Woodchipper Massacre

I've never actually seen this film but can tell you one thing about its production. While a comedy/oldies radio DJ in 1988, I got a call from the production company. They asked if I'd write and record a bit they'd drop into the soundtrack as sounds eminating from a TV (the television screen itself would never be shown). I said sure, wrote a parody of '50s sci-fi monster clichés, rounded up some sound effects and called in another DJ, Pam Landry, to play the female part. As she happened to be on the air at the time, she put on a long song, joined me at the mike in the production room and we cut the voicetrack in a single take. Giggling, she then went back to her show while I mixed in the goofy sound effects. We'd have never done it if we'd known that "Woodchipper Massacre" was going to be such a turkey -- but, then again, we never got paid for our efforts, either! -- Gary Theroux

I didn't know what to expect other than a killer killing people with a wood chipper. The story was funny and predictable but entertaining overall.

Another amateurish late '80s SOV horror film filmed in rural Connecticut. It's essentially a sitcom with a horror-themed plot. Three kids are left at home when their father goes on a business trip out of state and leaves them in the care of their vile, abusive aunt (played by writer-director Jon McBride's mother), when she is accidentally killed, the kids dispose of her body via a woodchipper and then have to deal with the aunt's deadbeat son who comes for a visit. Okay for its weird theme, but nothing really special.

"Woodchipper Massacre" is a classic example of a movie where one will be conditioned to expect certain things given the title, and director Jon McBrides' track record. But it's not an over the top splatterfest with a high body count. McBride, approaching the material like a sitcom, instead makes it a nearly bloodless dark comedy.

Three children: Jon (played by the writer / director), Denice (Denice Edeal), and Tom (Tom Casiello) have their Aunt Tess (Patricia McBride) forced on them when their dad (Perren Page) goes out of town on a business trip. She's a grumpy, moralizing holier than thou type, and is pretty insufferable. When she accidentally dies, the kids realize that the means of covering their asses is within reach...

It's understandable if you initially feel frustrated with this one, and think you were suckered in by false advertising. But if you are able to finally appreciate the movie for what it is, and not fret over what it isn't, it does provide some fairly amusing entertainment. The filmmaking is actually not that bad for a micro budget "shot on video" effort, although the music score is so godawful that it's a gas. The performances are hilariously absurd, although these characters do grow on you after a while. The scenario eventually turns into a time honored "beat the clock" sort of deal, as you wonder if the kids will be able to cover up their assorted crimes before Dad can return home early from his trip.

Decent entertainment with some blackly humorous moments.

Six out of 10.

Definitely one of the best shot-on-video movies to come out of the Northeast in the late 80's. Tom Casiello's air guitar scene makes this movie worth renting alone.