Les Larmes d'un héros

There was a film that I saw

Just the other day

And I sat there in awe

As it blew me away.

It was made by John Woo

Who is now a sell out

His fans he does screw

As the cash they shell out.

So get a six-pack

Full of cold, frosty beers

And then sit back

For Heroes Shed No Tears

Watch with devotion

This huge action feast

With enough blood to fill an ocean

To say the frickin' least

Our heroes in this tale

Are a group of Mercs

Who blast folks all to hell

'Specially drug lord jerks

There's fighting, there's stabbing

There's nuking, there's looting

There's biting, there's grabbing

There's puking, there's shooting

Punches are thrown

Black soldiers are eaten

Eyeballs are sewn

Children are beaten

A fight goes on

With nails and a tire

Our hero loses his son

Almost in a fire

There's tons of dying

But where the film falters

Is all the damn crying

Like it was Barbara Walters

When our hero does cry

It gets really lame

For the movie does lie

With its very own name

But please do not fret

It does little harm

And I'll make you a bet

About the scene with the arm

If you do not jump

When the dude gets the spears

Shoved straight up his rump

You've drunk too much beers

And if you don't find it nice

When the hut does explode

After the role of a dice

Then you're a humorless toad

So get off your fat ass

And get the hell out of here

Cuz you'll have a damn blast

With Heroes Shed No Tears

The 1980s were the decade when the Americans produced lots of patriotic action films like "Rambo 1-3" or "The Delta Force"-series, for example. Now, John Woo´s version of a mercenary-movie is quite different: of course, there are lots of heavy gunfights and giant explosions, however without being too one-dimensional as the US-movies are! The fast-paced plot is improved by well-developed characters, typical Asian humor and allusions to father and son, friendship and honour without being too pathetic in any way! Maybe not John Woo´s best, but still an action movie far above average!!

Ludicrously violent war movie, notable only for being director John Woo's first foray into gung-ho gunplay that's since become his forte.

Every plot twist is improbable or just plain ridiculous, every character a hackneyed stereotype or just there for cannon fodder, and every line of poorly subbed dialogue unintentionally funny. In other words, I thought it was great.

Definitely worth taking a look at if you're in the mood for some truly mindless violence, or if you're a Woo completist.

I can suspend a lot of disbelief, but not unlimited disbelief. Some of the things done by good and bad guys alike here just went a step too far.

That being said, if you're looking for plenty of John Woo shoot-em-up action presented within a fairly short runtime, I think Heroes Shed No Tears delivers. It's very direct, and quite scrappily made in parts, but a good deal of the big set pieces prove to be visceral and engaging.

It's ultimately a little disposable, and I feel like his 1990 film Bullet in the Head scratches a similar itch, but much more effectively. Yet this still delivers for fans of Woo, and honestly rode the line between a 3/5 and a 3.5/5 for me throughout (but I still think I'm going to round down here, at the end of the day).

This is a strange movie. It starts in what seems like the climax of a movie we didn't see and picks up from there to give us a kind of men in mission movie, where the mission already happened... So this group of Rotten Magnificent Basterds has to escape, and through the journey they pick up a kid and his mother to give us some emotional connection. All of director Woo's trademarks are present with one noticeable exception, no doves! But if you want extreme violence in slow motion, lots of explosions, lots of very forced emotional manipulation with the kid and the girls, and an enormous body count, this is the movie for you. I was kind of surprised with the violence here and there's also a psychedelic sex scene that feels very out of place as John Woo usually stays clear of such scenes, not to mention a very bizarre gambling scene that comes out of nowhere. In conclusion a very raw early movie by John Woo, that has its charm but is very unpolished and remembered more for its oditties than its merits.