Cocaine Wars

"Cocaine Wars" is almost exactly what you want from a movie with that name from that year. It has over the top macho main character, hilarious performances and dialogue and schizophrenic editing. Is it bad? Absolutely! Is it entertaining? Yes, especially with a group of friends who understand what they're in for. Add to the mix some gorgeous nature and a bit of nice female nudity and you have yourself a treat if you like this sort of stuff. My only complaint is that the poster of the movie would make you think you will watch nonstop action with firearms, while in reality, our main character starts shooting only at the end of the movie.

All in all, if you know what to expect, "Cocaine Wars" can offer a nice entertaining afternoon before it fades from your memory and frankly, that's all it needed and wanted to accomplish in the first place. 6/10!

Fresh off "The Dukes of Hazzard", John Schneider is a bad ass agent in South America battling a cocaine lord. Back in the 80's, cocaine was big. Coming from South America, and a federal agent from Miami is out to stop the dope king. His partner is killed, and he wants to avenge him, and end the shipment from hitting the United States. This movie is low budget, but has plenty of action and intrigue. Some of the choreographs are cheesy, but it is not boring. If you like John Schneider as Bo Duke, then this is right up your alley. There's no sliding off the hoods of cars though. A rainy day type of thing here. 2 out of 5 stars.

"A Lone American Hero Challenges The Might Of A Vicious Drug Empire!" Cliff Adams (Schneider) is an American in South America. He works for drug super-kingpin Reyes (Luppi) and his partner General Lujan (Rodolfo Ranni) as their personal pilot and assistant. However, Cliff is a DEA agent working hard, undercover, to bust Reyes' organization. When Marcelo Villalba (John Vitali), a revolutionary, "power to the people"-type politician starts gaining some political momentum, Reyes gets worried, because Villalba is anti-drug. Reyes asks Cliff to kill Villalba. This unleashes a chain of events that sweeps up Cliff and his love interest/reporter Janet (Witt) in the violence. Will Cliff be able to protect Janet, Villalba, and their friend Bailey (Dano) from the thugs of Reyes? Will Reyes succeed in his nefarious drug-running plans? And who are those strange German characters? "Cocaine Wars" somehow manages to be pretty silly, yet unmemorable. Odds are, you will forget this movie very shortly after watching it. Maybe it's the unclear, disjointed way the plot rolls out, or some of the stilted dialogue and wacky dubbing (things that normally make these types of movies worth watching), but there it is. The unshaven John Schneider, who, here at least, is best described as "flatly charismatic", does a competent job as Cliff. His hirsute status gives him a doglike appearance, perhaps a golden retriever. I mean this in the best possible way, of course. Luckily, his mustache saves the movie.

There are the standard car chases and shooting-based action scenes, and the movie would definitely have been remiss in denying Schneider the all-important torture scene. There are some parallels to the Peter Fonda movie Fatal Mission (1990), as well as The Dogs of War (1980) and The Expendables (2010). The main music cue is very similar to the opening notes of Beverly Hills 90210. You think Schneider, after running people off cliffs and such, will at any moment walk into the Peach Pit.

Cocaine Wars is a very 80's subject, and this Roger Corman production, released on the great Media label, perhaps could have been executed better. But at 82 minutes, you can't really go wrong.

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The title and accompanying art work don't hold out much promise but this is a competent piece of film-making with several touches which lift it ever so slightly above the mediocre. However, the material is too routine and predictable to have much impact and its lack of distinction may have helped put an end to John Schneider's movie career. This is unfortunate since Schneider had both youth and size at this point and could possibly have competed with Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, and Chuck Norris for leads in action movies. (Assuming he got a better haircut.)

Schneider plays a man at odds with a South American drug lord and in one scene Schneider is captured and tortured for information by the drug lord's henchmen. He's stripped of his shirt, thus allowing him to show off an impressive but not over-muscled physique, and bound spreadeagled-style. Here, as is common throughout the movie, there's a small but imaginative touch that elevates the otherwise unexceptional proceedings.

As expected, Schneider is forced to endure electroshocks since electricity is almost always the torture of choice in these movies. And, as expected, his pants are left on, thus putting off-limits, in a gentlemanly sort of way, the very parts of his body most vulnerable to electric shocks! This means the sadistic henchman with the cattle-prod restricts himself just to shocks above his victim's waist. (Yes, there's the usual close-up of the tip of the prod being held to one of Schneider's sweaty nipples.)

But the sequence ends with a distinctive flair. Black-gloved hands pry apart Schneider's lips and we see the prod being roughly inserted into his mouth. Now, sticking something into the mouth of a man you're trying to make "talk" may not be very logical, but it gives the scene a sexual connotation that is often missing in these sequences, and it imparts to even a jaded audience the sort of chill that makes them pause and think: "Now, that must REALLY hurt."

Kathryn Witt, the indispensable "girlfriend," makes the most of trite material.

Drugs, sex, violence , bad acting, couple guys clearly have their voices dubbed, nice little car chase with a hilarious outcome... just watched it, it's a great way to burn 90 mins