Picasso Trigger

Once again, this Sidaris film seems to have everything: a fit and quite believable as an agent Dona Speir, an incredibly adorable Hope Marie Carlton (on a scale of 1 to 10, her smile is a 12), a gorgeous Roberta Vasquez, international locations (Paris, Las Vegas, Texas, Hawaii, etc.), LOTS of explosions, outrageous gadgets, etc. The mix should have been explosively hot, but sadly it's only lukewarm. The execution of the formula is mechanical, as if Sidaris was simply ticking off action scenes from a list. There are very few funny lines (the best belongs to Speir: when she's accused of being jealous, she says "there is not a jealous bone in my body - check it out for yourself", and she disrobes!) and the one fight scene, involving Harold Diamond, is terrible. But to end this comment on a positive note, John Aprea gives a slick performance as the arch-villain of the story. (**)

While never having heard about this 1988 movie titled "Picasso Trigger" from writer and director Andy Sidaris, I opted to sit down and watch it here in 2022, as I had the opportunity to do so after having seen the 1988 movie "Hard Ticket to Hawaii".

And I will say that "Picasso Trigger" definitely is right in the spirit and essence of the "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" movie, so if you enjoyed that one from Sidaris, then you will also enjoy this 1988 movie. I will admit that the movie was watchable enough for what it was, which is some typical late 1980s cheese, for better or worse.

It was actually fun to see the majority of the cast from "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" return to reprise their roles and characters in "Picasso Trigger", so it made for some sense of continuity. It should also be said that the acting performances in "Picasso Trigger" were adequate enough.

Visually then "Picasso Trigger" was an okay movie. I mean, it wasn't the best of special effects, and the usage of painfully obvious dummy stand-ins whenever an explosion was imminent was just hilarious.

If you enjoy 1980s cheesy action flicks, then you will definitely enjoy "Picasso Trigger".

My rating of "Picasso Trigger" lands on a five out of ten stars.

Picasso Trigger, the third film in Andy Sidaris's Malibu Express series, is par for the course in terms of nudity and violence, with the obligatory big breasted babes disrobing at regular intervals to get fruity with the musclebound hunks, and lots of baddies being shot, blown up, or impaled. Luckily, this one proves to be slightly more entertaining than the last entry (Hard Ticket to Hawaii) thanks to Sidaris adopting a more deliberate Bond-style approach, one that comes complete with an international villain and silly gadgets (designed by 'Q'-alike boffin, The Professor) to go with the usual array of chase scenes, explosions and exotic locations.

The plot (yes, there is a plot!) sees government agents Travis Abilene (Steve Bond), Jade (Harold Diamond), Donna (Dona Spier), Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) and Edy (Cynthia Brimhall) joined by Paris operative Pantera (Roberta Vasquez) to bring to justice the gang who have been bumping off their colleagues. However, everything is not as it first seems, with Travis and Co. eventually discovering that they have been set up by bad guy Salazar AKA Picasso Trigger (John Aprea) to help him eliminate his competition.

Picasso Trigger is no means a great film—Sidaris's direction still leaves a lot to be desired, the action scenes being far less thrilling than they are unintentionally amusing—but with plenty of sexy Playboy-standard babes getting naked, crap martial arts, a pointless sub-plot about snuff movies, crazy gimmicks such as an exploding boomerang (which would surely come back and blow YOU up?!?) and a rocket-launching crutch (programmed by pocket calculator), blatant product placement (even the local Hovercraft Hire company gets in on the action), and VERY LARGE CAPTIONS to let us know what day of the week it is, this is worth a go when you don't want to have to think very hard.

Andy Sidaris follows his usual formula with this mix of action, gorgeous scenery, and even more gorgeous women. The story deals with the title character, an international criminal played by handsome John Aprea. He's gunned down outside an art gallery by the goons of a crazed associate, Miguel Ortiz (Rodrigo Obregon). Then a team of government operatives, including Travis Abilene (amiable hunk Steve Bond), Donna (the delectable Dona Speir), and Taryn (lovely Hope Marie Carlton) spend their time trying to eliminate Ortiz and his henchmen.

"Picasso Trigger" is fun, at least to a degree. It's never inspired, but it's reasonably rousing at times and even if the viewer is otherwise bored, they'll hopefully be preoccupied with ogling the female cast members. Naturally, they show off the goods when they get a chance. The acting is basically good enough for this sort of thing. The standout is veteran Aprea, who's a real smooth type. The gadgets designed by "Q" type character The Professor (Richard LePore) are cute, especially that killer crutch.

The material is played with a degree of humour, with some choice bits of dialogue here and there. Things get a little annoying in the final minutes, with one "ending" after another, but the movie is overall a good little diversion.

Six out of 10.

Just watching the credits for Sidaris' flicks reveals where he gets his cast. Everyone is from Playboy, Penthouse, or Playgirl. What the heck, everyone wants a chance to act. At least none of these folks gave Sidaris any headaches about doing nude scenes!

The movies are popcorn, not meant to be taken to seriously. Just sit back and watch a bunch of occassionally naked women and guys kill some nefarious bad guys.