Frankenstein General Hospital

My review was written in May 1988 after watching the movie on New Star video cassette.

"Frankenstein General Hospital" is a rather flat sendup of horror films, closer to aping "Young Doctors in Love" than Mel Brooks' classic "Young Frankenstein". In regional release since March, it's headed for home video.

Mark Blankfield, who unsuccessfully sent up another genre classic in Paramount's flop "Jekyll & Hyde.. Together Again", toplines as Dr. Bob Frankenstein. Great-great-grandson of the legendary scientist, who's busy experimenting on the creation of a perfect human in the basement of General Hospital whr he works. Gag of all the downstairs scenes being in black & whit offes a pleasant visual variation.

Sadeled with dumb puns and lots of running gags that don't work, nealr plotless film proceeds by fits and stasrts, with an occasional, brief topless sene by former Plyaboy magazine model Kathy Showe4r (cast unconvincingly as the hospital shrink) or voluptuous nurse Katie Caple to liven things up. Blankfield is hamstrung by the weak material; ditto his dimutive asisstant Iggy, played unfunnily by Leslie Jordan.

In casting reminiscent of the 1940s films of Rondo Hatton, distorted-featur4ed Irwin Keyes plays the monster with little makeup required; it works for a while, but Keyes is far too normal looking and unscary to support the latter reels when he's supposdely on the rampage upstairs in the hospital and everyone screams at the sight of him.

Tech credits are acceptable.

You know you're in trouble when Kathy Shower is both the most recognizable name and the best actress in the cast. Actually, there isn't enough Kathy Shower in "Frankenstein General Hospital" to save it. The film does boast one good idea - shooting all the laboratory scenes in black & white, as a kind of homage to the old Frankenstein classics. Other than that, it is boring, amateurish and witless. * out of 4.

On balance, it must be said that I had heard a lot of terrible things about Frankenstein General Hospital before purchasing it, some of which were absolutely right, like that it relies more on Young Frankenstein than it does Mary Shelley's original novel, and some of which were bold-faced lies, like that it's the worst Frankenstein film ever made. I have seen far worse Frankenstein films, like Jerry Warren's Frankenstein Island. This film is a very poor man's Young Frankenstein set in a Los Angeles General Hospital with volume on the sexual puns turned way up. It deals with Mark Blankfield's Dr. Bob Frankenstein, with the help of his dwarf assistant Iggy, creating a new Monster (Irwin Keyes) in his black and white laboratory in the basement of a Los Angeles General Hospital run by a bunch of money hungry, sex-starved nitwits.

When I say Frankenstein General Hospital is the horror spoof equivalent to Fozzie Bear, I mean it's so unfunny that it's fun to watch, particularly on a double-video bill with Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks' masterpiece. The best things about this movie are Mark Blankfield, Leslie Jordan as Iggy and Irwin Keyes as the Monster, who are trying the best they can to make you forget you're watching a cheap Young Frankenstein knock-off (and thanks to them, you almost want to). Most people have accused Blankfield and Keyes of ripping off Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle respectively, but I'm guessing they realized this was what they were supposed to do. It's not really all that funny, but give it a chance before you call it the worst Frankenstein movie ever made (if you can find it).

However, charming actors and a few clever bits like having the basement lab in B&W with everything else in color and the Monster's visit with a blind girl in the hospital can't save the movie from its' major problem: It is a Frankenstein parody set in a hospital. A good rule of thumb when you're making a parody of hospitals, I mean aside from DON'T DO IT, IT WON'T WORK, HOSPITALS ARE NOT FUNNY, is that if it is also a parody of something else like the horror or action genre, you must concentrate on one type of joke or the other.

I'll put it simply: this Frankenstein spoof (actually more of a Frankenstein travesty) doesn't offer enough laughs to merit a recommendation. There is no plot, and there isn't enough material for a feature-length film; as a result, there are some scenes where the actors are just sitting in front of the camera doing almost nothing, because nobody gave them something to do. The script is lame and the treatment of the Frankenstein Monster is demeaning. (*1/2)

I won't even go into how funny, obnoxious, or drab this movie is (you can get all that from the title, or just the picture on the cover). I won't get into why I even watched it, because I don't know why, other than that I owned it for some reason. All I want to talk about is how amorally horrible it is. Okay, so it's bad to over-analyze dreck like this, but at least it kept me slightly ocupied while I half-hazardly watched it. "Bob" (Mark Blankfeld), channelling gene wilder), is a snide twerp who steals and blackmails, let alone harasses his assistant. The assistant (Iggy- cute, huh? Played by Leslie Jordan- avoid all movies with this whining puffball at all costs) murders people. The "sexy" dominatrix psychiatrist has random sex with a monster. The monster throws a blind girl out the window (this scene might've been funny if a better director did it, but it just comes off sort of stupidly chilling (?) to me here). These are the good guys. And the bad guys? Well, there's the evil head of the hospital, who's upset... because people are dying in his hospital. Then there's the oafish Dr. who cries because he's being framed for killing his patients. Then there's the sinister professor who wants revenge on Bob... because bob stole his experiment. Yeah, great character development, guys. Next time you make a crappy movie at least try to make the heroes likable. Oh yeah, the acting's okay.