Le Clandestin

A group of scientists accidentally let a cute cuddly cat escape from their lab. What's so scary about a cute feline that one could possibly see on LOLcats?? Well this cat has a smaller badder mutant cat living inside it's mouth that comes out to kill people. (and sometimes grows to be the size of a biggish dog) Now don't you feel silly for asking. Anyways, after the dastardly pussy escapes we catch up with two gals dressed in the most atrocious '80's garb being invited to a mafioso's yacht party along with three other jackasses as well as cat whom shows up unexpectedly trapped in a box. Then the fun starts...

Well maybe 'fun' isn't the right word, the idea is somewhat original, but a Chinese film by the name of "Xiong mao" or translated as Evil Cat came out a year before this and is light years better then this one in every way, shape and form. This film has nothing going for it at all other then genre great George Kennedy in a supporting role (he's still under used). I suggest looking up the film "Evil Cat" and leaving this one in the litter box.

My Grade: D

DVD Extras: Only Trailers for "Tokyo!", "One Eyed Monster", "Just Buried" (this DVD pairs this film with "Night Shadows" here under its alternate title of "Mutant")

A really contrived set of circumstances leaves a group of fun-seeking Fort Lauderdale spring breakers stranded at sea on a luxury yacht with some desperate criminals and a mutated killer cat for company.

Uninvited is, to be completely honest, a total mess of a movie, with a ridiculous set-up, an incredibly unconvincing monster, and moments of utter tedium. On the flip side, it frequently enters 'so bad, it's good' territory, features a pair of extremely hot '80s babes (Clare Carey and Shari Shattuck, who spend most of their time in skimpy bikinis), and chucks in some reasonable gore (including some nifty 'erupting veins' bladder effects), making it one not to miss for fans of Z-grade trashy schlock.

Try not to laugh whenever the moth-eaten moggie hand puppet barfs up a rubber parasitic mutant twice its size!! Marvel as buff beauty Bobbie (Carey) performs an unenthusiastic aerobics routine!! And wonder in incredulity at how Oscar winner George Kennedy wound up appearing in such tacky crud.

4.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 5 for Clu Gulager's goofy teeth and bottle glasses, and that really bad sinking model yacht at the end.

Uninvited must surely rank as one of the baddest movies ever made. And in the same time it's also one of the most entertaining Horror/ Or-whatever-you-wanna-call-it-movie. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. it simply has everything. A small orange cat which has a monster inside, very bad special effects (Small toy boats, handpuppets, badly coloured blood to name a few. And then there's of course the bad acting, very ridiculous storyline and so forth. Still it's entertainment value is just over the edge. So all in all this movie mixed with a bad hangover, some beers and good friends, it's an unforgettable experience. 5 out of 6 stars..

This film virtually evades falling into any type of horror genre you could think of: it's part sci-fi, part slasher, part comedy!!!

A fluffy house cat escapes from some random laboratory and is adopted by two bimbos who've been invited to cruise down to the Bahamas with mobster Alex Cord and take the cat with them for good luck. Said kitty has some kind of rat-bat thing living inside it that emerges when kitty gets pi***ed off and then shreds anyone who comes too close - including henchmen George Kennedy and Clu Gulager!

It's pretty funny stuff with a typical sequel-friendly ending (that was thankfully never taken up) and some really cheesy moments. Only for the voyeurs of crap cinema. I kinda liked it.

As victim of horrific nuclear experiments a common house-cat mutates into a flesh-eating monster whilst maintaining its benign exterior form. It escapes into the wild - Fort Lauderdale, Florida during Spring Break. Having killed multiple people along the way it is discovered and adopted by flighty young airhead Suzanne (Shattuck) who is headed for a yacht excursion with her friends.

The yacht is owned by lecherous opportunist and Wall Street crook Walter Graham (Cord). His thug associates - drunken imbecile Albert (Gulager) and crude misanthrope Mike (Kennedy) are with him. As the authorities close in Graham elects to alter the course of the boat away from the coast and toward the Cayman Islands where he has stashed his ill-begotten assets. The college kids go along as crew.

While the kitty-cat gets into mischief a distracted Walter puts the moves on each of the younger women on board. The cat very efficiently sabotages the boat and preys on its passengers infecting them with his bites while eating them.

This howler of a low-budget direct-to-video turkey has some of the worst acting performances in history. By the final third of the film it becomes a highlight of appalling reaction shots and forced line delivery. Before that the audience is witness to the rampage of an obvious hand-puppet portraying the title monster.

The ponderous editing and other post-production miscues are enough in and of themselves to thoroughly embarrass some pretty gifted and respected actors in the cast (Kennedy, Cord, Gulager and Carey). Likely they also served to thoroughly embarrass some not so gifted or respected actors in the cast (Hudson, Estes and Shattuck).