Hellgate, cité de l'enfer

I really have to ask myself what I expected from a movie that has Ron Pallilio from Welcome Back Kotter as the male lead sex symbol. Not much, I guess and that's exactly what I got! Not much! When I popped the DVD of Hellgate on I realized less than five minutes into it that I had seen this movie over ten years ago. You don't forget acting this bad! So the movie starts with three friends waiting for their fourth friend Matt (Horseshack!) to show up at their vacation spot. They while away the time telling ghost stories. One girl deadpans the tale of The Legend Of Hellgate, which is apparently the next town over. In a flashback we see an attempted rape gone bad that happened in Hellgate in the '50s. A bunch of no-good-nick bikers are at the malt shop and they decide to grab the big cheese mayor of Hellgate's daughter Josie and drive away with her. None of the town folk try to stop them. They drive Josie to a secluded area and rip her skirt off and Josie runs around in black underwear, bobby socks and sneakers looking like she should be doing an 80s aerobics video. (I swear they hired Abigail Wolcott to play "Josie" because she had nice legs...She even "strikes poses" while being carried away and raped! ) Well, her father - who is a dead ringer for Gomez Addams- comes to rescue her and in the process Josie gets iced.

Later on a guy in a mine finds a strange crystal that has the power to reanimate dead things. Here is where the cheesy special effects ("done by the people who did the effects in Hellraiser and Hellbound " the box trumpets!) debut as we see a very fake looking bat, a very fake looking fish and a very fake looking turtle spring back to murderous mutant life. (The turtle scene is actually pretty funny). Josie's papa goes to Josie's shrine (even her headstone has breast implants!) and reserrects Josie so she can lure people to the ghost town for him to kill. Why? I don't know why! Josie picks up Horseshack on the side of the road and seduces him. The seduction scene is a laugh riot! the music is insane! And I had never realized what a bad actor Horseshack is until I saw this: Even his sex scenes are unconvincing! And he's a pretty small guy. When he's lying in bed with Josie naked he's so small compared to her that he looks like a doll! Hahaha! Matt meets up with his friends and drags THEM to Hellgate . Why? I don't know. But they go. And of course they run afoul some zombie ghost town people who chase them around and try to kill them. Josie falls in love with Matt for reasons unknown and Matt's girlfriend is not amused.

Will Matt stay with the living dead girl or go home with his plain Jane girlfriend? Or will the zombies and John Astin's doppelganger kill him? Hellgate is a terrible film all the way around with bad acting, bad script, bad special effects, etc. but there was something FUNNY about it that kept me watching so if you like bad movies like I do you might actually find some entertainment in watching HELLGATE. I will watch it again one day just to watch Josie strike strange Vogue-like poses, a dead turtle bite someones face off and to see Horseshack in the raw again. Comic gold all three!

Speaking of bad movies, if you are lucky you will get the two disc set that not only has Hellgate but also has The Pit. The Pit is even funnier than Hellgate, a real laugh riot! So check that one out! Peace!

Hellgate is an old Californian mining town that is now populated by ghosts, zombies and a creepy looking guy that owns a glowing magical crystal. He uses this for things such as reanimating the dead, causing living things to drastically change physically, create explosions, etc. Four college friends (two couples) find themselves trapped there. Hellgate was filmed in South Africa and the first thing that becomes apparent is the bad acting, the "American" accents are terribly fake. Another thing that is obvious is that the "kids" are played by actors older than their characters, the leading guy was 40 when he appeared in this! The movie has plenty of special effects some of which are quite gory, for example an axe in a head kill, another sees fingers being cut off, etc. We get plenty of sex and nudity plus for atmosphere the fog machine works overtime. This movie obviously wasn't intended to be taken seriously, a goldfish expands into a large hideous fish that bursts its glass bowl before exploding, there is a talking decapitated head in a fridge, and so on. Best looking chick award goes to Abigail Wolcott for playing the sexy blonde ghost Josie, at one point she goes for a nude stroll across a ballroom dance floor. Part of the plot is set in the 1950's so we are treated to some old rock and roll records, the soundtrack also features classical music, a ghostly performance of the Can Can being a "highlight". I first watched Hellgate in VHS many years ago and recall being disappointed, however having just watched it again, this time on DVD, I found it entertaining but in the trashy sense. Booze helped!

Intriguing horror film about a young woman who is kidnapped and murdered. Years later she returns as a ghost who lures travelers to a ghost town filled with zombies and other various creatures to die. However, she falls in love with her latest victim and is intent on keeping him to herself. Good complex premise with detailed characterizations and many interesting flashback scenes and other various legends, but poor acting & special effects and almost inept direction destroy it. Rated R; Graphic Violence, Profanity, Nudity, and Sexual Situations.

Yes, this is a horrible movie. But look at all of the *good* things. Gratuitous sex. Random psychopaths. Gratuitous slow-motion action sequences. Similar visual effects as Hellraiser (the really cheesy Hellraiser effects, granted...). Gratuitous exploding things for no particular reason. It's b-horror at its best. Laughed the whole way through it! Though, I have to admit, the final body count was a bit of a disappointment...

I admit it...I made a terrible rookie mistake when I bought this VHS ten years ago. I was a young enthusiastic horror fan and the cover showed a nasty, aggressive skull. Above that, written in bloody letters was the title : HELLGATE !! This must be sooooo cool, I thought and I bought it. OK, now I'm a bit grown up ( physical, that is )and I know now that these kinds of covers are an indicator that the movie will be a terrible 80's cheesefest without a plot, laughable terror and annoying characters. And Hellgate fits right in to this category ! We're talking bats on strings, flashy blue stones of mystery and that sort of stuff...That's the whole basic idea, by the way. In an old ghost town ( called Hellgate...duh!) a rich guy discovers a blue stone. This stone can make the dead come to live again but if you aim it towards a creature that already lives...it dies in a gruesome way. This is found out because they test the ray on a goldfish ! I tell you, that's one of the cheesiest scenes ever. Anyway, the story goes on a couple of teenagers bla bla bla bla...the usual stuff which you already know and have seen many times before only better. The acting is hilariously bad, the tension is nowhere to detect and the opening scene ( which is some sort of flashback ) looks like an evil version of Grease. In conclusion : You'd rather visit you're mother in law and give her a foot-massage instead of watching this...