Deadly Manor

Some friends break down and don't want to stay in the car as it thunderstorms, so they hike to an abandoned house, let themselves in, and are surprised when a masked killer does away with them for breaking into their house.

Nothing about Deadly Manor makes any sense. Even the premise itself is silly. What rational group of people would all nod their heads and say "yes" to the idea of breaking into a creepy looking mansion in the middle of nowhere just so they won't have to stay in their car as it rains? Even at under 90 minutes, the film drags because we can't relate to any of these people why they're doing what they're doing. You'd think that, knowing their premise was inept, they'd at least try to spice it up with some clever kills here and there, but I can't remember a single kill in this movie and I watched it last night.

I'm trying to understand what would possess a bunch of people to say "hey, let's break into this creepy house because it's about to rain. Even if someone lives there, I'm sure they won't mind." Was this a thing people used to do or was it always something that only ever happened in bad B-movies?

Other than that, Deadly Manor also happens to be one of the most boring movies I've ever seen in my life.

Spanish-American co-production slasher film, directed by José Ramón Larraz (Vampyres, 1974). A group of REALLY idiotic 'teens' (plus a mysterious hitchhiker) travelling through upstate New York on their way to vacation at a lake decide to stop off and spend the night in an apparently abandoned mansion. Despite finding an old, severely damaged car bizarrely parked on top of a stone monument in the grounds, as though the whole thing is some kind of a shrine, several coffins in the basement, and what appears to be a human scalp, they decide they'll stay anyway. Eventually (surprise!), one by one they start getting bumped off.

This was made in 1990; the 80s slasher boom had passed, and Scream had yet to pump new life into the genre. The first half is very slow, taking a while to get going as far as kills are concerned, the acting ranges from bad to barely passable, and the killer's motivation is ridiculous. But the location (a genuinely abandoned house, demolished soon after the shoot) is very creepy, the girls are cute (the absolutely stunning Claudia Franjul was tragically killed in real life just five years after this in a traffic accident at the age of just 24), and if throat slashings are your thing you could do worse. Some female nudity. 5/10.

A bunch of idiots break down on the side of the road and decide to break into a mansion and things, predictably, don't end well for them as someone who lives there starts killing them one by one in the most uninspired and bland ways imaginable. When all a horror film has going for it is a decently atmospheric location, you know you're in trouble.

A bunch of idiots break down and decide to break into a mansion they don't own that's in the middle of the woods. Obviously, someone who lives there isn't thrilled and kills them in uninspired ways.

Deadly Manor is one of the worst movies I've ever been unfortunate enough to view. The plot is non-existent, the characters are idiotic, and the kills aren't gory or interesting enough to make up for it. It does have a great central location, but that's about all I can recommend about it.