house where they proceed to do the things horror teens do: have sex, play games, argue, and split up to maximise their vulnerability.

Of course, they are not alone. The yokel hicks are on the loose with knives, and they soon lure the group into the woods – and into a series of traps. The Zero Boys (and Girls) must use their dubious survival skills, and their stash of real guns, to fight back and make it through the night.

Although Nico Mastorakis is an uber-trash auteur on the level of Albert Pyun, the first scene is promising: playful in the same way that Vamp toyed with our perceptions in its opening. And the idea of the kids taking the front foot, rather than being out-and-out victims, is an intriguing setup. But it's a swift descent into mediocrity and cliché.

"Eat your heart out, Sly," one gun-toting character utters. The film has no problem referencing its contemporaries, including Friday the 13th and The Twilight Zone. It's kinda meta. Ostensibly The Zero Boys is a blend of two classic 80s genres: the teen slasher and the uzi action movie. If only it delivered on the scares or the thrills. In its found footage torture vignettes and its Hunger Games survive-'em-up finale it even prefigures certain modern genres, but in practice we have the usual idiot-plotting schlock, with characters inexplicably going off and doing their own thing to suit audience expectations rather than logic.

Kelli Maroney is perhaps most contemporaneously famous for Night of the Comet, another (much better) mid-80s genre mashup. She's different here: less ditzy and more resourceful, and usually the smartest person in the room. She's more than a match for our hero, Steve, played by Daniel Hirsch with the soft-spoken intensity of a young Bruce Dern but without the charisma.

The positives: occasionally decent quickfire dialogue; some good 'n' gaudy lighting; the pacing is bang on; and Hans Zimmer's Gothic- synth score is fantastic. What it lacks is the ghoulish humour and gore to match something like Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2 or Sam Raimi's Evil Dead series. Poor editing and mediocre makeup undermine the best scares (don't open that freezer cabinet!). Throw in some irrelevant slow motion and a frankly meaningless final shot and we're left with a distinctly ordinary entry in the 80s slasher canon.