Le Clandestin

Ha! Well let me see here, this is one of the most oddest horror flicks I have ever seen in my life. It's about a mutant cat that goes around killing people. A monster that looks like a beaver on crack jumps out of the cat's mouth and bites people. Who in the h*ll thought of this? Who ever wrote this movie was on crack. To be honest whenever the creature pops out of the cat's mouth it looks like the cat is giving birth the wrong way. There's even a scene where a truck drives off a bridge and it turns in to a different truck. First before it falls off the bridge it's a Dodge, then when it goes off it's a Ford. What is this? My god what a waste of money. George Kennedy is in it and boy did he make a mistake. If you see this movie on the self at your local movie store, AVOID!!!!!!!! Trust me, unless you like movies with cat's that look like there giving birth the wrong way, avoid it!. I give this movie a 1 out of ten, just because George Kennedy was in it.

A group of scientists accidentally let a cute cuddly cat escape from their lab. What's so scary about a cute feline that one could possibly see on LOLcats?? Well this cat has a smaller badder mutant cat living inside it's mouth that comes out to kill people. (and sometimes grows to be the size of a biggish dog) Now don't you feel silly for asking. Anyways, after the dastardly pussy escapes we catch up with two gals dressed in the most atrocious '80's garb being invited to a mafioso's yacht party along with three other jackasses as well as cat whom shows up unexpectedly trapped in a box. Then the fun starts...

Well maybe 'fun' isn't the right word, the idea is somewhat original, but a Chinese film by the name of "Xiong mao" or translated as Evil Cat came out a year before this and is light years better then this one in every way, shape and form. This film has nothing going for it at all other then genre great George Kennedy in a supporting role (he's still under used). I suggest looking up the film "Evil Cat" and leaving this one in the litter box.

My Grade: D

DVD Extras: Only Trailers for "Tokyo!", "One Eyed Monster", "Just Buried" (this DVD pairs this film with "Night Shadows" here under its alternate title of "Mutant")

This movie is so much fun. The cat is awesome. The physical effects are grade school theatre quality. And the acting is campy and wonderful. I will 100% watch this movie again. Also, the cat meow track is a new level of wonderfully crappy filmmaking.

As victim of horrific nuclear experiments a common house-cat mutates into a flesh-eating monster whilst maintaining its benign exterior form. It escapes into the wild - Fort Lauderdale, Florida during Spring Break. Having killed multiple people along the way it is discovered and adopted by flighty young airhead Suzanne (Shattuck) who is headed for a yacht excursion with her friends.

The yacht is owned by lecherous opportunist and Wall Street crook Walter Graham (Cord). His thug associates - drunken imbecile Albert (Gulager) and crude misanthrope Mike (Kennedy) are with him. As the authorities close in Graham elects to alter the course of the boat away from the coast and toward the Cayman Islands where he has stashed his ill-begotten assets. The college kids go along as crew.

While the kitty-cat gets into mischief a distracted Walter puts the moves on each of the younger women on board. The cat very efficiently sabotages the boat and preys on its passengers infecting them with his bites while eating them.

This howler of a low-budget direct-to-video turkey has some of the worst acting performances in history. By the final third of the film it becomes a highlight of appalling reaction shots and forced line delivery. Before that the audience is witness to the rampage of an obvious hand-puppet portraying the title monster.

The ponderous editing and other post-production miscues are enough in and of themselves to thoroughly embarrass some pretty gifted and respected actors in the cast (Kennedy, Cord, Gulager and Carey). Likely they also served to thoroughly embarrass some not so gifted or respected actors in the cast (Hudson, Estes and Shattuck).

This film virtually evades falling into any type of horror genre you could think of: it's part sci-fi, part slasher, part comedy!!!

A fluffy house cat escapes from some random laboratory and is adopted by two bimbos who've been invited to cruise down to the Bahamas with mobster Alex Cord and take the cat with them for good luck. Said kitty has some kind of rat-bat thing living inside it that emerges when kitty gets pi***ed off and then shreds anyone who comes too close - including henchmen George Kennedy and Clu Gulager!

It's pretty funny stuff with a typical sequel-friendly ending (that was thankfully never taken up) and some really cheesy moments. Only for the voyeurs of crap cinema. I kinda liked it.