Fair Game

I had the dubious pleasure of attending a pre-screening of this movie at a Los Angeles studio in 1987 or 1988, and I find it really hard to believe that it ever made it out of editing room garbage cans. On the other hand, maybe I should take that back; there are good bad movies, and there are bad bad movies, and I have to admit that I really enjoyed guffawing in disbelief throughout this one. Still, my favorite part of the screening was filling out the evaluation form after seeing this gem: I have never had a more fruitful opportunity to exercise my limited abilities in sardonic wit. If I remember correctly, that document was my masterpiece in the genre. I wish I had a copy. Many thanks to my friend and student at the time, Sergio Canto, who got the passes to the screening.

P.S. I could take a line or two to outline what I remember about the plot of the "film," but that's as much as the writer did, so I guess I won't bother.

This is a stunningly bad film, certainly the worst and most inept I've ever had the misfortune to sit through. The acting and direction are not even professional and the script makes no sense at all. It's hard to understand how the video was accepted for mass distribution, there really is no artistic merit at all.

You know how some movies are so bad, they're good? My wife and I laughed out loud more watching this than we do watching some comedies. DVR this...watching it double speed is fine - just slow down for the ridiculous rare dialog.

The film appears to be entirely an Italian production. I kept guessing that the only way this was made was that it was written, directed, and starring Trudy Styler, and produced by Sting...to keep her busy. But nope, unless Sting paid off a bunch of Italian people, it looks like someone actually read this and thought "hey, this worth making". I can only guess that substantial drug use let this little turd get green lighted. Or Sting paid them off. But that's it - the only 2 plausible explanations.

I don't know what movie the one reviewer saw, but it is clear from this that Ms. Styler is NO actress. Maybe the work she has done in other films is decent, but I have yet to see it or find the other films.

This one, on the other hand is awful: weak plot, weak characters, bad cinematography, and horrible dialogue. Not worth the price of the rental no matter HOW tempting the 99 cent rack may be....."Return of the Killer Tomatoes" was money better spent than this.

The gist of the story: Video game inventor takes revenge out on girlfriend who left him by trapping her in her loft/building/house with a deadly mamba.

Parts of this are so ridiculous that I find it difficult to type them: this guy (Greg Henry) injects the snake with it's own hormones to make it produce more venom. This apparently will make the snake more aggressive and therefore, more willing to hunt for a victim to drain the poison into......uh.....yeah, sure......what EVER! I guess the moron writing the script couldn't be bothered to pick up the "Idiot's guide to basic knowledge of herpetology" or even turn on the t.v. to catch a couple of Steve Irwin's misadventures into the snake world to know that this cannot happen.....but I digress. When Trudie's character does realize she has a cold blooded guest in the house, her methods of protecting herself look like slap-stick - and one need not look too deep to see that the homely Mrs. Sting seems a little TOO enthused about her self (i.e. - conceited - I understand that as an actor one must pose, preen and emote to the lens, but Jeez lady, get over yourself!).

Another factoid that is laughable in this disaster and poor excuse of a movie is the way she affords her rather spacious and expensive looking digs: she makes Play-Dough sculptures - that's right, boys and girls: PLAY-DOUGH SCULPTURES - for kids. And her work is anything but inspiring, let me tell ya'.

Her running around the loft/house/warehouse home of hers, running from the snake as if it were a machete wielding Jason has it's hilarious moments, all unintentional by the way, but the ending is a real screamer....check this out only when you hate yourself, but not enough to commit Hari-Kari.

(This has all the makings of a cheap exploitive thriller.)

"Mamba" ("Fair Game" in the United States) is a decent, albeit somewhat exploitive thriller about Gene (Gregg Henry), a deranged computer game designer who locks his ex-fiancé Eva (Trudie Styler) inside their apartment with a deadly Black Mamba snake.

Directed by Mario Orfini, he keeps a tight pace and strong sense of dread as Eva runs around her apartment trying to avoid certain death at the fangs of a lethal snake, all the while Gene watches the madness from a car parked down on the street. Styler really carries this film on her delicate shoulders, even remaining strong in some of the sillier haunted house/slasher-style moments. It does seem kind of strange that her apartment is devoid of windows (thus setting up the fun-house element for Gene's later entertainment).

One thing that does seem to bother me is how the camera does seem fixated on Styler during a few instances when she has to strip off her clothes. While the camera misses a few of the more explicit shots of her feminine features, you kind of get the idea that Orfini (and the audience) are still getting tantalized.

"Fair Game" gets a fair rating for at least keeping you watching.

4/10