Memorial Valley Massacre

This is one of those typical late 80's slashers, missing the point completely. In the beginning of the decade, the genre had it's high moments but later on, as this movies exemplifies, the dynamic wasn't there anymore.

Memorial Valley Campground is set to open and it's money driven owner won't let a dead dog found in the well delay the grand opening. No water, snakes and a unfinished road are some of the other attractions of the camp. The son's owner shows up, after finishing college he wanted to do something more in touch with his sensitive nature. The charismatic ranger in charge of the camp, doesn't seem very pleased with the energetic young man, but he has no choice but to accept his presence. Soon he'll have other more serious problems to take care of. The killer lives in a cave, so cave boy will come out and provoke chaos among campers. His reasons, unfinished business between him and the ranger.

cave boy as gotta be one of the worse "bad guys" I've ever seen, a person just feels like grounding him, he's really not effective in his role. The rest of the acting is also pretty bad. The movie's score is childish and comedic. There's a couple of gory scenes (cheesy but worth mentioning), which may seem surprising because by the time they take place, you're convinced this is a comedy, not a horror movie.

I saw this 80s slasher on British video as 'Valley of Death' and it's one of those flicks where everyone is so naff and stupid the reason to keep watching is to see how many of them die horribly. Unfortunately the violence is a bit too restrained, which is a problem because the stupidity rating of the characters is high - all the cliches are here, the obnoxious fat kid, a pair of poodle-haired teenage hoodlums and a gang of acting school rejects trying to be tough bikers. The girls are old-school, i.e. they don't tool up and try to be Sigourney Weaver as soon as there's a threat. The main problem is with the maniac who's stalking them - he's obviously like the cannibal killers in 'The Hills Have Eyes', but instead it looks more like Cindi Lauper designed him. Not very threatening! But if you need a dumb campsite murder flick to end the night with, it's bearable and you can enjoy the formula even if it could do with some nastier payoffs.

Memorial Valley Massacre is one of many run of the mill slasher movies. The acting is very rigid and staged and the actors don't always fit the characters they play very well. Most of the movie looks scripted. You can almost feel them trying to say the right line. There is one character that in my opinion stood out. I do think that Jimmy Justice did a good job playing Zeke. For the most part though, most of the acting was pretty bad. The "slasher" bad guy was a big disappointment. He's not scary looking at all but he does manage to perform a good number of kills, some of them halfway decent. The killer's abilities and knowledge are totally unbelievable but there is so much in this film that just doesn't make sense that it really doesn't matter. Just shake your head, laugh and keep watching. What I did enjoy about this movie is that it's so simple, light and easy to follow. There's nothing complicated in this movie. Some of the kills were pretty good and a good portion of the film falls under the "It's so bad it's good" category. It might be better to say it's so bad it's funny. There are so many films out there that are much worse. At least this one has some entertainment value. Although forgettable, you could make a worse pick.

From a horror standpoint, "Memorial Valley Massacre" is a worthless slasher that no serious horror fan should bother with. What saves it from being a total bomb is the tongue-in-cheek approach of the filmmakers, at least in the first half. For example, early on a man says "We've got a problem with the water" (the movie is set on a camp) and proceeds to pull a dead dog out of the well! Hilarious! Then Cameron Mitchell (who appears for about 2 minutes as an investor; did he actually get paid for this?) asks: "Screw the dog, is the water fit to drink?" (!!!). The film also includes the following exchange: "Are you the head ranger here?" - "Well, I'm the only ranger here, so I guess you can say I'm the head one". Oh, and the primitive kid who has lived all his life away from civilization, apparently knows how to create a gas explosion. (*1/2)

This film seemed like it might be a good B grade slasher as I often have enjoyed them, I liked the concept of a hermit serial killer, it was false advertising. What you get is a made for t.v style movie, full with a bad soundtrack, mostly terrible acting with the exception of George who looks like Stanley Baker, and the Black groundskeeper. The other campers are a crew of Disney style bikers, two horny punks with a tease of an easy girl, two unlikable city parents with their chubby son who acts too flamboyant to ride an ATV, or be a thief, lone female camper who for some reason lived to the end of the film. Lets not forget about our hermit who is actually a caveman, that learned to make fur garments, and channel is inner MacGyver in booby trap making. The most laughable part was when the caveman was tampering with William Smits RV and it actually said flammable above a door covering the gas line for cooking, the cave man somehow knew how to tamper with it. Most of the deaths are cheesy but then this film was 1 hr 33 min of pause cheesiness. 1.5/5.