Casablanca Express

Ultra lame World War II flick. Absolutely flat dialog scenes, boring action sequences, and some of the worst music ever devised by man! I'm usually a big fan of Sergio Martino's work, but this film was far too weak to stand up. The two stars, Francesco Quinn and Jason Connery, are the sons of Anthony Quinn and Sean Connery. Star-power (or son-of-star-power) is what the film relied upon too heavily. The result is a 90 minute waste of time, with some of the most startling historical errors ever committed to film. Far too boring to be funny.

This film was on a DVD with another film, "The Swiss Conspiracy," so comparisons are inevitable. I gave this a 6 because I thought it was better than "The Swiss Conspiracy." Which isn't saying much. But I actually liked this film a little better than most of the other people who commented on this board.

Its stars are Jason Connery, son of Sean, and Francesco Quinn, son of Anthony, along with Glenn Ford, Donald Pleasance, Jean Sorel and Jinny Stefan.

One thing that made me deeply regret watching this film was that I had never seen Glenn Ford in anything he did after Superman - until this 1989 movie. Though I give him credit for not wearing a hairpiece or getting a face lift, his appearance was an unwelcome shock.

The story concerns getting Churchill to Casablanca via train. I am not the World War II expert that some of the other reviewers here are, so I can't speak to the inaccuracies. I found the action sequences, especially those concerning the train, exciting, suspenseful, and well directed.

One thing that was somewhat stupid - one of the Germans goes through the train, shooting anybody in his way - we're talking men, women, or children.

Then he tells his commander that one man, whose dead body the commander sees, came after him and he had to shoot in self defense. "I told you not to kill any civilians," the commander says. So much for following orders - there was hardly anyone left alive or not wounded on the entire train of civilians!

As for the rest of the movie, forget it. I didn't feel that Quinn or Connery had any charisma or acting ability, though I notice that both men continue to rack up jobs. However, they are very handsome.

Connery (who isn't in this) seems to come from the same Star Children Acting Academy - when they don't know what to do, they shake their heads and tighten their lips as a reaction to some event.

This normally means that the camera is on them when they have no dialogue, and they think they have to do something. They do, but on film, often an internal thought that expresses itself in the eyes is better. Sometimes less is more. Of course, less can be less, too. Connery did this grimace/head business constantly, never changing expression.

The film had that grainy, cheap look to it and poor color. Possibly the people in this movie have moved up to better quality projects. I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing.

The plot is a WWII attempt by Axis powers to kidnap Winston Churchill.

What we have is an epic style film here, one of those larger than life Indiana Jones type flicks that isn't meant to be taken seriously, and goes instead for the thrills and bangs.

And it pretty well does that. We have mega stars Pleasance and Ford doing the older officer bits, and we have young action heroes doing quite well in the "not to be taken seriously" action. Of course it is off the wall action, but there really isn't any attempt by the director to disguise this. This is James Bond or Indiana Jones style escapism.

The characters are not overly deep, but more intended to convey comedy. Again, there is no attempt to disguise this.

We have some surprises, especially in the identity of the spy. Nothing big, just enough to make it entertaining.

Lots of needless shooting and silly action scenes. If you like Bond flicks, you'll like this, though. Same thing.

As a 22 year Army veteran, I become almost nauseous viewing war movies with numerous technical errors. The "Marine" assault battalion fires a 3.5" rocket launcher from a moving train without regard to the back blast effect on the Marines riding directly behind the weapon.

The army uniforms were hokey. Army officers, under the rank of general, have two insignias per lapel, a "U.S." and a branch insignia. About half the time one of our heroes has his worn correctly, the other half of the time incorrectly.

The rescuing Marines have corpsmen with them that have ludicrous looking helmet liners with huge red crosses on them. Those crosses would have made great targets for even a blind sniper.

The soldiers accompanying the train were geared up for combat wearing their helmet liners sans helmets. They also were wearing an American flag patch on their left shoulders. These flag patches should have been on their right shoulders (I know D-Day invasion forces had these flags sewn on, but I am not too sure about our soldiers in Africa) and their unit patches on their left.

Certainly wish some of the directors/producers could spring a few bucks and hire some ex-GI's as technical advisers.

CASABLANCA EXPRESS is a last-ditch Italian WW2 film, actually shot in Casablanca in part and set on a train for much of the running time. It comes to us courtesy of Sergio Martino, a man who has created films like THE CASE OF THE SCORPION'S TAIL and MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD throughout a lengthy career, though it's undoubtedly one of his lesser efforts.

The story is about Winston Churchill embarking on a train journey and the attempts by the Nazis to have him assassinated en route. Thankfully, the powers that be employ some top counter-agents to fight off the threat, and the stage is set for plentiful action. What a pity, then, that the film turns out to be so cheap, shoddy and inept, fumbling what should be suspenseful action sequences and generally proving to be less than enthralling.

CASABLANCA EXPRESS boasts not one but two offspring of famous movie stars; Jason Connery, son of Sean, is the wooden lead, while Francesco Quinn, son of Anthony, supports him. A trio of famous names - Jean Sorel, Donald Pleasence, and Glenn Ford - feature heavily on the cast list and advertising, but are largely limited to those 'sitting around talking' type roles that are included for tokenism. There's a nice little role for STAGE FRIGHT's David Brandon, though. This film also features the worst Chuchill lookalike after ever.

If CASABLANCA EXPRESS had featured halfway decent action and suspense scenes it might have been good, but it all feels quite inept. There isn't a great deal of realism here, a lot of the acting is over the top, and the shoot-outs and explosions do look very staged.