Alienator

Alienator (1990)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

With Fred Olen Ray directing and just looking at the title and what movie it's "copying" you should know what to expect. Kol (Ross Hagen) is about to be executed when he escapes his planet so the commander (Jan-Michael Vincent) sends a female alien to Earth to try and track him down. Kol ends up running into a sheriff and five drunks and soon they're caught up in this battle. There's no big secret that ALIENATOR is a pretty bad movie but I have to give credit to director Fred Olen Ray for at least knowing he's making a low-budget, bad movie. The reason I say that is that I often get the itch to watch a movie like this and more often than not you have a director thinking he's working with a $200-million dollar budget. The young director will try tricky shots, various plot twists and by the end of the movie you're asking yourself if the guy knew he was just making a piece of junk and you'll wonder why he thought he could do more with it. Mr. Ray doesn't go for that and instead it's clear that he knows what type of movie he's making and he just tries to make the best of it. This is certainly a bad film but at least there's some mild charm to be had. I thought there were a couple fairly funny moments but the highlight has to be the costume that our female killer wears. I'm not even going to attempt to try and explain it but once you see the thing you'll know what I mean. I also have to tip my hat to the outfit worn by P.J. Soles (HALLOWEEN, CARRIE) because it too is quite catchy and you can tell some imagination went into it. The special effects are obviously silly but it appears they're having a fun time with them. Yes, the performances are also bad but again credit has to go to Ray. Instead of trying to get the actors to do Shakespeare, he instead has some over-the-top moments that at least fits the performances. The violence/gore/nudity level is shockingly low, which is one negative thing as a bit more of any probably would have helped things. ALIENATOR is a bad film, yes, but when you compare it to other rips of THE TERMINATOR you'll see that it could have been much, much worse.

Recipe for one of the worst movies of all time: a she-male villain who looks like it escaped from the WWF, has terrible aim with a gun that has inconsistent effects (the first guy she shoots catches on fire but when she shoots anyone else they just disappear) and takes time out to pet a deer. Then you got the unlikable characters, 30 year old college students, a lame attempt at a surprise ending and lots, lots more. Avoid at all costs.

Ok, I admit I'm something of a nut for bad movies. And this dog certainly falls into that category with a vengance. But those who even *think* this compares to the worst movie of all time - or even comes close - really need to watch more bad movies. The perennial favorite 'worst movie of all time' (Plan 9 from Space) is definately worse than this (though it's not the worst movie).

THis movie is great if you like bad movies, and even better if you like to MST your own. If you expect Gone with the Wind or even such dreck as "Angels in the Outfield", this is not for you.

My review was written in November 1989 after watching the film on Prism video cassette.

"Alienator" is a tongue-in-cheek sci-fi thriller geared toward home video fans with a soft spot for the old stars and old-fashioned serials.

Film dovetails closely with previous pics by Fred Olen Ray, particularly "Star Slammer", in a tale of rebel leader Ross Hagen, who escapes execution on a remote prison planet and travels to Earth. Muscle lady Teagan Clive (as the title "Alienator" character) is sent to destroy him and his Earthling youngsters, Jesse Dabson and Dawn Wildsmith, who have befriended Hagen.

The appearance of genre vets like Robert Clarke and Robert Quarry is a plus, but "Alienator" suffers from a weak script. Leads Jan-Michael Vincent and John Phillip Law have little to do; Wildsmith is cast against type in an uncharacteristically wimpy role, and P. J. Soles is stuck in a rather goofy costume as an outer space technician.

Not enough is made of Teagan Clive, the Alienator. She's strange and awesome looking in a revealing heavy metal outfit but had a much better role in the Italian horror film "Obsesion: A Taste for Fear".

Tech credits are adequate.

...It just ain't that good. Prolific B movie director Fred Olen Ray has certainly done better. Despite the efforts of a very solid B movie cast, it fails to ever be as much fun as it should be.

Part of the problem is that Ray never is able to get much momentum going. "Alienator" plods too much for this sort of thing, it's full of nondescript characters, it's not much for continuity, its special effects are something less than special, and when all is said and done it ends with more of a whimper than a bang.

Too bad; the premise had some potential. A typically dull Jan-Michael Vincent plays a cranky warden on a prison spaceship who has one of his prisoners, a rebel leader named Kol (Ross Hagen) escape from him. So what he does is send Amazonian 'hunter unit' The Alienator (played by female bodybuilder Teagan Clive) after the fugitive, who's crash landed on Earth and made contact with some hapless Earthlings, including forest ranger Ward Armstrong (John Phillip Law).

Clive is quite a sight, and she does what she has to do well enough, although her character is nowhere near as cool or memorable as Arnold Schwarzeneggers' The Terminator. Her right hand and arm are encased in a laser weapon that weirdly sets its first victim on fire but then just makes the rest of the victims disappear.

The assemblage of talent here is truly impressive: also in the cast are P.J. Soles (wearing an oddly revealing outfit), Dawn Wildsmith, Richard Wiley, Jesse Dabson, and Dyana Ortelli; Wiley plays the most utterly insufferable of the various humans. Fox Harris (to whom the movie is dedicated) and Hoke Howell play a knuckle head pair of hunters, and it's a treat to see such veterans as Robert Clarke, Leo Gordon, and Robert Quarry (although Quarry, sadly, doesn't get to do a whole lot.) Horror fans will be delighted to see Joseph Pilato (a.k.a. Captain Rhodes from Romeros' "Day of the Dead") in a small role as a technician.

The location shooting in Topanga Canyon is fine, but otherwise this movie is underwhelming. Ray just doesn't give it much pizazz. If you're a very undemanding schlock lover, you may get some entertainment out of it, but it will likely bore most other viewers.

Five out of 10.