Sorority House Massacre

Listen, I've suffered through a lot of bad movies in my day, but the exciting thing about them is that, sometimes, they're so awful they almost turn into bizarre comedies full of weird line readings, insane dialogue, completely inhuman responses to big twists, etc. For me, the worst thing a film can do is be boring or mundane without a single inspired moment and, honestly, most bad films are usually far from boring.

This brings me to Sorority House Massacre - a film so dull, passionless, and lacking in anything remotely resembling excitement that I'm surprised I remembered it enough to give this review.

It manages to cram the plots of Halloween and A Nightmare on Elm Street into one, but it does absolutely nothing of note. Usually, in even the worst of slasher films, there's a character or death scene or two worth remembering, but there's absolutely nothing to latch onto here. It's all just going through the motions.

If you value your time, skip it.

An authentic whack job (John C. Russell) wants out of the mental asylum he is in. Once he escapes he goes to a sorority house where he seems to have a certain connection to a college girl named Beth (Angela O'Neill).

In the end this movie is better than it should have really been. Does have some good imagery during the dream sequences, but takes too much from A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and way too much from HALLOWEEN. I thought a big thing that would have worked for the movie was adding some back story to the characters. We do get Beth's, but none of the other characters seem to have much of a back story. None of the male college students have any. Because of this the only characters I really cared about were Beth and John (Vinnie Bilancio). John just seemed to be a nice guy, but man I wanted to get deeper into his character than what I got. You may say that's what you get for watching a slasher. Maybe, but I am not going to lower my bar just because I am watching a slasher flick. They too can have well-developed characters. I also think by doing this it may have extended the running time a little as it comes in at only 74 minutes.

Anyways, on a side note they end up watching SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE, which I do recommend watching and writer/director Carol Frank worked as assistant to the director in that film. As well when some of the college girls decide to go through Cindy's clothes who has gone away for the weekend you are welcomed to Shoulder Pad City. Ahhh the 80s.

(**1/2 out of *****)

This is the only movie in the slasher-slashes-girls-in-their-nighties series -- which includes the "Slumber Party Massacre" movies and Jim Wynorski's "Hard to Die" (he also directed the sequel to this one) -- that stands on its own. It has nothing to do with the others, and, storywise, it's better. Angela O'Neill plays a traumatized college girl who has sleeping and waking nightmares about a madman who murdered his family, except for one sister (guess who it is), twelve years ago in the house that is now O'Neill's sorority house. When she and three of her sorority sisters are left alone for the weekend, her dreams come true when the same nutcase escapes from the mental hospital and comes back home to finish the job. I'm not gonna lie to you -- this is far from great -- but, it is surprisingly suspenseful in parts, the characters are fairly likable, and, unlike most of these other movies, the script does a believably good job of keeping the girls trapped in the house. There is a silly dress-up montage (including the obligatory topless scenes), the obligatory false-scare climax (including a totally unnecessary final murder that ticked me off), and lots of scenes of knives going into stomachs and backs. Otherwise, the T&A is not as rampant as in the other nightie slashers, but the story is (slightly) more rewarding.

HIGHLIGHT: One sorority chic and her boyfriend are fooling around in a tent in the backyard when the killer ruins all their fun by slashing up the tent and stabbing the girl right between the -- well, not the eyes -- and her boyfriend ditches her and runs, screaming and buck-naked, back into the house.

"Sorority House Massacre" (1986) combines the plot of "Halloween" (psycho killer escapes asylum and goes after his little sister) with the sorority house setting of "The House on Sorority Row" (1983) and "Black Christmas" (1974). But the production values are subpar by comparison, sparking some to call it the worst 80's slasher film.

It's true that the movie starts shaky with filmmaking akin to an old soap opera, but it builds some suspense in the second half. And there are a few gems, like when Beth's sorta-date (the short, dark-haired guy) says, "I just like being with you." This shows that the writer actually put in some effort despite the Grade B (or Grade C) production values. The fact that there's no camp and everything plays out deadly seriously is a plus.

The film is short and sweet at 1 hour, 14 minutes; it was shot in Los Angeles.

GRADE: C

Sorority House Massacre isn't too bad at all, but there is nothing original or fresh about it either. The basic plot is the same as Halloween (killer from an asylum escapes in search of his sister) and borrows a little from Nightmare On Elm Street (lots of weird nightmares about the killer). The nightmares don't really add much to the film, so I think it would have been better if they had been left out. The build up to the climax is a little slow, but once the action kicks in there are surprisingly a few tense moments, such as when the killer tries to climb in through the window.

Overall, Sorority House Massacre is just an average slasher flick. Watchable, but not very original. Also not very gory, so gore-hounds should look elsewhere.