Laser Mission

This film is Hilarious.

The Budget was so small that they had to re-use extras repeatedly. There's this one guy who stands out like a sore thumb,

(He's a Black Guy with huge Yellow front teeth), I counted him in the film 22 times, with Brandon Lee killing him 18 of those times !

Editing is the worst I have ever seen .......

Bad guy called: "Col. Kalishnakov" ......

Ernest Borgnine as a German, who speaks with a Russian acent.....

Majority of the crew have never worked on another film.....

This would be brilliant to show in Film School's, for what not to do.

This film is so terribly bad, that its actually Brilliant !

I WAS drunk the first time I saw it, so I laughed more, even still though - You gotta see this film.

We are entreated with a song that sounds like leftover sixties or a Hallmark love story; they keep playing it over and over and over. Michael Gold (Brandon Lee) independent agent or mercenary is tasked with bringing back or killing a laser scientist Prof. Braun (Ernest Borgnine) probably related to Eva. If the scientist's laser knowledge is crossed with the world's biggest diamond it will create, are you ready for this? Nuclear weapons. To do this mission Michael must team up with the professor's libeling daughter Alissa (Michael).

The only problem is that the CIA does not trust him. The daughter turns out to have an annoyingly negative attitude.

Is she for real as she can shoot, drive, and cross 40 miles of desert in high heels?

Is the professor what he seems as he seems chummy with the bad guys?

Is Sgt. Roberta (Maureen Lahoud) a sergeant or a girl? In any case, she is part of a Laurel and Hearty team.

Like a cheap Bond movie will Gold get the professor, diamond, and daughter? Does he want to?

After you get the bad taste of this movie out of your mouth, watch Ernest Borgnine put his accent to effective use in "Ice Station Zebra" (1968)

In only his second leading role, Brandon Lee already shows charisma and even a gift for self-parody, and he particularly shines when he's allowed to show his terrific fighting skills....unfortunately there is much more gun action than hand-to-hand combat here. His co-star, Debi Monahan, is not much of a fighter, but she's sexy, she can handle a gun and if there was a "best cleavage" award in the movies then I think she would have won it that year. Watching these two almost makes up for the forced "comic relief" from the secondary characters, the monotonous action, the confusing geography and the low production values. But who thought it was a good idea to have Ernest Borgnine waving a shotgun and running around in the desert at his age? (Happy belated 89th birthday, by the way!) (**)

...not only did he have a short career and died before he was able to break out, but he starred in a TERRIBLE movie that somehow lost its copyright and is now widely available in bargain bins in Wal-Marts and K-Marts all across North America!

Those who like so-bad-they're-good movies may enjoy this, if they can get past Brandon's humiliation. His character is unbelievably obnoxious, with snide remarks and an egotistical attitude that make it hard to root for him. Still, there's a lot to laugh at here. Unbelievably cheap production values, unbelievably goofy dialogue, "comic" relief that's so bad that it becomes funny (though not in the way intended!), and Borgnine's bad German accent (which fades in and out!) Incidently, it looks like Borgnine knocked off his scenes with only four or so days of shooting!

One genuinely positive thing to say about the movie: some of the desert locations do look spectacular. If anything good will come out of this fiasco, it may be that it will inspire some filmmaker (B movie or otherwise) to use these desert locations as a good backdrop for a far superior movie.

I can't say much that hasn't already been said brilliantly. Obviously, many of you love the bad movies the way I do.

For those of you reading this who have not seen the film, I'll tell you exactly why you should watch it: It's Brandon Lee in a feature-length Mentos commercial. I kid you not. The look and feel of this movie simply scream "The Freshmaker." You know you want to see it now.

And just to correct one bit of info someone else posted, the one and only song used in this movie (over and over and over) is indeed by David Knopfler. David was not, however, in Dire Straits. That was his brother Mark. This movie was only able to afford David. Sorta like getting Ted Mellencamp. Not good.