Empire of the Dark

#264 Empire of the Dark - 1991 (This Film Rates a B- ) This horror film follows buff and mustachioed former police officer turned bounty hunter, Richard Flynn. He attempts to save his girlfriend, Angela, from a brutal satanic cult but she is eventually murdered. He does save a baby upon her dying request. Flash forward to 20 years later, Richard learns that that baby named Terry is his actual son. They navigate a complex plot involving a satanic cult, mutant zombie slaves, ninja assassins that resemble life sized Jawa's and a very personal vendetta. Terry believes his mother (Angela) is still alive and convinces Richard to investigate. The story jumps between Richard's past and present, and he agrees to team up with Terry to rescue Angela from the cult's clutches and battle Claymation Satan himself. Richard is a total b-movie bad ass in his quest to save the day, but it has an all too happy sappy ending. The film's low-budget aesthetic is evident in its sets, special effects, poor script and high school theatrics. The gore and effects are laughable but fun. Its campy charm and over-the-top drama make it highly entertaining and watchable. There wasn't a moment of boredom. While its production values are completely lacking, the film's energy and unintentional humor make it succeed where it shouldn't. Just know what you are getting yourself into and enjoy. This is pretty brilliant in a terrible sort of way plus Richard's mustache is also pretty righteous.

HEY EVERYBODY ITS ME (4) and today we review "rowsdower: the destroyer" ...the movie !!!!!!!

Take 2 parts "final sacrifice" one part "the devils rain" ad some star wars jawas , a little pinch of "cobra" (maybe even a tiny bit of evil dead about the hour mark) and BAM you have this film ......im about 90% positive this thing was made for the sole purpose of satisfying the lead dude/directors NEED to play S. C. A. During the off season with his sword lol...he said ..."you know what , i can do the swords, AND i got a devil hand puppet!!! ...imma make an entire movie bout that !!!!!!!!!!" AND of course hire that ray harry house guy .......

for a film made in 1990 i would have thought it was made in the late 70's or early 80's ..... its got the campy acting, wierd music and stylized feel of older film in general. .... good or bad depending on your tastes ... the FX range from ..decent, to ... well that was ....something ? ... lol........ i mean the less is more they do for the "devil beast" in the beginning...good job .. BUT the devil beast big reveal ??....... LOL .... please no ..... i know you needed the climax but ouch .... it was a bit silly and even for the 1990 era that would have been a rough one ...... again the late 70s absolutely that would have been considered a classic now .... and loved for its cutting edge special FX .... BUT the 90s those were special ed FX at best .......

over all this movie DOES remind me ALOT of the final sacrifice film made famous by mystery science theater 3000 ......it got a lot of like minded aspects to it, cult guys after the rough rugged mustache man and some "kid" along for the ride, yadda yadda .... and IF this would have been some sort of continuation of the adventures of mr. Rowsdower for real .... i believe it would have been awesome for the fans of that episode OF mst3k BUT as it sits its not ..so it sadly loses that possible momentum for a second life in an underground cult statis for that ......

the film its self standing alone .... MEH .... wasnt the best thing .. wasnt the worst thing, if your into cheesy old flicks or just need to have something on while your busy doing other things things ...sure.... but its nothing that if you DONT see it your going to miss something so impactful or life changing ..... about average on the entertainment , and everything is just kind of floating around that mark .........

4/10.

I agree with what other reviewers have said about this incredibly ambitious schlockfest. It really is a testament to one man's desire to be an action hero on par with Schwarzenegger and Stallone (I believe our hero's kill count must rival that in Arnold's "Commando").

Two highlights for me:

The special effects and visuals employ every trick from the pre-CGI book: stop-motion animation, puppetry, forced perspective, matte paintings. The effects are terrible, but you can't help but be impressed with the amount of work put into them. My personal favorites are the photographic stills used for establishing shots.

The score, by the late John Morgan, deserves recognition. It is a rousing affair well-suited for a Saturday afternoon matinee.

A totally insane vanity project that's so earnest you can't help but give the dude mad props for the valiant attempt. Sure he failed on almost every level, but it's such a spectacular failure that it transcends moviemaking into something new. Totally worth watching!

They used the type of dummies like on later seasons of Married with Children. My brother watched with me and we had a had to pause and rewind due to missing parts from laughing so hard. I teared up and will probably be sore tomorrow. The early parts with the ninja jawas were so funny I'm posting before even finishing the movie. It has been a rough week, and this movie absolutely gave us some much needed time laughing and forgetting the problems of the world. For reference, for me it seemed kinda like a better version of Samurai Cop (I recommend the Rifftrax version). Thank you so much for this film. It was perfect therapy for us.