The Phantom Empire

On the disc this was on, before the movie started there was a word (actually more than that) from the director. We apparently get him in his home with his wife (I did not check if this is factually correct), just to get a side character from the movie invading - or is it from the movie? If you find this funny, you're in for a treat with the movie itself (though do not expect nearly as much nudity as you get to see in this short).

You have to actually shut your brain off, not care about the movies actual intro (after we get to see quite a decent effect for a low budget movie), that edits the opening credits with a detective style throwback ... it tries to be funny but does not really succeed. What it does though from time to time (maybe) - it surprises you with some neat choices. Like making the female assistant be more macho than the detective himself. A nice touch, if you care enough. Otherwise very low production values but a nice throwback to claymation towards the end - does it make sense? No not at all - but if you are looking for that, you are way wrong here

This is hilarious. A classic camp movie, it's just awful in every way. The acting is half a step above terrible, the soundtrack is horrendous, and the directing is barely mediocre. Yet it was still fun, for me at least. The plot alone was enough to watch it. It should have been called "Attack of the Amazon Women from Outer Space Who Have Robots and Who Fight Underground Cannibals and Capture Normal People." Absolutely hilarious. Enjoyable if you're a fan of campy films, but still just a 3 out of 10.

....and that happens at around the 50-minute mark, when Sybil (as a character in the film exclaims, "WOW!") Danning appears, well-cast as a fighting alien queen. Up until then "The Phantom Empire" is a plodding, sleep-inducing trek, and the cannibals with Halloween masks over their faces and old rags for clothes are beneath Z-grade cinema. The sole bright spot is Michelle Bauer as a bikini-clad "cave bunny". After Danning's entrance, the viewer can at least focus on her phenomenal figure, and it's easier to forgive the unimpressive stop-motion animation effects (I think "One Million Years B.C.", from 1965, has a better dinosaur battle than the one featured here). But if you want to see something from Fred Olen Ray that looks more like a real film and less like a college project, seek out his "Cyclone" from the following year. (*1/2)

P.S.: To claim that you watched this film "for the dinosaurs" is like claiming that you watched "Jurassic Park" for the T & A.

Fred Olen Ray is a cool dude. He's made over 100 movies, but this was made somewhat early on in his career. This film is a throwback to 1950's Z-grade monster cheapies, with a bit of 1930's serials thrown in as well. Yes, this film is beyond low budget. This is one of those flicks where they schlep a camera up to Bronson Canyon, and spend most of the movie running back and forth down the same cave. Also we get a side trip to Vasquez Rocks, which should be very familiar to fans of old sci-fi or old B-Westerns. The plot: is that really important? Just know we've a got a bad Indiana Jones rip-off played by Robert Quarry, his hard-drinking female second, a half-naked mute cave girl, the guy from "Reanimator", Sybil Danning as the "Alien Queen", and Robby the Robot shows up, amongst other foolishness I can't even remember.

If you get the DVD, listen to Fred's commentary track, which is invaluable for film fanatics and aspiring indie filmmakers. Fred records great commentaries, filled with hilarious anecdotes about the world of zero-budget filmdom. This is no exception. So, on that basis, I give the movie a 5 out of 10. But I realize that most film goers don't share the love of low-budget sci-fi films that I do, so buy with caution.

Another 80s Fred Olen Ray flick I had never seen, but knew quite well due to seeing stills of Sybil Danning in her tight leather outfit. Denae Chambers (Susan Stokey) hires Cort Eastman (Ross Hagen) and his female sidekick Eddy (Dawn Wildsmith) to help locate a rumored lost world in the center of the earth that might have tons of priceless jewels. Joining them on their expedition are Prof. Strock (Robert Quarry) and Andrew Paris (Jeffrey Combs). What they find after venturing 15 miles into a cave is another world ruled by an alien queen (Sybil Danning). This is so-so stuff from Ray that doesn't really pick up until the last 20 minutes. The best thing about it (other than Michelle Bauer getting topless) is the rapport between hard drinking Cort and Eddy. Combs is also an always welcome presence. Seeing this, DEEP SPACE, THE TOMB and PRISON SHIP all so close together also makes me respect the acting of Stokey as she played wildly different characters in each one. And, of course, Danning in anything 80s is require viewing. Yowza!