Dracula's Widow

Okay, since I retired I have a LOT of those idle hours, and I'm happy to find amusing moving-picture shows like this one to fill them.

That being said, what is with the incessant synthsizer/organ/whiney thingy playing EVERY SECOND of the movie?

Some scenes call for music, others don't. The music guy for this video never blinks his ping-pong eyes. His philosophy is "Hey, don't forget this is scary -- Hey, don't forget this is supposed to be scary -- Hey, Hey. Hey! HEY!"

My first six wives didn't make this much noise. Even during the disembowelments.

My advice: Turn the sound off, and turn on the captions.

Soft-core sex star Silvia Kristel plays Vanessa, Dracula's widow, who bites Hollywood wax museum owner Raymond (Lenny von Dohlen), making him her unwilling slave. Josef Sommer plays Lieutenant Hap Lannon, whose investigation into a series of brutal murders leads him to believe that a vampire is on the loose in tinseltown.

Call me crazy, but I actually prefer Christopher Coppola's Dracula's Widow over his uncle Francis Ford Coppola's 1992 version of Dracula: it might not be as technically polished or as star-studded as Francis's film, but it's more fun - a schlocky vampire yarn with wooden performances, hokey special effects, a smattering of nudity (although Kristel keep her clothes on for a change), some surprisingly graphic gore and an over-use of strong coloured lighting. It's trash, but it's entertaining trash.

6/10.

N. B. The greatest Coppola family vampire film is Vampire's Kiss (1988), starring Christopher's brother, Nicolas Cage - that one is wild. Cage also appeared in the 2023 vampire film Renfield, which isn't as great, but still worth a look.

I saw this film back in 1989 and bought it at a video store for $1.00. I feel the same way about this film as I did back then: it's craptacular!

The SFX is crappy (ESPECIALLY the make-up)and a lot of the plot is garbage (If Vanessa was so much in love with her husband, how could she not know that he was dead?)and the acting is just HORRIBLE!!! (Sylvia Kristel is just BAD!!!).

Still...

It makes for a fun evening! Just great for a horrible horror movie fest!

The only reason I am commenting on this dumb '80s B-movie is because this is the first R-rated movie I rented at the video store when I was 14 back in 1990. It wasn't the first R-rated movie I saw in my life, but I remember this was the first one I rented and got away with renting at 14. So I will always remember this stupid piece of filth. I was hoping for loads of nudity and plenty of sex scenes back at that age. I spent the whole time fast forwarding to "the good parts", but alas there really weren't any. There is very BRIEF nudity in here and ZERO sex. Oh yeah, the story sucks too and its not scary or interesting in the least bit.

I didn't expect a masterpiece in "Dracula's Widow" of 1989, but I was still somehow disappointed. Directed by Nicholas Cage's brother Christopher Coppola and starring 70s sex icon "Emanuelle" Sylvia Kristel, "Dracula's Widow" may not look like a promising Horror film as such, but at least I expected an entertaining sleaze and gorefest. My humble expectations were not reached, however, since the film features hardly any sleaze and the gore is existent, but not to an extent that would make the movie worthwhile. The performances are amateurish, of course, but that was to be expected, so I don't regard the lack of acting talent as a flaw. Nothing in the movie really makes any sense, and it is only the joy of seeing Sylvia Kristel as a lady vampire, as well as some pretty funny parts that make the 86 minutes endurable. My favorite character is an old antique dealer who happens to be Dr. Van Helsing's grandson. In the funniest part of the movie, the old fellow, who looks like a friendly grandpa, takes out a hammer in a morgue, driving a stake through a corpse's heart with the words "In the name of my grandfather, I destroy you". Moments like this (and Sylvia) make the movie bearable, but it is definitely quite tiresome, even though it's not even 90 minutes long. This was the first "Dracula" attempt by a Coppola family member, Christopher's famous (and usually brilliant) uncle Francis came along with a kitschy and over-hyped mainstream Dracula film in 1992. As far as I am concerned, the Coppolas would be well advised to keep their hands off the Prince Of Darkness in the future. "Dracula's Widow" is only recommended if you really have nothing better to do.