Assassin

Making TV-movies in the 1980s wasn't all that difficult, in fact. The only thing you needed was enough guts to shamefully rip off an R-rated blockbuster and re-enact it straight-faced, as if you invented everything yourself! It's what writer/director Sandor Stern did, at least, and it worked surprisingly well. "Assassin" is a blatant copy of James Cameron's "The Terminator", although obviously a lot milder in terms of violence and less disturbing when it comes to atmosphere. For example, the cyborg here is also a gentle lover and he (or "it") allows for the innocent Sarah Connors to escape.

Former secret agent Henry Stanton is called out of retirement to stop and destroy a hi-tech but loose cyborg, programmed to kill off a bunch of prominent people that were on the hate list of its deceased creator. The mean machine, wittily named after the folklore creature Golem, is as strong and indestructible as T-800, but he dresses fancily and interrupts his mission to bunk up with a woman who's a dead ringer for Linda Hamilton. Nice! Oh, he must also recharge his batteries after 72 hours of action and adventure, so he's basically the prototype of Elon Musk's Tesla EV-model.

The first hour of "Assassin" is quite enjoyable, thanks to a couple of neat stunts and reasonably suspenseful moments. It is cool how we, together with the amazed and reluctant agent Stanton, discover just how superior and sophisticated the cyborg is. The plot loses its energy and wit, rather ironically, after Golem finishes his battery charging session in the hotel room. After that, the film turns into a mundane and derivative cat-and-mouse thriller, with cliched revelations and a standard finale.

Worth mentioning: the rather unknown and unsung writer/director Sandor Stern did return greatly once, two years after this, with the unique 80s horror gem "Pin".

Story: 1.25/2 - Direction & Pace: 1.25 & 1.25/4 - Performance: 1.25/2 - Entertainment: 1.25/2

Total - 6.25/10

"Assassin," a precious relic from the golden age of TV movies, brings forth a heady concoction of spy intrigue and sci-fi zing, akin to the diplomatic clash of two distinct genres at a quirky drive-in cinema. Picture yourself in the mid-eighties: A lovely time when lustrous hair was big, and TV effects were typically somewhat more modest.

Our fantastic tale unfurls in a world where assassins, red tape, and cyborgs collide in a whirlwind of procedural pandemonium. A shadowy figure, not your average assassin, roams the agency's halls and government chambers, wreaking havoc like a bull in a china shop, albeit a cybernetic one. The crème de la crème of retired operatives is recalled to action, much like a reunion of veteran heroes pulled back for one last tango in the espionage dance. But hold your horses; this cyborg isn't one to be pigeonholed by mere programming.

The ingenious plot, a labyrinthine maze of deft twists and violent turns, carefully unfolds like a skilled magician's reveal, teasing revelations one breadcrumb at a time. Moreover, it's like a favourite old card trick; you admire the sleight of hand, even if you've witnessed it before. However, the beauty lies in the execution, mirroring the precision of the cyborg's window-jumping antics - sharp, effective, and depositing you on the edge of your seat.

Directorial finesse elevates this TV movie beyond its small-screen limitations, graciously offering a unique spectacle that bellows "big budget" with every well-choreographed leap. Sure, the effects might typically draw a chuckle from modern audiences accustomed to CGI wonders, but remember, this was the classic era of VHS and neon leg warmers.

The ensemble cast shines a constellation of talent without a solitary star outshining the rest. This humility serves the story well, focusing on the riveting narrative where intrigue reigns supreme.

"Assassin" is the perfect Sunday night caper or a rainy afternoon escapade, a rare blend of creative intellect and chuckles wrapped in a cyborg's enigmatic cloak. While its ending might not raise eyebrows, its journey is a rollercoaster of realism and astute wit. Take a seat, prepare for an '80s throwback and embrace this thrilling ride - an overlooked gem well worth unearthing from the annals of television lore.

Robert Conrad is called out of retirement by screenwriters who saw at least the opening ten minutes of "Firefox" to stop a man-made killing machine named Robert Golem and played by character actor Richard Young. He's good. Aiding Conrad in his mission are a fetching lady cybernetics expert who helped devise Mr. Golem and several gleefully corrupt CIA agents who excel in not comprehending Golem's one purpose to exist, which is to kill people. Referring to the film as a "Made for TV Terminator" is about right, with the premise of a scientist who programs a hit-list of everyone he can't stand prior to offing himself not outside the realm of possibility even if the robot currently is.

He's some robot too, the tall dark handsome type, which makes sense. Why craft an ugly android who can't function socially? and if you ask me he is the most interesting character in the movie. Standout scenes include a one-night stand with a Linda Hamilton lookalike, leaping from various buildings to land on his feet, straighten his tie and amble off into the night, and a bizarre scene where he hacks an ATM with a greasy haired street punk looking on. He gives the kid a mocking raised eyebrow before sauntering away with his cash, demonstrating that he was also programmed to have at least a vestigial sense of humor. I'd hit the bars with him.

Others may disagree but I find the movie to be an engaging passable timekiller, with some decent action scenes, a healthy body count and an interesting perspective on how unelected government officials often regard the elected ones as obstacles to their wishes to govern the way they'd prefer. Gives one reason to pause in the Pandemic Age about whose line to believe, with scientists or physicians serving as pawns for those who are determined to play by their own rules. Conrad makes a decent lead, even getting the Girl in the end, with the robot's inevitable demise a marvelous laugh-out-loud moment for those who wonder how such things might take place. Easily found on YouTube or any number of bargain-bin DVD movie collections, which is where it likely belongs.

A lame TV movie version of Terminator - sorta. We have a robot that looks human that goes around killing people he's programmed to kill. And it's a very boring film. Mainly a bunch of talk with some action scenes thrown in for some so called excitement.

I have no clue as to the type of film they used to film this movie with but it looks dark and dirty, just dingy looking. A drab film quality to go with a drab story - I guess it works well together.

This is not a film that Terminator fans should seek out - it's not nearly as exciting nor is it a quality film like Terminator. Instead it's just a lame, boring made for TV movie. If you miss this one, you aren't missing anything at all but some ugly 1980s hairstyles and clothing.

1/10

This mid-80s made-for-TV sci-fi thriller takes its cues from The Terminator, with a human-like robot assassin, created by a top secret government agency, programmed to kill those on a hit list compiled by its deluded, deceased designer. Ex-agency operative Henry Stanton (Robert Conrad) reluctantly comes out of retirement to try and stop the renegade mechanical menace, aided by attractive robotics expert Mary Casallas (Karen Austin).

Writer/director Sandor Stern is no James Cameron, but he still manages to deliver a fair bit of tension and some hokey fun from the premise, with his murderous machine (effectively played by Richard Young) interfacing with an ATM to extract cash, taking a couple of high dives from several stories up, leaping over moving cars, opening up compartments in his body to modify himself, and even bedding a desperate bar floozy when his mission calls for it (he's anatomically correct and can go for hours on a full charge!).

The plot does get unnecessarily convoluted and clichéd at times, with Henry haunted by his past, developing a relationship with Mary, and discovering that his superior has been hiding a terrible secret, but Stern just about keeps the pace going right up to the hilariously explosive ending.

5.5 out of 10, rounded up to 6 for IMDb.