Les Bannis de Gor

The only reason I actually sat through this entire movie is because I happened to be an extra in it and was curious to see myself on the big screen. They shot some of the scenes in South Africa, in and around an old mine dump just outside my home town (Benoni). As poor students, my buddy and I thought it would be a fun way to make extra money being extras in movies during vacations, and it kinda was. We made a load of spare cash too, since the movie makers were exploiting the currency exchange rate at the time and paid pretty well (for us at the time anyway).

Anyway, the movie was laughable, and even during filming I could tell that it was going to be. If you ever happen to see this movie, there is a fight scene where the hero kills his attacker with a big (wooden) sword by clearly stabbing the ground next to his chest. Do I need to say more?

No, not really. Possibly the most disturbing "buffalo shot" in cinematic history (the poor dwarf in the bearskin diaper bares all as he climbs down a building face.) Obviously I've only seen the MST version, but even that was hard going. It made for quite a funny episode, though. If it ever comes out on home video, check it out. Just avert your eyes when you see the dangling dwarf. ..

My theory: The producers of this film first made the movie "Gor". It only took them four days. Then someone noticed that they still had three days left on their equipment rentals, so they decided to film a second movie. Someone put together a script while on a potty break. They used the same sets, the same props, and much the same cast. The end result was "Outlaw of Gor".

Jack Palance must have been hard-up for money to do this. It ranks up there with the biggest wastes of talent in movie history, right next to Max von Sydow in "Strange Brew" and Sir Lawrence Olivier in "Clash of the Titans".

Wow, is this flick ever a heaping mound of elephant dung. The terrible skimpy metallic costumes and lame dance routines done by the few women "acting" in this film can't have been made in 1989... who was lame enough to continue fads from 1983 at this point in their career? It's a good "bad movie" to watch MST3K-style, though... although seeing Jack Palance in this just made me cry. Was he forced to do it? Did he really need the money? Poor Jack. Must be pretty embarassing to be a supporting actor with top billing. Rent it and weep, my friends!

Ah, Gor. I really used to think Cave Dwellers was pretty crappy, but Outlaw of Gor makes me wish Ator could skewer Cabot while Thong pummels Watney Smith into submission. Having seen Outlaw several times, I must admit, it does tend to get better and you catch even more hilarity. The strange thing is that the humor is so unintentional since the actors really play their roles so seriously! Also, add to the fact that Outlaw is preceded by Gor which makes following the plot (what plot??) a difficult task indeed.

Jack Palance really looks annoyed in almost every scene he's in. Maybe it's those really goofy hats he wears and his facial expression which says "I have more talent in my pinky fingernail than all these scum actors combined." Urbano is less than mediocre as Cabot, but is less painful to watch than Russel Savadier's portrayal of sex starved Watney. Try not to regurgitate during his massages (EWW!). The barely clad nymphs in the film add a little (and I do stress little) enjoyment to the film especially the terrific acting of Donna Denton whose "Get out of here, you disgusting worm!" speech may be the highlight of the entire movie. That or any scene with Nigel "Kermit" Chipps.

There must've have been so many Seymour Butts jokes during the making of this film.