Grotesque

After watching Linda Blair's HELL NIGHT and discovering a lost '80s gem, I decided to check out another of her post-EXORCIST works, hoping to find something almost as cool. Unfortunately, I chose GROTESQUE, a film about as cool as plunging your hands in boiling water.

A special effects man in Hollywood (who should've been out of a job years ago based on the quality of his work!) takes some time off to spend a quiet weekend with his family in the mountains. But trouble comes knocking in the form of a homicidal Billy Idol and his friends, looking for some Hollywood money and willing to kill for it. But the punks might find more than they're bargaining for...

GROTESQUE has absolutely no idea what kind of film it wants to be. It starts off with a light horror-comedy exposition before abruptly switching gears to a brutal home-invasion thriller. Then it's a cop drama. Then it's a monster movie. Then it's a revenge thriller. Then it decides it wants to be tongue-in-cheek. It's almost as if the director realized his original film was a complete, utter failure and then rewrote the second half, then rewrote it again... and again... and again.

Trouble is, its tone is completely off. Grim home-invasion scenes are soundtracked by bouncy, cheesy synth work. Comedy is abruptly cut off by brutality, and major characters are suddenly disposed of and never brought up again. There's 90 minutes of plot in the first half an hour, then endless sequences of walking through the woods and interrogation scenes in the second. And the film waves goodbye with one of the most head-scratching, incompetent endings I've ever witnessed.

I realize bad movie lovers might get excited reading this review, but it doesn't even deliver the so-bad-it's-good goods. It's mind-numbingly dull, so inept that its ineptness doesn't even provide entertainment. GROTESQUE is one of the worst horror flicks of the decade, and a gung-ho Linda Blair can do nothing to save it.

I did like what one reviewer said about this film's plot drunkenly staggering all over the place. It does. I first saw this movie, like others I review on IMDb, when I was a kid, on the USA network. I saw it from the beginning to the part when the dad gets clubbed by the hoodlums, and then my mom turned it off, saying, "you don't need to see that". Then I think we watched COPS or something. I remember it was on USA's Saturday Nightmares. Well, I just moved to a new town, and the local video store had a worn out old copy of this movie so I rented it. I saw a few parts I had remembered and some I didn't, but the bottom line is it's a good movie. There is some truly bad acting, and some violence that is just plain mean. There are also some really stupid plot holes, but if you like '80's horror, then this is not too bad. The plot does jump around a bit; the whole thing flashes around like it's the plot to some big network action pilot. Also containing stupid dialog and an out-of-place ending(but some truly exploitative violence), this is a good film for any '80's horror buff. Oh, and the Frankenstein/Wolfman ending is only on the TV version. Whoever has a tape of that TV version should treasure it I guess. Three stars.

My review was written in October 1988 after watching the movie on Media Home Entertainment video cassette.

Various low-budget filmmakers team up for the forgettable "Grotesque", a horror exercise aimed primarily at the video trade.

Awkward structure has Linda Blair fronting for the first few reels, driving home for a family reunion, accompanied by pal Donna Wilkes. Her dad Guy Stockwell is a super makeup effects expert, treated to a dose of gore when a gang of punkers (who've had a run-in with Blair on the road) invade the house and start killing everyone.

Blair escapes in the snow and is saved when an overgrown, slow-witted relative is set free from his secret room by the punkers and goes on the rampage. Cops led by Charles Dierkop (of tv's "Police Woman" series) believe the punkers' story blaming the relative for all the trouble.

Though surviving and hospitalized, Blair is written out of the film at this point, with Tab Hunter taking over the lead role as her plastic surgeon uncle. He takes he law into his own hands and predictably avenges his family's massacre by surgically mutilating the punkers' faces in yucky fashion.

Makeup effects here are unimpressive. Credits include many familiar names from indie pics, ranging from composer Bill Loose to "The Love Butcher" co-director Mikel Angel. Luana Patten, absent from the big screen for two decades, has a small role as a gothic old lady in an opening film-within-a-film segment.

Hunter attacks his unsympathetic role with some relish, but Blair, who previously toiled for helmer Joe Tornatore in reshoots on "Nightforce", has little to sink her teeth into.

I first saw this in 1990 on USA Network's "Saturday Nightmares" program block. I recently found my home recorded copy on VHS and decided to revisit it. Honestly... after all these years Grotesque is still a fun movie.

The premise/plot is crazy, the acting is over the top and the make up effects are crude.But hey...that's all part of the charm. As an avid punk rock enthusiast in the 80's this movie was a campy must see for my circle of friends. Granted it's more of a "made for TV" kind of vibe as opposed to say Repo Man, Return of the Living Dead, Dudes, Class of 1984 or heck even Valley Girl but it still fits. Grotesque is one of those flicks you put on when you get home after an evening of partying and hanging out with friends and just want to space out. My friends watched it for Linda Blair but personally, I always watched it for the actress that played "Shelly". Michelle Bensoussan was absolutely beautiful AND bad ass! Oh and it also featured featured Robert "Maniac Cop" Z'Dar!!!

Check it out if you get the chance otherwise...I guess you had to be there.

Grotesque (1988) is a truly weird slice of cheesy 80s horror that suffers from something of an identity crisis: the film doesn't adhere to a single sub-genre, but is a strange concoction of home invasion horror, monster movie, and revenge flick, all topped off with an absolutely insane double-twist ending. The result is far from what you would call brilliant film-making, but it is definitely loopy enough to provide an entertaining time for those who actively seek out B-movie strangeness.

Director Joe Tornatore quickly sets the unpredictable tone for his film, beginning with a film-within-a-film prologue, after which he introduces us to close friends Kate and Lisa (B-movie favourites Linda Blair and Donna Wilkes) who, while driving to visit Kate's parents at their remote mountain retreat, run into a spot of bother with a gang of punks (assorted rejects from Class of 1984 and Mad Max, whose number includes the unmistakable Robert Z'dar) before hastily making their escape.

During the night, however, the punks find their way to the house, break in, and slaughter the occupants, mistakenly believing there to be a fortune hidden somewhere in the property; what they find instead is hideously deformed man-child Patrick (Bob Apiza), the family secret, who understandably ain't too happy to see the uninvited guests. Angry Patrick goes on the rampage, tracking down and killing the punks one by one, but before he can take care of their leader Scratch (Brad Wilson) and his bitch Shelly (Michelle Bensoussan), the ugly oaf is shot dead by a posse who believe him to be the one responsible for all the dead folk back home.

At this point the film feels like it has reached a natural end, but it ain't over yet: Kate's Uncle Rod, a successful plastic surgeon, turns up on the scene and, after a spot of very dull and inefficient police procedure that allows Scratch and Shelly to walk free, decides to take the law into his own hands. This insane revenge finale, which packs a neat surprise, sees the film bouncing back in fine style, and then to cap it all, Tornatore tacks on a completely loopy ending featuring—believe it or not—Frankenstein's monster and the Wolfman!!!

As you can probably tell, Grotesque is utterly bonkers trash from start to finish, but with its atrocious punks, some half decent violence (best bit: a punkette having her spine snapped against a tree), cool vengeful freak Patrick, unpredictable action, and a jaw-droppingly silly finale, it's just too much fun to ignore.

6.5 out of 10, rounded up to 7 for IMDb (although it would have been a fully-fledged 7 or higher had Wilkes or Blair shown some skin!).