Picasso Trigger

Once again, this Sidaris film seems to have everything: a fit and quite believable as an agent Dona Speir, an incredibly adorable Hope Marie Carlton (on a scale of 1 to 10, her smile is a 12), a gorgeous Roberta Vasquez, international locations (Paris, Las Vegas, Texas, Hawaii, etc.), LOTS of explosions, outrageous gadgets, etc. The mix should have been explosively hot, but sadly it's only lukewarm. The execution of the formula is mechanical, as if Sidaris was simply ticking off action scenes from a list. There are very few funny lines (the best belongs to Speir: when she's accused of being jealous, she says "there is not a jealous bone in my body - check it out for yourself", and she disrobes!) and the one fight scene, involving Harold Diamond, is terrible. But to end this comment on a positive note, John Aprea gives a slick performance as the arch-villain of the story. (**)

My review was written in May 1988 after watching the movie at a Times Square screening room.

"Picasso Trigger" is a campy action picture jampacked with beautiful women and musclebound hunks. In regional release since February, pic is likely to arouse considerable interest in ancillary markets.

Filmmakers Andy and Arlene Sidaris' gimmick is that all seven "Picasso" leading ladies are former Playboy magazine models. Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carltpon encore from the previous opus from the Sidarises: "Hard Ticket to Hawaii", as two government agents stationed in Molokai. They're called in to join the international team to stop Salaza, a/k/a/ Picasso Trigge (John Apriea), who's sent his henchmen to assassinate the agents who got his brother.

Organized by L. G. Abilene (Guich Koock), who is one of the marked men, team is headed by Travis Abilene (former soap star Steve Bond) and includes a mothley group of figting experts (including Harold Diamond, antoher "Hard Ticket" alumnus) and bombshells (Cynthia Brimhall, Kym Malin, Patty Duffek). Also on board is the voluptuous but suspicious-looking foreign agent Pantera (Roberta Vasquez), who coincidentally was Travis' sweetheart in college.

With many cute gadgets, inlcuding toy plane, car and dynamite-laden boomerange, injected into the action, the film plays firmly tongue-in-cheek as a omic strip approach to international intrigue. All the characters and thesps arfe larger than life, with silly bon mots peppering the dialog. Episodic format, with too much time addrfessed to side issues or rounding up the team, is a drawback.

Acting is variable, with most of the cast used to posing rather than reading liens. Bond, recently miscast in a West German period piece "Silent Night", is convincing as the hero who can't shoot straight, allowing his lovely co-stars to assert themselves in the killing and self-defense departments. Speir and Carlton are enthusiastic, uninhibited heroines with newcomer Vasquez making a strong impression as the villainess.

Playboy fans will be glad to see Liv Lindeland again, looking great and delivering a couple of funny lines (her film career peaked wih a character role in "Save the Tiger" 15 years back).

Tech credits including numerous explosions ar fine, with atmospheric location photography in Hawaii, Texas and Louisiana.

Picasso Trigger, the third film in Andy Sidaris's Malibu Express series, is par for the course in terms of nudity and violence, with the obligatory big breasted babes disrobing at regular intervals to get fruity with the musclebound hunks, and lots of baddies being shot, blown up, or impaled. Luckily, this one proves to be slightly more entertaining than the last entry (Hard Ticket to Hawaii) thanks to Sidaris adopting a more deliberate Bond-style approach, one that comes complete with an international villain and silly gadgets (designed by 'Q'-alike boffin, The Professor) to go with the usual array of chase scenes, explosions and exotic locations.

The plot (yes, there is a plot!) sees government agents Travis Abilene (Steve Bond), Jade (Harold Diamond), Donna (Dona Spier), Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) and Edy (Cynthia Brimhall) joined by Paris operative Pantera (Roberta Vasquez) to bring to justice the gang who have been bumping off their colleagues. However, everything is not as it first seems, with Travis and Co. eventually discovering that they have been set up by bad guy Salazar AKA Picasso Trigger (John Aprea) to help him eliminate his competition.

Picasso Trigger is no means a great film—Sidaris's direction still leaves a lot to be desired, the action scenes being far less thrilling than they are unintentionally amusing—but with plenty of sexy Playboy-standard babes getting naked, crap martial arts, a pointless sub-plot about snuff movies, crazy gimmicks such as an exploding boomerang (which would surely come back and blow YOU up?!?) and a rocket-launching crutch (programmed by pocket calculator), blatant product placement (even the local Hovercraft Hire company gets in on the action), and VERY LARGE CAPTIONS to let us know what day of the week it is, this is worth a go when you don't want to have to think very hard.

This film essentially begins with an international crime lord known as "Picasso Trigger" (John Aprea) being assassinated in Paris by a colleague named "Miguel Ortiz" (Rodrigo Obregon) who wants to take over his underworld empire. Not only that, but Miguel is equally determined to kill everyone who anything to do with the death of his brother some time before. To that extent, one of his first attempts is against both "Donna" (Dona Speir) and "Taryn" (Hope Marie Carlton) were vacationing on a boat just off the coast of Maui. Fortunately, as luck would have it, the two of them had just gone snorkeling just minutes before a remote-controlled airplane bomb slams into their boat and blowing it up. Meanwhile, in Las Vegas, a colleague of Miguel by the name of "Mr. Schiavo" (Nicholas Georgiade) has also targeted several agents who have been investigating his white-slavery racket as well. To that effect, with so many of his agents being either killed or narrowly escaping assassination attempts, the man in charge of these agents by the name of "L. G. Abilene" (Guich Koock) decides to turn the tables and go after Miguel Ortiz. What he doesn't know, however, is that there is more to these assassination attempts than he realizes and there is one person within his agency that has a secret agenda of their own. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this sequel to "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" was, in my opinion, a little bit better than its predecessor as both the acting and the script showed a slight improvement. Likewise, the presence of several attractive actresses like Cynthia Bremhall (as "Edy"), Roberta Vasquez ("Pantera"), Kym Malin ("Kym") and the aforementioned Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton certainly didn't hurt either. On the other hand, much like the previous picture, the plot lacked depth and needed a lot more suspense or intrigue as the numerous action scenes were simply not sufficient to maintain interest for an extended period of time. At least, I didn't think so. Be that as it may, while this wasn't a bad action film by any means, it had its faults and I have rated it accordingly. Slightly below average.

Andy Sidaris follows his usual formula with this mix of action, gorgeous scenery, and even more gorgeous women. The story deals with the title character, an international criminal played by handsome John Aprea. He's gunned down outside an art gallery by the goons of a crazed associate, Miguel Ortiz (Rodrigo Obregon). Then a team of government operatives, including Travis Abilene (amiable hunk Steve Bond), Donna (the delectable Dona Speir), and Taryn (lovely Hope Marie Carlton) spend their time trying to eliminate Ortiz and his henchmen.

"Picasso Trigger" is fun, at least to a degree. It's never inspired, but it's reasonably rousing at times and even if the viewer is otherwise bored, they'll hopefully be preoccupied with ogling the female cast members. Naturally, they show off the goods when they get a chance. The acting is basically good enough for this sort of thing. The standout is veteran Aprea, who's a real smooth type. The gadgets designed by "Q" type character The Professor (Richard LePore) are cute, especially that killer crutch.

The material is played with a degree of humour, with some choice bits of dialogue here and there. Things get a little annoying in the final minutes, with one "ending" after another, but the movie is overall a good little diversion.

Six out of 10.