Graverobbers

Nora Mae Edwards (Elizabeth Mannino) is a waitress at a tiny dine who gets swept off her feet by wealthy John Henry Cox (David Gregory). Well, not really. She accepts his marriage proposal after knowing him for all of three minutes ("I've waited for something like this my whole life"). He takes her to his home of New Bury, New York and they get married in the Cox family funeral home (ah, romance!). Of course, things aren't as they seem in this small town and soon Nora Mae finds out the locals are all horny necrophiliacs because, well, they just are. This low budget horror film comes from writer-director Straw Weisman and producer Lew Mishkin (son of William). It is really a mixed bag as the production is pretty horrendous at points (the music changes sound like someone moving the needle to separate tracks on a record and the voice overs are horrendous) and the script is a total nightmare (they couldn't think up a better story than a random guy picking up a waitress; why not have them start as college sweethearts and he is finally taking her home to meet the family?). Yet there is something oddly compelling about the film. Maybe it is the small town or the gore effects. Or maybe its just that I'm not that discerning of a viewer? Only recommended if you have the desire to see a guy riding a motorcycle with his skin peeling off at top speeds.

Here's another obscure and long-forgotten 80's horror flick (it never ceases to amaze me that I keep on discovering unknown gems from that decade) that certainly might appeal to fans of the genre with an interest in unorthodox and slightly deviant concepts. It looks like another dull and discouraging day for roadside diner waitress Norma Mae. She just declined the advances of a sleazy condom salesman guy when a tall dark stranger by the name of John Henry walks in and promptly asks her to marry him. Completely bedazzled but flattered, Norma Mae accepts the proposal and accompanies him to his hometown of Newville, 100 miles up the expressway. She quickly discovers that nothing is kosher in the little town where her husband works as a funeral director. The entire population shares a sick fetish for dead persons and the elite town members gather in Henry's funeral home for a series of sick and perverted rituals whenever there's a fresh cadaver. When Norma Mae witnesses a twisted ceremony on the corpse of an unfortunate cheerleader who died in a peculiar car accident, she righteously wonders herself why Henry so desperately wanted a new spouse on such a short notice. "Dead Mate" is a low-budgeted and often clumsily handled B-movie, but it nevertheless benefices from a rather macabre ambiance and the controversy around the necrophilia theme. The town members are very well cast and there are numerous delightfully demented dialogs, like "this is the only true form of safe sex. You can't get aids from dead people". The other reviewers are correct in their comparisons of this movie with the modest early 80's classic "Dead & Buried". The film has the same morbid vibes, albeit minus the suspense and shocking aftertaste. "Dead Mate" is by no means a hidden treasure or a must-see, but certainly worth a peek if you like bizarre stuff.

This is a true candidate for the absolute worst movie ever made - worse even than Manos The Hands of Fate. Everything about this movie is terrible. Absolutely everything. From the dialog including lines like "Stop! In the name of love, Stop!", to the original song "I don't sleep with strangers", sung as if performed by a muppet, to the end credits which roll so painfully slow that one could use them for eye charts (also allowing time for further musical injustices to be performed), there is not a single frame of cinematic value here.

I recommend viewing by true horror and movie buffs, simply as a showcase for how bad bad can get. This truly sets a new standard against which all bad movies may be judged.

I saw this on a DVD double-bill with Andy Milligan's "Monstrosity". I see where people say "Graverobbers" (a.k.a "Dead Mate") is the worst movie ever. I dunno, I kinda think "Manos: Hands of Fate" is worse, but this merely a matter of semantics; both are awful bad. But, the other film on this DVD, "Monstrosity" is certainly worse than "Graverobbers". Both films were well-pared. Both are tasteless, cheap exploitation films, and surprisingly, "Graverobbers" has the higher production values of the two. The director of "Graverobbers" had once worked with "Monstrosity" creator Andy Milligan. Imagine, both incredibleminds and their films on one disc!

The thing is, as tasteless as "Graverobbers" is, it is still more entertaining (again, semantics) than "Monstrosity". At least I was (sort of) rooting for the heroine in "Graverobbers", and well, the production values in that film were better. "Monstrosity" cannot escape its bargain-basement production values, its hideous, altering tone, and the most grating lead performance (by Haal Borske) in my long term memory.

But, that's not to say "Graverobbers" is any good. It's low-grade direct to video nonsense that is about as useful as J. Lo's nipple-tweeker. Of course, at least that guy has a skill.

The makers of "Graverobbers" display no skill that I can descern. Granted, some parts were funny (a category "Monstrosity" fails in, unintentional laughs aside), but I think even there I give "Graverobbers" too much credit.

Forget any of the praise. Just avoid that double-feature DVD disc, because the side effects of watching both films on the same day will leave you sticking your tongue in a power outlet because you can't take another minute of the pain...

Unless you enjoy the bottom-of-the-barrel bad movies...

It's a joke. It has to be a joke. Nothing in this "movie" qualifies it to be a serious attempt at film making. The directing is so inept, half the time characters aren't doing anything until after the camera has rolled for a couple of seconds. The acting is as unemotional in some places as a wall of cinder block. The "special" effects include stage hands throwing viles of chemicals onto the floor, or skin peeling off someone on a motorcycle going 35 mph down the road. The story is lamer than a horse missing two legs. There is nothing to save this movie other than a few desperate attempts at decent camera work, but those are so few and far in between, it's not even worth mentioning.

The movie wasn't a test to watch, but it certainly wasn't what I call enjoyable. Watch at your own risk.

Scott's judgment: "Stop - making this movie. In the name of love, stop."