Terror at Tenkiller

Say what you will about movies like Death Promise and Samurai Cop, but they are actually watchable and entertaining in their own ways even without riffing! I watched both of them on their own after seeing them riffed, and I was still entertained. They aren't what you'd call "well made," but they actually DO something. Death Promise has a very clear PLOT that PROGRESSES, and it had likeable, earnest heroes. Samurai Cop had enjoyable heroes who had questionable approaches to their work but never got to the point where you hated them. (Samurai Cop's sequel is ATROCIOUS, however.) The aforementioned films also had villains whose motives you understood, but this film has none of that.

The "heroines" aren't really likable, as one is weak with constant whiny face and the other is basically only a support system for her (and otherwise vague). The location is boring and not beautiful like they claimed, they showed us who the killer is right away, killing any possible mystery-based tension more effectively than any person was killed. And there's no real arc despite what happens. There are countless ways they could have played this, but they played it in the worst way possible because it's a slasher that tells us who the killer is instantly, lacks any mystery or tension, has basic kills, and is absolutely not one iota scary. WHAT WAS THE POINT? Might as well made it a drama about a girl having the power to leave an abusive boyfriend, but they would have messed that up too if what they produced was any indication. Just awful.

I watched Terror at Tenkiller yesterday and made it through the whole flick. I had seen it before years ago, but couldn't remember a thing about it. Needless to say, it's pretty forgettable. The main female character is a bit on the plump side, and she quickly shows off her assets by taking a shower after a swim (Too bad the lighting is pretty dismal and she's the kinda girl that wears panties under her swimsuit) Needless to say the shot of her getting out of the pool confirms that this chick has got some junk in the trunk. A rare occurrence in most movies who's producers seem to be convinced all men enjoy looking at anorexic women with boob-jobs. At this point I still had high hopes.

Once again the have an example of characters that are supposed to be in school, and still under their parents wing, but look to be pushing or over 30. The leads girlfriend in the flick looks about 31 (although I must admit she keeps in shape as she spends ample time in a bikini) Anywho, the acting is pretty stiff, but not terrible (Except for maybe Thor), that's the best I can say about the rest of the movie.

The quality of the picture is pretty dismal throughout, with the ending being almost unwatchable because it was filmed outside in the dark, the few effects are for the most part non-effective (except one involving poor ol Preacher). The story itself make no sense, and the scares are literally non-existent in spite of several attempt to try and produce a jolt. Attempts at suspense fall flat. There is big hair though and to further confirm the fact this flick was made in the 80's, has a soundtrack that was almost surely made entirely on one of those big ass sampler keyboards you used to play around with that were on display when you first walked into Sears circa 1984.

There's no mystery or suspense in this film at all, the characters are utterly vapid, and Ye Gods! but the music has to be the worst I have EVER heard in a film. The guy who is somehow supposed to come off as an attractive psycho is ugly as sin...It's hard to believe this movie was ever even released in VHS. It seems as though it may have been scriptless. I highly suggest watching the Rifftrax version of this, if you want to see it at all - it's the only way it will be tolerable. Very, very cheesy ending, too. (Note: The above reviewer who calls the female lead 'plump' must be hallucinating - she is just another anorexic looking 80's chick!)

The most interesting thing about this film was the VHS cover - a girl with huge breasts in a swamp. Terror at Tenkiller started off looking promising, with the right mood for a slasher film and cool 80's synth music. It even had plenty of breast shots, in fact there was loads of flesh on display. But it was just soooooo boring! It played out like a soap opera rather than a slasher film, and I had to listen to endless talking between the two girls about how one of them should leave her boyfriend and stand up for herself...etc. The gore is virtually non-existent and what we do get is done very poorly. When one of the girls is killed, we see the knife puncture her skin, then bizarrely the rest of the stabbing isn't even shown. The pace is as slow as a tortoise and it doesn't take long before you just want the film to end.

Slasher fans should stay away. I know what I'm talking about as I've seen loads of slashers and this one sadly falls into the "bore-fest" category. Watch "The Forest" or "Don't Go In The Woods" instead - those films at least have some entertainment value.

This has to be one of the most boring slashers I have ever seen. Nothing happens... and when it does it's so slow and totally without enthusiasm, from the makers side. We have seen the story a 100 times, the acting is so bad it's not even funny, there's hardly any effects and the kills are uninspired. Even Oasis of the Zombies is more "fun" to watch than this one... and THAT says a LOT about Terror at Tenkiller! Then there's that music... it's so flat and (surprise, surprise) boring. It takes the suspense out of any situation. Not good...

I would not recommend this flick to my worst enemy. Watch paint dry instead... that's a kick in the head, compared to this c***!